The art I used to do

[Gift2humanity]

A black cloud of depression and anxiety descended on me over a decade ago.
Before this drugs was what kept me going.
I did not discover I had artistic talent until my 30s and I attended an evening class.
My artist ex-boyfriend, at the time bought me a black leather case to put my artwork in. This black leather case has not been open for quite some time.
Sadly my best photo realistic drawings and paintings I’ve been lost forever but I have kept some art. The black case has been gathering dust.
I was talking about art The other day and was asked to show some but I could not face looking in black leather case with my outworking so I said I had none.
The only person that I have done in the last several years shows how I have deteriorated due to lack of practice. This was a doodle.
I attended an online mental health support group where activities are included and somehow I found myself promising I would try doing some art. I suddenly remembered I had The doodle mentioned above down between the Settee and the wall which I got out and showed the group members via zoom.
The group soon to lift my mood and I do not want today to end because insomniac fitful sleep followed by dark thoughts I’m starting the day with fear and dread follows.
I have uploaded 10 pieces and will start a new thread to upload three more and a poem about depression which I wrote years ago as I like poetry.
I don’t think I could’ve done this any other day as it would’ve made me cry probably.
A couple I know but me and nice set of felt tip pens for Christmas and I was so low I refused them but they refused to take them back.
I hope my mood is buoyant enough to do some art for next thursdays group.
PS I am sorry for the random capitals I am in bed on my iPad using speech to text and I have not figured out why certain words start with a capital and I don’t want them to but I will eventually. Anyway he is the pictures.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Here are the other pieces and the poem. There are more than three pieces as mentioned in the earlier post. I am sorry that some of the pieces are sideways as I do not know how to rotate.
The purple and yellow flower is my latest attempt to digital art and you can see how out of practice I am.

 

[Sherlock77]

@Gift2humanity

Nice work, I would encourage you to start doing artwork again, it sounds like you have?

It is an excellent way to deal with times like this, any difficult times, even the good times

 

[SimonSays]

Interesting. Who's the kid and the woman?

 

[Gift2humanity]

Interesting. Who's the kid and the woman?

Some people from my old life.

 

[SimonSays]

I think I like the one of the kid the best.
Shows talent.
Although I like the bear too.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I think I like the one of the kid the best.
Shows talent.
Although I like the bear too.

The bear is a collage of a furry teddy bear.
My college evening class art tutor showed us how to make nice things out of throwaway magazines.
My artist ex boyfriend showed me how to "square up" as the photo was small, my mum thought it was brilliant.
I did one of a girl, but made a funny error, her nose was like a boxer.
Hahahahah her dad said when he saw it, as a joke "gah! I will have to go and punch her nose now so it looks like that-hahahahah
I did a face portrait in class at college, cheated as only did half, couldn't get other half right. The tutor gave me confidence, he said shame I didnt do all of her face as it was very sensitively drawn in pencil, I love pencil.
BIG HEAD me, sorry my confidence is on the ground. He held up a gouache piece of mine as exemplary, it was a chrome tyre tool against some fruit, still life, shame I lost a lot of college stuff, if I say so myself it was good.
When my ex and me first met, I wanted "to be like him" I was jealous, hence me joining art class. School teacher liked my art but didnt teach us the basics. (not his fault, syllabus)
My ex noticed a big improvement.
A book called "Drawing from the right side of the brain" helped me.
Cheeky lad at college used to dip his brush in my pallet as I was accurate colour mixer.

 

[Gift2humanity]

@Gift2humanity

Nice work, I would encourage you to start doing artwork again, it sounds like you have?

It is an excellent way to deal with times like this, any difficult times, even the good times

I have to do some art for the Group next week. The art I do now is not a patch on what I did, but I will still try, group will not judge.

 

[SimonSays]

Cheeky lad at college used to dip his brush in my pallet as I was accurate colour mixer.

That almost sounds like a euphemism. Dip his brush in my pallet...

 

[Primrose]

I like your art!

