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Still waiting for a first date..

Tired said:
I mean sure, if we all could just wish things which church would grunt, there would be no atheists, right?
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I still encounter people who treat prayer like demanding a genie to grant their wishes and they tend to be very unhappy people.
 
Jonathan Lees said:
That sucks to be honest, we all deserve at least the opportunity, you and other people on this thread seem to be coping well with it though which is the most important thing, when you say you have made the first move does that mean you've verbally asked for dates? I'm only just turned 20 so I'm still really young, I have had the odd dates but they rarely amount to much, I rarely find people interesting enough which is a shame,and the only time I was legitimatly interested in someone they mistreated me. I guess I should be glad for the opportunities I have had up to this point. Advice would be to constantly try and meet new people (I know this is difficult but it increases the chance of finding someone special) and try and be clear with people that you are single and looking for relationships otherwise they may assume disinterest. I used to think no one was interested in me but now I realise that I just wasn't picking up on it due to not knowing what to look for because of aspergers and this is probably the case with a lot of aspies,this can lead to a lack of confidence and missing opportunities that defiantly existed but are missed.
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I Fell into this camp, when younger did not know I was on spectrum, see all the missed opportunities now looking back. Married now 45 years two kids self diagnosed. Graduated college before I even started taking looking for a mate seriously. My back story is documented on this forum.
 
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My Nephew, a fellow Aspie I found out recently just got a girlfriend via a dating site His edge was my sister put him in french immersion when is school. she a citizen of french Guyana noticed his profile, got her attention. She even after finding out his mother had an upcoming birthday, planned a birthday party for her just so she could meet the rest of the family. I asked her did she know he was on the spectrum She said yes clue was saw him reading wondered, what it was about looked over his shoulder say a number of complex mathematical equations. So you never know. Looking forward to meeting her again, at family get together for Christmas at one of my brothers place. Should be fun like my sons says like attending Mensa meeting, always interesting. Starting to feel like united Nations.
 
Hello, I am fairly new to this forum. I am 39 I live in West Virginia. I kind of go through long periods of time where I give up on dating. But either after a few months (or a few years) I realize how lonely and unhappy I am always being single.

I have still never been in a relationship or been past a second date before. But I would love to be in a relationship someday. I have not been on a date in awhile. Since 2017 to be honest. It is tough at times. I have struggled a great deal with always being single.

But I am going to try and start putting myself out there online again. I hope I can meet some great people online.
 
Try putting yourself outside religious people. They are too guarded for simple friendships. Trust me. I have been deconstructing now. Looking outside now.
 
velociraptor said:
Welcome to the community. Currently in a quarter century long relationship that is suffering. Maybe be careful what you wish for. Dark side to everything.
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The greatest struggle in my life has been my frustration over never being in a relationship before. Being in a relationship is really my only goal in life. I rather not hear from people who have achieved this how unhappy they are in it. Imagine reading what you just wrote from my perspective. How does it help me in any way? Imagine someone who is starving to death and your response is "food does not always taste good." Or someone who is painfully poor- "Money doesn't always lead to happiness.

I rather not hear from people like you.
 
Brian39WV said:
The greatest struggle in my life has been my frustration over never being in a relationship before. Being in a relationship is really my only goal in life. I rather not hear from people who have achieved this how unhappy they are in it. Imagine reading what you just wrote from my perspective. How does it help me in any way? Imagine someone who is starving to death and your response is "food does not always taste good." Or someone who is painfully poor- "Money doesn't always lead to happiness.

I rather not hear from people like you.
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If you're unhappy in your current relationship and would rather be single, you can always break up with your partner. If you're unhappy in your current relationship and want to save it, you can go to couples therapy and work with your partner to save it. If you're unhappy in your current relationship and want to save it, but your partner doesn't want to save it, that's unfortunate, but would be indicative of a preference on your part for being in a relationship over being single.

If you're single and have never dated despite being well into adulthood and wanting to for a very long time, the solution is much more difficult to find.

@velociraptor Serious question. If you could go back in time 25 years, would you tell your past self to steer clear of getting with the partner you're currently with and to go without dating, intimacy and romantic relationships for the entire remainder of your life? If the answer to that question is no, why would you think a chronically single person who's wanted to start dating for a long time would find their situation preferable to the prospect of having had a long-term relationship that might be ending?
 
Wizardry said:
If you're unhappy in your current relationship and would rather be single, you can always break up with your partner. If you're unhappy in your current relationship and want to save it, you can go to couples therapy and work with your partner to save it. If you're unhappy in your current relationship and want to save it, but your partner doesn't want to save it, that's unfortunate, but would be indicative of a preference on your part for being in a relationship over being single.

If you're single and have never dated despite being well into adulthood and wanting to for a very long time, the solution is much more difficult to find.

@velociraptor Serious question. If you could go back in time 25 years, would you tell your past self to steer clear of getting with the partner you're currently with and to go without dating, intimacy and romantic relationships for the entire remainder of your life? If the answer to that question is no, why would you think a chronically single person who's wanted to start dating for a long time would find their situation preferable to the prospect of having had a long-term relationship that might be ending?
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I am just going to ignore you going forward.
 
Wizardry said:
Serious question. If you could go back in time 25 years, would you tell your past self to steer clear of getting with the partner you're currently with and to go without dating, intimacy and romantic relationships for the entire remainder of your life? If the answer to that question is no, why would you think a chronically single person who's wanted to start dating for a long time would find their situation preferable to the prospect of having had a long-term relationship that might be ending?
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I don't know. I love her. I'm very tired of the family obligations that came with her. They're exhausting and I feel they are a waste of what I know is my own limited lifespan remaining.

I miss the person she used to be. She used to be fun. Now she spends a lot of time in front of a screen and complains about everything. I'm still in love with the old person. I kind of wonder about the person I am married to now.
 
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