Timing

[hurtloam]

What I find difficult is when I like someone I just want to say it straight out, but my timing always seems to be wrong. Like it's too soon, they don't know me so well and are cautious. There must be something in my demeanor that says "this girl wants a serious relationship" and men seem to feel like if they get involved with me then they have to commit to me completely, so instead, they run away. Weird thing is it's not like I'm asking them to marry me, all I want is just to spend more time with them, but they run away.

I don't blurt out "I love you", before anyone asks, that would be stupid. I just try and spend more time with them. Invite them places with other friends, but even that is too scary. One of my friends says, "well that means he's just not that into you." but they never are.

Maybe I'm not a very warm person. Maybe my approach to dating is too business like or something. I don't know. Anyone else have any similar problems and what do you do about it?

 

[Nitro]

I dated most of my life...it is a game that really doesn't follow many rules
It seems the best relationships just happen when the time is right

 

[Judge]

Maybe I'm not a very warm person. Maybe my approach to dating is too business like or something. I don't know. Anyone else have any similar problems and what do you do about it?

I always figured someone worth dating would be worth being friends with first. It's how all my relationships happened. I've only had one "date" with someone I really didn't know. It ended badly.

I've never wanted to approach any relationship like a "game" so often intrinsic to dating. But yes, timing can be important in terms of what to say or not say. That never changes IMO.

 

[hurtloam]

No single men even want to be friends with me though.

 

[Randomperson]

No single men even want to be friends with me though.

If you do not mind that I am emotionally retarded (scored terribly low on an emotional IQ test) and live in North Dakota I will gladly be your friend. For the record I am a single male with very few friends, so I can always use another good friend. (okay 1 good friend, maybe a second, not sure yet).

Anyway, probably just me being contrary as usual, but hey I will always seek to proof broad statements like "no single men ever want to be friends with me" wrong, because while I may not have lots of friends, I am an exceptionally friendly person in my own opinion.

 

[hurtloam]

Ok I will admit that was a broad generalisation and therefore technically inacurate

I live in the UK, the only thing i know about Dakota is that Doris Day sang a song about the black hills of Dakota...

 

[Peace]

We can use all of the words we want to describe what we are feeling, but it seems to come down to the same thing. Many of us are lonely and would like to find another person we connect with. By nature we are attracted to more than one other person, but there are many factors that come into play. I have met girls that I felt no attraction towards, but grew to really like them and even dated after a while. Timing, mood, past experiences and many other things play a role in attraction and chemistry between two people.
True relationships are ones that you do not have to try to make happen, they just happen and usually when you least expect it. Some of us have many opportunities and some of us (like me) have very few.
Like Randomperson, I would love to have a friend. I have tried many times on here to find a connection with someone and it has not happened. I will keep trying however and when it does, it will all be worth while.
My hope is that we all find someone.

 

[Judge]

True relationships are ones that you do not have to try to make happen, they just happen and usually when you least expect it. Some of us have many opportunities and some of us (like me) have very few.

Well said! And very true from my perspective.

 

[Randomperson]

Ok I will admit that was a broad generalisation and therefore technically inacurate

I live in the UK, the only thing i know about Dakota is that Doris Day sang a song about the black hills of Dakota...

The black hills would be south of me, in south dakota, all we have in north dakota are the badlands and a nearly 100% alcoholism rate starting around middle school till they drink themselves to death in their 50s. On the bright side living around so many alcohol addicts granted me enough common sense never to drink the crap myself.