Yes, here I am wishing I was a man so that I could be a parent without having to get pregnant, but if I was a man (but still on the spectrum/ADHD) I might not even be able to find a relationship in order to be able to become a parent.
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Still single
- Thread starter Markness
- Start date
Steelbookcollector217
Active Member
Yeah for people say that men are naturally in default scarcity with women but women naturally are in default abundance with men
If I were NT I'd probably be a mum by now. I understand plenty of autistic women get pregnant and have babies too, but me personally I seem more conscientious than the average woman and am hypersensitive to pain and very squeamish, and it just shatters my confidence in putting my body through such a thing.
Steelbookcollector217
Active Member
Yeah I've had this mindset for years now and it's whenever people and Society say that nobody is owed a relationship.
I feel that applies to men more than women.
I have the mindset that women are the only gender that are owed a relationship.
Due to women always having been on the receiving end of sexual attention
I feel that applies to men more than women.
I have the mindset that women are the only gender that are owed a relationship.
Due to women always having been on the receiving end of sexual attention
Someone who told me that also said I came off as entitled. But this person was in a relationship so it felt condescending to be told those things.
Steelbookcollector217
Active Member
I can agree in that in regards to a house or a job but in regards to relationships it feels like women are owed that because since they are the ones that get pursued and sought after and always have men making advances on them it's like it means that they always have options women are always in abundance
Levitator
Well-Known Member
I wasn't making it about gender, it's just that when you complain about getting left out in the cold in any regard, regardless of gender, for any kind of relationship, or for business or housing, the kneejerk answer you get is "You aren't owed that". Take that as you may.
Cryptid
Only Rumored To Exist
Education, Employment, Housing, and Relationships are all unwritten "rights" we all share.
However, because these things are often provided by people who want something in return, they are also "privileges" granted on a quid-pro-quo arrangement.
The mere fact that you have the "right" to a girlfriend does NOT mean that the "privilege" of having a girlfriend will be automatically granted to you.
You have to work for it -- make yourself attractive to the kind of woman you want to attract.
However, because these things are often provided by people who want something in return, they are also "privileges" granted on a quid-pro-quo arrangement.
The mere fact that you have the "right" to a girlfriend does NOT mean that the "privilege" of having a girlfriend will be automatically granted to you.
You have to work for it -- make yourself attractive to the kind of woman you want to attract.
Steelbookcollector217
Active Member
Remind me of a powerful controversial quote from this book titled the rational male but yeah I've been filled with anger and bitterness and resentment for the past few months now because of a failed relationship I had with my ex which I believe I described already and she didn't feel like a true girlfriend we were incompatible in certain ways in the relationship.
She didn't feel like a true girlfriend due to the fact that she was mostly asexual, I stayed in the relationship longer than I should have because I was hoping that she would eventually change her ways and be more comfortable with sex but unfortunately she didn't.
Even back when I first became depressed about not having a girlfriend when I was 17, I was being told that constantly feeling down wasn’t going to get me into a relationship. I was told I needed to think more positively and l needed to turn my focus to other things but I just couldn’t.
And where are you now, in that regard?
Still fretting over what you were told?
If you are still unable to think positively, a useful
technique is to at least not think negatively.
Levitator
Well-Known Member
Negativity is something to a-void! Two nots add up to a void. Don't not not be negative. It may not be whole, but it's still a hole.
EDIT: Off by one error
I wonder if I caused unintentional self-fulfilling prophecies to happen or if maybe I was doomed from the beginning?
Levitator
Well-Known Member
I'm not being flippant. But I notice people talk about problems with self-control, where they have bad habits that destroy their life. I feel like my actions, I can be disciplined about, and I don't take self-destructive actions, even though others will pick some vice and then lament that they keep doing it.
Ok, so meanwhile, people like to tell me how to feel. That I have no control over. I can't will myself to feel a certain way. I just have to weather it until it passes. But if people kick you until you are down, and then seeing you down just incites further kicking frenzies, then where is the part where you don't feel like you're not being kicked anymore? You can't help feeling it. They're kicking you.
Ok, so meanwhile, people like to tell me how to feel. That I have no control over. I can't will myself to feel a certain way. I just have to weather it until it passes. But if people kick you until you are down, and then seeing you down just incites further kicking frenzies, then where is the part where you don't feel like you're not being kicked anymore? You can't help feeling it. They're kicking you.
Cryptid
Only Rumored To Exist
"Couldn't" or "wouldn't"?
Self-fulfilling prophesy.
What are you DOING to make your life better?
