This might seem too black and white, I even know it is, but my head keeps spinning around this concept, particularly with my photographic hobby which is what much of my spare time (outside of my fulltime work hours) is spent pursuing... I've been at fairly hard core for over 10 years now...
However I've seen very little success, certainly as defined by the winning and losing, I've lost far more then I have won, I know photographers and creative people whose CV is full of great success, my CV is rather short, not much on it... And I do let that get to my head...
I've had friends tell me that it doesn't really matter, and have read things that say success is simply the setting of goals, and that few goals we set have the concept of winning/finishing first in them, that goals are simply milestones in life, I try to tell myself that, and I'm sure many of you will... But then my head keeps going back to winning and losing, and gets lost there...
A few years ago I pondered that most pro/working artists don't have high profile public recognition, but certainly most have respect within the artistic community, I often feel like I don't even have that respect, at least not much of it, I feel mostly ignored...
I think one reason why I post my photos so much, maybe too much, is because I'm pressing too much, pushing myself too hard, read above...
Yet when I go out to take photos, it relaxes me, makes me feel happy, gives me a real reason to leave the house, it shouldn't matter how much attention I get for it, even if I never share the photos... But then my head keeps going back to winning and losing, and gets lost there... But I still go out to take photos, not sure if I'll ever stop, it's part of what keeps me going...
It seems like a constant battle in my head, maybe many other artists also go through this struggle, maybe my battle seems more pronounced because of being Aspie...
I've had some friends tell me that I'm gifted in photography, even if that's true I've seen very little success from it...
To prove or disprove my point, one photo from last weekend, a guy I met, chatted with for awhile, took a street portrait of him... Haven't posted this one anywhere, you're the first ones to see this one...
However I've seen very little success, certainly as defined by the winning and losing, I've lost far more then I have won, I know photographers and creative people whose CV is full of great success, my CV is rather short, not much on it... And I do let that get to my head...
I've had friends tell me that it doesn't really matter, and have read things that say success is simply the setting of goals, and that few goals we set have the concept of winning/finishing first in them, that goals are simply milestones in life, I try to tell myself that, and I'm sure many of you will... But then my head keeps going back to winning and losing, and gets lost there...
A few years ago I pondered that most pro/working artists don't have high profile public recognition, but certainly most have respect within the artistic community, I often feel like I don't even have that respect, at least not much of it, I feel mostly ignored...
I think one reason why I post my photos so much, maybe too much, is because I'm pressing too much, pushing myself too hard, read above...
Yet when I go out to take photos, it relaxes me, makes me feel happy, gives me a real reason to leave the house, it shouldn't matter how much attention I get for it, even if I never share the photos... But then my head keeps going back to winning and losing, and gets lost there... But I still go out to take photos, not sure if I'll ever stop, it's part of what keeps me going...
It seems like a constant battle in my head, maybe many other artists also go through this struggle, maybe my battle seems more pronounced because of being Aspie...

To prove or disprove my point, one photo from last weekend, a guy I met, chatted with for awhile, took a street portrait of him... Haven't posted this one anywhere, you're the first ones to see this one...

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