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Still single

Misty Avich

I prefer not to be referred to as autistic
V.I.P Member
Glad that a woman agrees that dating is harder for men.

Yeah one of my friends from middle school never had a girlfriend until last year at 34 and I have mixed emotions on that and I like to think that if he had been born a woman more than likely he would not have been alone or single that long.

Reminds me of another guy I met at a social Meetup Group who told me who never had a girlfriend until 30
Yes, here I am wishing I was a man so that I could be a parent without having to get pregnant, but if I was a man (but still on the spectrum/ADHD) I might not even be able to find a relationship in order to be able to become a parent.
 
Yes, here I am wishing I was a man so that I could be a parent without having to get pregnant, but if I was a man (but still on the spectrum/ADHD) I might not even be able to find a relationship in order to be able to become a parent.
Yeah for people say that men are naturally in default scarcity with women but women naturally are in default abundance with men
 

Misty Avich

I prefer not to be referred to as autistic
V.I.P Member
If I were NT I'd probably be a mum by now. I understand plenty of autistic women get pregnant and have babies too, but me personally I seem more conscientious than the average woman and am hypersensitive to pain and very squeamish, and it just shatters my confidence in putting my body through such a thing.
 
Yeah I've had this mindset for years now and it's whenever people and Society say that nobody is owed a relationship.

I feel that applies to men more than women.

I have the mindset that women are the only gender that are owed a relationship.

Due to women always having been on the receiving end of sexual attention
 

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
Yeah I've had this mindset for years now and it's whenever people and Society say that nobody is owed a relationship.

I feel that applies to men more than women.

I have the mindset that women are the only gender that are owed a relationship.

Due to women always having been on the receiving end of sexual attention
Someone who told me that also said I came off as entitled. But this person was in a relationship so it felt condescending to be told those things.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Neither sex is "owed" a relationship.

Saying that one sex is "owed" a relationship
is illogical.
 

Levitator

Well-Known Member
Nobody is owed a house. Nobody is owed a job. Nobody is owed wife. Nobody is owed a friend.
These things are all true, and yet, I'll just leave it at that.
 
Nobody is owed a house. Nobody is owed a job. Nobody is owed wife. Nobody is owed a friend.
These things are all true, and yet, I'll just leave it at that.
I can agree in that in regards to a house or a job but in regards to relationships it feels like women are owed that because since they are the ones that get pursued and sought after and always have men making advances on them it's like it means that they always have options women are always in abundance
 

Levitator

Well-Known Member
I can agree in that in regards to a house or a job but in regards to relationships it feels like women are owed that because since they are the ones that get pursued and sought after and always have men making advances on them it's like it means that they always have options women are always in abundance
I wasn't making it about gender, it's just that when you complain about getting left out in the cold in any regard, regardless of gender, for any kind of relationship, or for business or housing, the kneejerk answer you get is "You aren't owed that". Take that as you may.
 

Levitator

Well-Known Member
I probably should have looked at the context better, but in the context of my own life, that's how I hear that comment, and it's upsetting in my own setting. I didn't even read the thread, though, honestly. Sorry.
 

Cryptid

Only Rumored To Exist
Education, Employment, Housing, and Relationships are all unwritten "rights" we all share.

However, because these things are often provided by people who want something in return, they are also "privileges" granted on a quid-pro-quo arrangement.

The mere fact that you have the "right" to a girlfriend does NOT mean that the "privilege" of having a girlfriend will be automatically granted to you.

You have to work for it -- make yourself attractive to the kind of woman you want to attract.
 
Education, Employment, Housing, and Relationships are all unwritten "rights" we all share.

However, because these things are often provided by people who want something in return, they are also "privileges" granted on a quid-pro-quo arrangement.

The mere fact that you have the "right" to a girlfriend does NOT mean that the "privilege" of having a girlfriend will be automatically granted to you.

You have to work for it -- make yourself attractive to the kind of woman you want to attract.
Remind me of a powerful controversial quote from this book titled the rational male but yeah I've been filled with anger and bitterness and resentment for the past few months now because of a failed relationship I had with my ex which I believe I described already and she didn't feel like a true girlfriend we were incompatible in certain ways in the relationship.

She didn't feel like a true girlfriend due to the fact that she was mostly asexual, I stayed in the relationship longer than I should have because I was hoping that she would eventually change her ways and be more comfortable with sex but unfortunately she didn't.
 

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
Even back when I first became depressed about not having a girlfriend when I was 17, I was being told that constantly feeling down wasn’t going to get me into a relationship. I was told I needed to think more positively and l needed to turn my focus to other things but I just couldn’t.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Even back when I first became depressed about not having a girlfriend when I was 17, I was being told that constantly feeling down wasn’t going to get me into a relationship. I was told I needed to think more positively and l needed to turn my focus to other things but I just couldn’t.
And where are you now, in that regard?

Still fretting over what you were told?

If you are still unable to think positively, a useful
technique is to at least not think negatively.
 

Levitator

Well-Known Member
And where are you now, in that regard?

Still fretting over what you were told?

If you are still unable to think positively, a useful
technique is to at least not think negatively.

Negativity is something to a-void! Two nots add up to a void. Don't not not be negative. It may not be whole, but it's still a hole.

EDIT: Off by one error
 

Levitator

Well-Known Member
Discovering my inner Lewis Carroll, I guess. Where's that screwy rabbit, anyway, he's always behind schedule.
 

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
And where are you now, in that regard?

Still fretting over what you were told?

If you are still unable to think positively, a useful
technique is to at least not think negatively.
I wonder if I caused unintentional self-fulfilling prophecies to happen or if maybe I was doomed from the beginning?
 

Levitator

Well-Known Member
I'm not being flippant. But I notice people talk about problems with self-control, where they have bad habits that destroy their life. I feel like my actions, I can be disciplined about, and I don't take self-destructive actions, even though others will pick some vice and then lament that they keep doing it.

Ok, so meanwhile, people like to tell me how to feel. That I have no control over. I can't will myself to feel a certain way. I just have to weather it until it passes. But if people kick you until you are down, and then seeing you down just incites further kicking frenzies, then where is the part where you don't feel like you're not being kicked anymore? You can't help feeling it. They're kicking you.
 

Cryptid

Only Rumored To Exist
Even back when I first became depressed about not having a girlfriend when I was 17, I was being told that constantly feeling down wasn’t going to get me into a relationship. I was told I needed to think more positively and l needed to turn my focus to other things but I just couldn’t.
"Couldn't" or "wouldn't"?
I wonder if I caused unintentional self-fulfilling prophecies to happen or if maybe I was doomed from the beginning?
Self-fulfilling prophesy.

What are you DOING to make your life better?
 

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