The Reasons Behind Interests

[bentHnau]

As I was reading an article about the differences between people on the spectrum and those who are not, I was a bit dumbfounded to come across a statement to the effect that people on the spectrum tend to be interested in hobbies for their own sake, whereas non-spectrumites tend to pursue hobbies for the social opportunities they provide.

Really? I don't know how to interpret that except to conclude that such people aren't genuinely interested in their hobbies. How is something truly an interest if it isn't appreciated for it's own sake? It would be a mere tool, a means to an end. It poses a question as to the very meaning of "interest."

On the other hand, this alleged tendency seems a bit too scheming to be believable as widespread. Why bother with an interest just to socialize, especially if it requires money? Why not just seek out socialization directly?

 

[King_Oni]

Heh, that's quite puzzling to me as well.

Granted, I have a few interests that I can do socially and if I wish so, I will do this with other people, but it's not the reason I get into these things.

On the other hand, some interests do require someone else to actually do it more efficiently. I do have a slight interest in board games and such. It's not a lot of fun to do them by myself. You actually need others. But perhaps I'm still doing it for self-interest and indulgence to include others. I'm not doing it to score "socialite points" or something of that nature.

Another one of my interests and hobbies; music and recording. I've played in a few bands in the past and I've spoken to plenty of people who did or wanted to. Some just wanted to become singer in a band, because it made them more popular. IMO worst reason to get into music, but hey.. to each their own I guess.

Without wanting to look down (or outright bash) people who don't do it for genuine interest... it just doesn't make sense to me in any way. It makes me wonder if people who do this for social opportunities don't have any interests at all. Is their interest to rank highest on the social scoreboard? I mean, if that's enjoyable for them, fine... it just would seem odd this is actually way more common.

On the other hand, thinking about it, interests and doing them as a social motivation might fit perfectly in line why some people boast about their interests, especially if it's something materialistic. John has an interest in cars, and so does Pete; and thus the struggle starts who has the biggest car. For what? Exactly, to be the cool kid on the block and be socially accepted.

 

[Axeman52]

I find that really weird, but it would explain a lot about why sometimes friendships I've had with people who I share a common interest with sometimes ended badly. I try to take part in social activities because it is absolutely necessary if I want to get more opportunities to work on musical projects. I can't imagine doing things any other way.

 

[faithmclaine]

Very strange

 

[wyverary]

I think what would be more accurate to say would be that an NT's special interests might be more likely to be *sparked* socially, and perhaps give them a little impetus to continue; but to say they do it merely for "social opportunities" does a disservice to almost every NT I know who is devoted to a hobby or interest or skillset.

 

[Vanilla]

I also find this strange, but if you think about it it does make sense. How many times have you tried to discuss an interest, only to find they don't want to talk about it, and change the subject to more socially acceptable topics of conversation? I agree with Wyv, in that NTs are quite focused on social aspects, which is not a bad thing, it's simply how they are. In saying that, not all NTs are like this, just as not all Aspies are the same.

 

[Berianireth]

What wyverary said makes sense to me. Why would anyone assume that people on the spectrum have no social motivation though? Isn't is common knowledge that we struggle with communicating effectively and finding reward in interactions rather than being people that have no interest in social situations? I would say I have much lower interest in most social situations than average, but settings that offer an opportunity to engage in pursuit of my interests sound more positive to me and I'd be thrilled if they led to an actual conversation with someone. I'm used to dead ends.
I've always seen people that discuss interests of theirs in great length as possible on the spectrum. I try not to judge of course...

 

[Daniel]

I find that really weird, but it would explain a lot about why sometimes friendships I've had with people who I share a common interest with sometimes ended badly. I try to take part in social activities because it is absolutely necessary if I want to get more opportunities to work on musical projects. I can't imagine doing things any other way.

I also make music. I'm warming up to making music with other people. At the moment, I have two people who have expressed interest in me producing their recordings.

Typically, I make music for me, and share it with others only if they bring it up. I'm back writing and recording again after a long absence. I just noticed that it's been eight years since I worked with anyone else or even finished a recording of my own. (Not coincidentally, that encompasses my entire marriage, recently ended...) Anyway, I'm open to the idea of working with other people again.

I've always enjoyed musicians' description of Frank Zappa--how once the session or rehearsal or gig was over, that was it. They thought it was strange that he was never interested in socializing with them.

