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Undiagnosed, seeking info

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by sharlinski, Jul 1, 2020.

  1. sharlinski

    sharlinski New Member

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    Hi everybody. My name is Sherri, and my 16yo daughter was diagnosed with autism last summer. The more we learn about autism and the ways it can manifest in women, the more my kids are certain I am on the spectrum as well. I'm 49 years old, and have had a lot of issues that I have overcome, such as OCD (which I have to spot-check regularly), and I have always said I feel like everyone else has a social rule book that I don't have. When I was a kid I did a lot of things that I now know is stimming, but at the time just made me seem and feel weird. This was in the 70s and 80s. I've had plenty of time to beat those things out of myself, and as many autistic people do, I have learned to mask to the level that I think people would be shocked to know some of the things I do while at home alone. Such as plucking my leg hairs for hours, or playing a game on my phone WAY past the time when I want to stop, because I'm unable to change tasks.

    One thing I've learned through my search so far is that a lot of struggles I thought were typical of the general population really are not. And this is why I would get reactions I didn't understand. So some red flags for autism that I don't think I have, such as the inability to name and express my emotions--maybe I'm not that great at naming my emotions, and I just don't know how good other people are at it. Lots of self-doubt here.

    But once I started looking and talking about it with my kids, I realize there is a LOT of behavior that I didn't know wasn't typical of the general population. And now I wonder how I've stunted my NT kids' development by not teaching them how to live in a NT world. :(

    Anyway, I don't know if I have the stamina to try to get a diagnosis, knowing that there's not much they can do for me as a self-sufficient, if struggling, adult.
     
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  2. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    upload_2020-7-1_12-59-41.png
     
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  3. Federico Fernández

    Federico Fernández Member

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    Again, my English skills fail me to fully understand the post (not any missing piece). What I can tell you is that it is never late to get a diagnosis. For years and years I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'd like to add the "F-word" before "schizophrenia", but this is a respectful forum ha ha.

    Welcome to the forums!.
     
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  4. Moshi Moshi ^w^

    Moshi Moshi ^w^ Sushi Thief V.I.P Member

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    Welcome! :)

    So you could fall into the Higher Functioning Autism category. I suggest you try take some quizzes on the internet such as (Autism / Asperger's Test - 2 Minute Test, Instant Results.), and then depeding on the results get a professional opinion or 2, otherwise just get a professional opinion from the beginning. Whether you want help or not is entirely up to you but, it might be to your benefit to better understand yourself. Higher Functioning Autism isn't always easy to diagnose so getting 2 opinions might be a good idea but it's not necessarily a have to.

    Hope you find some closure in your diagnoses! ^^
     
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  5. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'd trust your kids opinion on being on the spectrum more then most shrinks. Kids are usually open minded and professionals not so much. And the profession is really reluctant to recognize things that aren't classic textbook. Like a doctor that thinks you must be beridden before saying you are ill.
     
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  6. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi and welcome. When you said you thought there must be a social rule book you didn't have, I thought it was a great phrase to describe how it is to be autistic. I recognise that feeling.

    I don't know how important a diagnosis is to you, if it is, get one, but either way you can learn ideas and strategies here, and mix with others with similar struggles or experiences.

    NTs are so much in the majority that your NT children will have seen their reflection easily and everywhere I would think. They had a loving mum, don't fret about it.

    :blowfish::fish::tropicalfish::spoutingwhale::dolphin::whale::spiralshell:
     
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  7. ZebraAspie

    ZebraAspie Well-Known Member

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    Hi and welcome.
     
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  8. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Like your take on things. Glad you are here. And welcome.
     
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  9. Giraffes

    Giraffes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome sharlinki i had a late diagnosis and found that being here has been more helpful, given more insight and a sence of belonging than my Autism diagnosis, i hope you find comfort here.
     
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  10. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Welcome. One thing to note is that everyone with autism is different and you don't have to hit every benchmark to be autistic. Only people with really severe autism are usually noticable readily.
     
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  11. sharlinski

    sharlinski New Member

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    Thank you for the warm welcome!

    I have taken a couple of online quizzes. One was this Aspie Quiz, scored both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits (sorry, can't remember the exact scores!) and the Autism Spectrum Quotient in which I scored 37 with 32-50 being the threshold for ASD likelihood.

    I'm sure I'm not the only one who self-diagnosed just by reading about the traits of Aspergers (which I know is a clinically obsolete term) and reading stories that sounded a lot like mine. I've spent my whole life striving to be socially acceptable, which is funny because I've been socially acceptable for a long time, I just didn't know how to judge it. I'm terrified I won't know how to respond to various social situations, so over the years I've cataloged appropriate responses to a lot of different scenarios and just hope people don't throw me a curveball.

    And maybe the weirdest thing about saying all that above is that I've always thought everyone else cataloged all of those things early in life, and my upbringing was to blame. I've thought that if I just kept cataloging things I could catch up and be normal. So this whole thing has been a huge upheaval to my psyche. Now I'm questioning everything I thought I knew.

    Thinx, thank you for this in particular. <3

    And here I am surprised at how much I've written. lol I guess I needed to talk.

    Thanks again.
     
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  12. Jade Baggins-Clark

    Jade Baggins-Clark New Member

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    Yes, me too. I went the opposite way with my kids. Feeling like you about "The Social Rule Book" and that my Mum didn't teach me anything about humankind and life I have gone overboard. My beautiful kids (and husband) are reasonably understanding of my need to go into great depth on any topic. I do try to stop myself, I don't want them to get sick and tired of me :)
     
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  13. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi and welcome to the Forums

    Do hang around a bit and you can pick up a lot so tips, and experience from others.
     
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