Surviving b-days and holidays

[Ame568]

Sorry for posting so much lately but I was thinking of my birthday and how fast it's approaching (it's in October) as well as Thanksgiving and Christmas and was wondering if you guys have any tips that I could use this year. I dread my b-day for multiple reasons but that day, along with Thanksgiving and Christmas, disrupts my daily routine. Also it makes me upset because my family will ask me to make a b-day and Christmas list BUT they get NOTHING off of them so it's like "what's the point?" Then I have to lie even more about liking the gift and it's just all so much. Usually on Christmas I cry (but this last year I shut down instead) and end up crashing after we (my mom, dad and I) leave my grandma's for the first time. (We open presents, come home, do whatever then go back for dinner.) Sorry I didn't mean to rant.... Anyway what are some things you guys suggest?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Are you saying you are mad because they don't get you what you put on your list?

 

[unperson]

Try a 'no presents' pact, say you are saving up - they probably have better things to do with their money too.

 

[savi83]

Sorry for posting so much lately but I was thinking of my birthday and how fast it's approaching (it's in October) as well as Thanksgiving and Christmas and was wondering if you guys have any tips that I could use this year. I dread my b-day for multiple reasons but that day, along with Thanksgiving and Christmas, disrupts my daily routine. Also it makes me upset because my family will ask me to make a b-day and Christmas list BUT they get NOTHING off of them so it's like "what's the point?" Then I have to lie even more about liking the gift and it's just all so much. Usually on Christmas I cry (but this last year I shut down instead) and end up crashing after we (my mom, dad and I) leave my grandma's for the first time. (We open presents, come home, do whatever then go back for dinner.) Sorry I didn't mean to rant.... Anyway what are some things you guys suggest?

I am not a fan of these types of events, they just feel forced, and make me feel awkward and drained. The only relief is when it's over, and then it's starts over again.

I tried to go down the whole no presents pact route, but it failed miserably as I have a younger sister and everyone felt that it would be unfair on her and everyone should make the effort.

I find shopping for "special" occasions difficult, I tend to pick up practical gifts as I go along. Holding onto things seems to be unnecessary and I feel that I'm giving the gift more for the occasion rather than being thoughtful.

 

[Judge]

I suspect for many of us, such usual and expected social events are something few of us really look forward to. Where we just have to "soldier" through every year. I know it's how I feel as well.

 

[Ame568]

Are you saying you are mad because they don't get you what you put on your list?

Kinda. I appreciate the gifts, I really do but most of them I don't like them and have to lie and say I do. Sorry, I didn't mean for that to be confusing.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

You have no idea how lucky you are. Be grateful for a big family that wants nothing more than to spend time with you, and spend their hard earned resources on you.

 

[KimS]

I think its perfectly okay to dump the traditions that don't work for you and find new ones that do. Personally, I'd rather my loved ones spend time with me instead of wasting money on generic gifts.

Neither my brother or I were big on shopping for presents, so we did it differently. Every year before the holidays, we would take a day off from school/work and go do something fun. As part of the day, we'd go to the mall, get coffee and walk and talk and shop for presents. I'd buy exactly what he wanted, he'd buy what I'd wanted, then we would wrap them up and act surprised Christmas morning. Those days are my best memories of the holiday. The time together meant more than the physical presents.

Nowadays my adult daughter's gift to me is to come down to visit and decorate the house for the holidays. She enjoys it, I get the benefit of the house looking nice and spending time with her. Then we go shopping for the present she has picked out and a nice dinner.

Same with Thanksgiving. I can spend hours cooking or I can pick up takeout and spend the time playing games or hiking or watching movies with my family.

 

[Dadamen]

Simply don't celebrate your birthday. It's completely your choice to celebrate it or not.