A few months ago, one of the guys interested in having me work with him invited me to a recording session for one of his tunes. For them, it was fun to just hang out, drink beers and listen. I didn't know any of them, and I got really bored after two takes, so I finished my beer and took my leave. (Didn't help that I was going through a really rough emotional period, but being there didn't make me feel any better.)

I explained that I like making music more than I like watching other people make music! But for them, "the hang" was a part of the fun. My friend thought it would be fun for me, too. This thread is helping me understand why he would have.

 

[artfull dodger]

Well, my main hobby of model trains can be as solitary or social as I can withstand. I can practice my hobby alone at home, only having to be social at swap meets. The coming of the internet and Ebay can even do away with those swap meets if I wanted to. But I also belong to a small club that has its own train layout. Not a huge group so I do well, espicaly since we all share that same special interest of mine. The same goes for my antique garden tractors, I can go to plowing meets, like in my avatar pic, and keep to myself out in the field plowing on my tractor, or I can socialize if I feel like it with the few folks I might know. I tend to keep to the alone side of my hobbies, keeping the socializing to a bare min. Mike

 

[Daniel]

What wyverary said makes sense to me. Why would anyone assume that people on the spectrum have no social motivation though? Isn't is common knowledge that we struggle with communicating effectively and finding reward in interactions rather than being people that have no interest in social situations? I would say I have much lower interest in most social situations than average, but settings that offer an opportunity to engage in pursuit of my interests sound more positive to me and I'd be thrilled if they led to an actual conversation with someone. I'm used to dead ends.
I've always seen people that discuss interests of theirs in great length as possible on the spectrum. I try not to judge of course...

To be honest, I've found that knowledge of the spectrum is not common, especially for adults.

I'm a little different though... I communicate well, but I've been depressed for a while and have actually had no interest in social situations! And I definitely do the "great length" thing.

I must say, I don't think I was aware of how depressed I've been until now. I'm glad I found this thread!

 

[Berianireth]

So perhaps I'm not being a complete dope after all about those people.
I hate depression. It ruins most of my attempts at fitting in socially.

 

[Axeman52]

I've always enjoyed musicians' description of Frank Zappa--how once the session or rehearsal or gig was over, that was it. They thought it was strange that he was never interested in socializing with them.

Yep, I'm quite a lot like that. I really try to be sociable as I recognise the fact that if I want to be able to play in bands with people I have to be somewhat sociable in order to find them and make them want to work with me at all. It seems like something I was kind of semi aware of this thread has simply helped me to understand - Maybe the reason why people have such positive things to say about my musical abilities, yet never seem to be willing to work with me, is because I don't participate in the social activities that are important to them?

 

[King_Oni]

Interesting how more people bring up music in this thread.

I think the entire "having to be social" part is enough of a deterrent for me that I rather not make music than do it with others. But then again, there still is the entire solo thing, which I have enjoyed a lot more. Too many factors that are part of this social protocol; the least troublesome being to communicate effectively.

Though the Zappa thing Daniel described does sound like me as well. I remember a gig once. We were done playing, went around asking my bandmates if anything else was up and left after I was done packing. I don't even care that much to see other people play or stick around at a gig. Clearly such behavior doesn't really make your band one that "supports the local scene".. but I'm not doing music for that anyway.

Rehearsals were somewhat the same. Come in at a certain time, rehearse with the minimum amount of breaks and pack when our time is up for the rented rehearsal space. But I guess I've been quite a dictator and quite impossible at times, getting in arguments with smoking bandmembers, who, because of rules couldn't smoke in the room where we rehearsed, but had to use the break room. I ended up telling some to just either quit smoking or quit the band because it's wasting my time. Similarly I remember checking out a new band once cause they offered me a shot in joining. When their 4 hours of rehearsal time on a weekend were not efficiently spent (but rather with drinking and smoking pot) I kindly showed myself out (and it had nothing to do with indulging in any of them, but merely over the fact that the only smoke I want to see is smoke from shredding so fast on your guitar it's near combustion; alright, that's an exaggeration, lol).

The thing for me is; if I'm on my own clock and dime, I don't care how much I procrastinate. I haven't done anything with music in the past few months. But the moment I have to spend time and money to make it a group thing, it better be a highly motivated and obsessed bunch living and breathing any project we have going on. I remember someone once compared me to a cult leader because of such a "work ethic".

But alas; I'm happy not engaging with others for musical projects. I have my reasons for doing so; but in all honesty, I don't know if that's actually an aspie thing in me or if it's personality.

