The double meltdown

[Hedgehog Instigator]

This is starting to become common with the current boyfriend. We're both diagnosed. When he starts having stimulus issues he gets very talkative and tells me all the things I'm doing to trigger him. The onslaught of information paired with its negative nature triggers me. So I have a meltdown, making him feel more helpless. He's trying to avoid melting down so he starts getting frantic leaving the room. Fiddling with small things he can control, trying in vein to communicate with me. He wants me to interact with him and leave him alone simultaneously, I am on the same page I want tons of attention but don't talk to me or touch me. I have other issues where just ending the date whelms up some old trauma. We are both hurting and want not to be but it seems like we keep making life worse for each other. He feels like he doesn't have the right words and I feel like I don't have the right actions.

 

[Persephone_]

Hello dear,

Did you ever tried for professional help? Or can you avoid the things that triggers this situation? I am not sure I can tell you anything that might offer you some comfort, but perhaps other people here might have some similar situations to share with you!

Hope you have a great day!!

 

[paloftoon]

Yikes! This doesn't sound like a compatible match-up behaviorly speaking. Since you both seem to like each other though, you both would have to work on modifying your quirks enough so that you both can begin to tolerate each other.