Talking to two people.

[Tony Ramirez]

I am getting much better talking to just one person one on one. However, add another person in the mix and it all falls apart. They end up domineering the conversation and I can only get a few words in.

Has this happened to anyone else?

 

[Judge]

Sure. Focusing on one person speaking is difficult enough at times. Add just one other person and yes, for a number of us it all "goes to hell in a hand basket". Worse perhaps with a lot of background noises happening.

To me it's a special kind of multitasking to be able to effectively follow multiple conversations at the same time.

Another reason not to like attending parties. Where I just try to fake it, knowing that no one is going to test me on what was said or understood.

 

[tducey]

I prefer one on one conversation too. I find it so much easier.

 

[Thinx]

Yes one to one is easier. It can work if the 2 others are both your friends? But it's more tricky. You are good at persevering and managing your anxiety about this! One to one discussion is actually more enjoyable though, I think.

 

[GadAbout]

Agree to all of the above

 

[Rasputin]

Yes, this happens to me also. Someone says something, and I wait for the person to finish talking so I can speak. Then someone else jumps in, and before I know it the conversation moves to another topic. And I end up sitting there saying nothing. The key, I guess, is to just jump in to the discussion. I am not good at this.

If there are two or more conversations going at the same time, I am completely lost. The conversations blend together, and I can't understand what anyone is saying.

 

[Progster]

Yes, all the time. Also, this:

Someone says something, and I wait for the person to finish talking so I can speak. Then someone else jumps in, and before I know it the conversation moves to another topic. And I end up sitting there saying nothing. The key, I guess, is to just jump in to the discussion. I am not good at this.

One to one is ok, but I can't do groups, I never get a chance to speak and just end up sitting there saying nothing, so I switch off and stop following and get bored after a while. It's like I can't process the conversation in time to react and join in.

 

[Raggamuffin]

1 to 1 I talk a lot. Add another into the mix and I'm mute. If I know them really well then I might be a bit more vocal.

Too many variables in large groups of people. I've gotten better with practice, but it's exhausting being social and I do it rarely.

Ed

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My friend Justin notice that I don't socialize as well with two or more people. He said to ask questions like "How was your day" the problem is that the topics change so fast that it is hard to keep track. When I just talk to one person however the topics don't change as much which makes talking easier.

 

[Progster]

My friend Justin notice that I don't socialize as well with two or more people. He said to ask questions like "How was your day" the problem is that the topics change so fast that it is hard to keep track. When I just talk to one person however the topics don't change as much which makes talking easier.

Yes, the topics change so fast that I'm still on a topic long after it moved on to something else, and people's reactions are so fast and somehow fluid, where I'm still processing and figuring out what to say - or nothing comes to me to say. When you talk to one person, that person will accommodate you and wait for you to speak, a group never will.

 

[FreeDiver]

What's really bad about this is that it not just a "three is a crowd" situation you have to try to compete with. But you also have to compete with the Cellphone as well. There's nothing more annoying then to have a one on one chat, only to have it interrupted by their phone. In fact, it has gotten so bad with me that I now carry a short-range Cellphone jammer in my pocket and turn it on when I don't want to be interrupted by their phone.

 

[Nervous Rex]

It’s kind of validating to see how many people struggle the exact same way I do. The more social and less formal a gathering is, the harder it is for me to get a word in edgewise. The conversation moves faster than I can keep up.

And I don’t know why, but it seems like every time I try to say something, someone else talks over me or interrupts. When that happens, I just give up on the conversation and remain silent the rest of the time.

 

[Progster]

And I don’t know why, but it seems like every time I try to say something, someone else talks over me or interrupts. When that happens, I just give up on the conversation and remain silent the rest of the time.

Same here. I feel like I don't have a voice in social group conversations. I also find it hard to follow a conversation when there is background noise, and it the group is in a cafe or restaurant, there usually is noise. I have no presence and I might as well not be there and stay at home. At least at home I won't be bored.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

The girl I have been talking to at the Seconds course said that she has social anxiety too when talking to more than a few people. I told her and the group I suffer from social anxiety too and they said I am doing a good job speaking up. I am surprised that even non Aspie people suffer from social anxiety.

I have no presence and I might as well not be there and stay at home. At least at home I won't be bored.

I am too board to stay at home, matter of fact I don't like the nights which is most when I don't go out to socialize with the Church groups.