 

[Daniel]

Interesting how more people bring up music in this thread.

I think the entire "having to be social" part is enough of a deterrent for me that I rather not make music than do it with others. But then again, there still is the entire solo thing, which I have enjoyed a lot more. Too many factors that are part of this social protocol; the least troublesome being to communicate effectively.

Getting more abstract here... Music has a huge social component to it--at least, if you want other people to hear it! My motivation for learning as many instruments as possible has been precisely so I wouldn't have to rely on other people to create the music I wanted to hear.

I just read Quiet by Susan Cain, which defends introverts and their ways in a Western culture that prizes extroversion. She observes that in music schools, it's the students who spend more of their time on solitary practice that end up becoming world-class performers. The ones who practice in groups tend to end up being music teachers.

I'm going to try being more social with music again. And it's funny, I think I'm actually going to use music as a means of connecting with people. I can't believe I just wrote that!

 

[King_Oni]

My motivation for learning as many instruments as possible has been precisely so I wouldn't have to rely on other people to create the music I wanted to hear.!

That's the reason I picked up a guitar, so I can relate to this sentiment a lot

 

[Daniel]

Here's another one--I like playing sports, and I'm thinking about taking lessons for something and playing regularly. I like baseball, tennis and golf.

Baseball--you need a bunch of people to play. Or to practice, you need at least one other person. My sister has taken up softball, so that might be something I can do. I don't need to play in a game to enjoy it. I love batting practice, playing catch, and taking grounders and fly balls.

Tennis--I can take lessons, which I've always wanted to do, but beyond that, you need another person to play with. I'd basically have to pay to play.

Golf--leaning towards this. Like music, you need solitary, devoted practice to get good. Like music, it can also be a social glue. Ultimately, with golf, your opponents are the course and yourself. You can go out and play nine holes, and you don't need anyone else. But you can also go out with someone else or a group, and have a good time. And in Ontario, you can drink alcohol while you play!

There's also a halo effect with golf, as was explained to me once. If someone's good at golf, it is assumed that they are an intelligent person and a good businessman. Getting into golf is actually a great career move.

 

[Andy R]

I think the quote in the original post is a gross generalisation, however I can certainly see that it may be correct.

On the subject of sport, I am a very active person but everything I do is solo and is based on endurance and pushing myself beyond the limits of my abilities. Therefore I don't compete with others, only myself.

 

[KassieMac]

Golf--leaning towards this. Like music, you need solitary, devoted practice to get good. Like music, it can also be a social glue. Ultimately, with golf, your opponents are the course and yourself. You can go out and play nine holes, and you don't need anyone else. But you can also go out with someone else or a group, and have a good time. And in Ontario, you can drink alcohol while you play!

Daniel, have you ever seen The Legend of Bagger Vance? It's an amazing, incredible movie that makes some of the points you've stated above … but also uses golf as a metaphor for life. I found myself rewatching it recently, as it always seems to bring me peace. If you do watch it (or have already seen it) I'd love to hear your thoughts.

 

[Daniel]

Daniel, have you ever seen The Legend of Bagger Vance? It's an amazing, incredible movie that makes some of the points you've stated above … but also uses golf as a metaphor for life. I found myself rewatching it recently, as it always seems to bring me peace. If you do watch it (or have already seen it) I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Going to give it a watch--thanks for the recommendation!

 

[abby normal]

Getting more abstract here... Music has a huge social component to it--at least, if you want other people to hear it! My motivation for learning as many instruments as possible has been precisely so I wouldn't have to rely on other people to create the music I wanted to hear.

I just read Quiet by Susan Cain, which defends introverts and their ways in a Western culture that prizes extroversion. She observes that in music schools, it's the students who spend more of their time on solitary practice that end up becoming world-class performers. The ones who practice in groups tend to end up being music teachers.

I'm going to try being more social with music again. And it's funny, I think I'm actually going to use music as a means of connecting with people. I can't believe I just wrote that!

this world needs more GOOD music teachers. my last experience with a music teacher was them asking if I was an athlete and then asking me to demonstrate multitasking skills via physical tests [rub head/pat belly and switch hands rapidly without a hitch, or "quads" tapping feet and patting hands in circles then reversing without a hitch] and failing miserably at such, only to be told I was wasting everybody's time because only people who are athletic and have fluent multitasking skills can be good musicians. I can see how she was probably right because I don't know how a drummer or an organist can do what they do without being able to multitask [each limb has its own brain section running it without interference from other parts].