Socially Awkward NT dating Male w/ Aspergers HELP w/ the Silence

[Ambi]

I absolutely do disengage when I feel overwhelmed. It helps reset me, regulate me, regain a sense of control. But beyond that, I would advise you research adult relationship attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, stable, and I think there are one or two other mixed types. If two people have different styles, they can cause each other anxiety without even meaning to.

 

[mourn]

I absolutely do disengage when I feel overwhelmed. It helps reset me, regulate me, regain a sense of control. But beyond that, I would advise you research adult relationship attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, stable, and I think there are one or two other mixed types. If two people have different styles, they can cause each other anxiety without even meaning to.

Thanks, I will (^ ^)b

 

[Ambi]

Thanks, I will (^ ^)b

I found out I was anxious style, and always attracted to the opposite - avoidant - which drove me up the wall. I need more reassurance and presence than they could offer - even stable type (my husband) can leave me a bit anxious sometimes, but now that I understand myself, and him, it has helped massively. As for disengagement - I feel really bad about how I have totally abandoned my friends when feeling overwhelmed - I am only just now getting over a long period like that, but I still feel overwhelmed sometimes when they want to call and talk, so I still avoid them some. I think about them all the time, though, and I love them very much.

 

[mourn]

I found out I was anxious style, and always attracted to the opposite - avoidant - which drove me up the wall. I need more reassurance and presence than they could offer - even stable type (my husband) can leave me a bit anxious sometimes, but now that I understand myself, and him, it has helped massively. As for disengagement - I feel really bad about how I have totally abandoned my friends when feeling overwhelmed - I am only just now getting over a long period like that, but I still feel overwhelmed sometimes when they want to call and talk, so I still avoid them some. I think about them all the time, though, and I love them very much.

This actually really helped. Honestly since finding this website I’ve grown to trust that my partner just needs space and isn’t abandoning me. I’ve learned to better understand him and even though we’re still not talking, I feel calm just chilling until we do. I still offer that support if he needs it, but I’m not freaking out as much. Now I have to try and look for help with dealing with the anxiety relationship style that I have. Which I’m doing now. You’ve helped me a lot

I understand, I get that way when I was in my very depressed episode. I’d push people away and avoid socializing, but since coming out of it I’ve opened myself up more to trusting people and welcoming them into my life. So I understand your feel (^ ^)b

 

[Ambi]

This actually really helped. Honestly since finding this website I’ve grown to trust that my partner just needs space and isn’t abandoning me. I’ve learned to better understand him and even though we’re still not talking, I feel calm just chilling until we do. I still offer that support if he needs it, but I’m not freaking out as much. Now I have to try and look for help with dealing with the anxiety relationship style that I have. Which I’m doing now. You’ve helped me a lot

I understand, I get that way when I was in my very depressed episode. I’d push people away and avoid socializing, but since coming out of it I’ve opened myself up more to trusting people and welcoming them into my life. So I understand your feel (^ ^)b

I'm so glad It all gets better. I am trying to learn to be more available for my husband and my friends.

 

[Savvy]

Hello Mourn, it's a few months after our last post, I recently joined and am curious how things turned out for you. I am in a similar situation with my SO of 2 years....He has een silet for 2 and a half w

 

[Savvy]

Oops, keyboard missing keys, he has been silent for 2 and a half weeks...