 

[Gift2humanity]

That almost sounds like a euphemism. Dip his brush in my pallet...

Oh like an innuendo, had to look up euphemism. hahah

 

[Gift2humanity]

Core blimey I am rusty he is another little piece I did today and inflated it. I might add more to it I need to turn the page and have made mistakes but I should keep on with this one.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Done a bit more, No chuffed with it but glad I did some art today. It looks a bit like a creature.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I need to learn "command of line" for those graceful swirls and curves I am trying to achieve.
I could do with knowing how to compose, where to put my "forms"
I hope I can do more tomorrow.

 

[Streetwise]

Done a bit more, No chuffed with it but glad I did some art today. It looks a bit like a creature.View attachment 66465

It's interesting,I like adult colouring books and water colour pencils to colour with most of the time

 

[Gift2humanity]

It's good, you'll get it back. Don't be so hard on yourself with this, the eyes and fingers never really forget.

I never ever learnt to do that type of app from my imagination I hope it’s not too late start.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Well I want to doodle daily as it is alleged to improve mental health.

I didn’t do a daily doodle yesterday.
I did begin to write a story, years ago, but that got ripped up during a fairly recent melt down.
I had to try and retrieve it from my memory last night/early hours. It was online but it looks like it’s been archived.

I did do a doodle today. I usually start a new page when I mess it up but I’ve stopped that now, messed up or not, I carry on a bit disheartened.

Sick of sketchpads full of the very beginnings of doodles on pages, messed up, waste of a pad.

I think it relaxed me however I was getting intrusive thoughts during it and sometimes responding out loud to them.

I don’t know how long it takes to develop the ability to draw graceful lines. To develop the imagination in order to know where are you are going to put shapes and forms so the drawing does not look like a five-year-old has done it.
Still at least I can say I’ve done something today.

Something feels wrong about doodling daily just for the sake of it, yet aimlessly surfing the net, or, watching prison, and other dark videos on YouTube, feels wrong as well.
I like being on the net if I’m learning something, for example I started to learn a bit of digital art today.
I also like coming on here, helping people, or seeking advice. Anything productive.

 

[Sherlock77]

Well I want to doodle daily as it is alleged to improve mental health.

I didn’t do a daily doodle yesterday.

...
View attachment 66483

I think the reason why anything creative is good for mental health is that it either helps you process or express the emotion, or it can also be a break from what you're dealing with

At the same time don't pressure yourself, I'm guilty of that in my photography, just let it flow... Admittedly right now I go for a photo walk every day, but it's mostly for the walk part of it, getting out of my place into fresh air and the exercise, whatever photos I get are just a bonus really...

 

[Gift2humanity]

I think the reason why anything creative is good for mental health is that it either helps you process or express the emotion, or it can also be a break from what you're dealing with

At the same time don't pressure yourself, I'm guilty of that in my photography, just let it flow... Admittedly right now I go for a photo walk every day, but it's mostly for the walk part of it, getting out of my place into fresh air and the exercise, whatever photos I get are just a bonus really...

I see what you mean.
I messed the picture up early on, but as I said, I did not want to waste it, remembering all the pages of books with the beginnings of drawings on. I didn't feel jittery or nervous while doing it, just negative, but still pressed on as I heard doodling can improve focus and relieve stress, yet I found myself talking to past adversaries out loud, (good job I live alone)

I found myself having intrusive thoughts, I remember getting these if I am doing a boring task, and I still pressed on with the "messed up" picture which I was bored with, maybe that is why the intrusive thoughts came.

I am glad you are going out walking, and don't mind if you don't get any photos. Getting a smartphone made me discover I liked outdoor photography a few years ago before I became housebound.
I'd take photos of birds, scaffolding, supermarket baskets piled on top of each other, forming a geometric pattern and all sorts, flowers, etc.

 

[Sherlock77]

And... You should consider uploading some of your artwork in the media section of the forum, not that many people pay attention to it, there is tab for that on the top of the screen...