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Social Anxiety?

superboyian

Former Co-Owner
V.I.P Member
Does anyone often feel like they got social anxiety because sometimes I feel I have got social anxieties, I can't barely talk to any stranger without feeling weird and awkward and otherwise quite scared yet online I'm definitely alright, its more like general talking with new people but I've always somehow managed to get over it and make new friends I guess?

But then again, it's not as bad as it was when I was about 16.

And last week I went to a party and the first thing I had in my head was constant panic and rush but at the same time, I tried not to show it but it seems that it didn't go so well. :lol2

But then I did eventually start getting used to it, but why is this even happening?

Is it a possibility I could have social anxiety?
 
Social Anxiety would be a part of AS/Autism but you can also be diagnosed with Social Anxiety on its own without having Autism. I am generally alright around friends but I do get anxious in social situations sometimes, especially with people whom I do not know well.
 
I suffered extreme social anxiety when I was in school. I still do, but to a lesser degree. It's affected many aspects of my life in a negative way, and is certainly the worst co-morbid problem that I have with my ASD. I used to think that I simply suffered from social anxiety, but no - that didn't explain my strange thought patterns or why I "stimmed" (which I, a few years ago, couldn't even pin a name to).
 
I feel like I have social anxiety. I missed a lot of school when I was younger because I didn't want to interact with people. I have even missed important college classes leading me to drop out of college. Also I have missed work, and important appointments due to that as well. It gets so bad I don't want to call anyone, avoid the few friends I have or my family, and find it hard to leave my place isolating myself to my apartment with my son. It sends me into a deep depression sometimes.
 
I have noticed I tend to have more anxiety when I'm already stressed...I do not recall having much social anxiety when I was younger, I am not sure I really paid much attention to the fact that other people were around. Now there are days where I do feel overwhelmed and would prefer solitude, unfortunately I work as a sales person and must socialize with customers and co-workers and my significant other daily. I find a brief period of alone time and some meditation can help me stay calm (on the surface).
 
I get anxious around people, I'm usually the quietest in the group. I don't know what to say most of the time, so that makes me feel uncomfortable until I'm visibly nervous. I went on a day trip with my best friend and his family and extended family. I just followed him around and said hardly anything all day, his mum asked my mum if she'd done something wrong.
 
I have social anxiety that borderlines the extreme. I've had to drop college classes, miss several appointments, etc. In groups of people I never speak; i'm always the quietest. Everyday tasks that most people have no troubles with bother me, such as using the phone, going to stores, even visiting family.
 
I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder, so I definitely do have social anxiety. It has completely incapacitated my life.
 
I have serious social anxiety; not to a very big extreme, like I cancel doctors appoints or something?because my mom/siblings drag me along, but still. I'm usually mute in a social gathering, or even a family gathering, and I usually always decline my friend's offers to go someplace. When I do go somewhere, I usually try and 'hide'. I always have a book with me, so I find some dark corner or quiet room and read by myself. If someone finds me and tries to talk with me, I don't know what to say and I feel very awkward and weird. I get very agitated around people, and when I try not to, I just get agitated at my agitation.
 
I have SAD also, particularly performance anxiety. I also don't know how to act. When I'm working and someone is really sick or tells me they have cancer I have no clue what to tell them. I don't feel anything and I don't know what to say to comfort them. Listening to them makes me feel uncomfortable, moreso than others. I don't want anything bad to happen but I panic because I have no clue what it is that I'm supposed to do, since I don't really "listen". My mind just blocks it out as I beome so inwardly thinking about how I'm supposed to react that I end up not hearing any of the story and nod to everything without having a clue what they're telling me.
 
I have SAD also, particularly performance anxiety. I also don't know how to act. When I'm working and someone is really sick or tells me they have cancer I have no clue what to tell them. I don't feel anything and I don't know what to say to comfort them. Listening to them makes me feel uncomfortable, moreso than others. I don't want anything bad to happen but I panic because I have no clue what it is that I'm supposed to do, since I don't really "listen". My mind just blocks it out as I beome so inwardly thinking about how I'm supposed to react that I end up not hearing any of the story and nod to everything without having a clue what they're telling me.
The parts that I highlighted in bold are parts I can definitely relate to, myself. I have no clue how to act or what to do in situations like that. All I know is that on TV, someone would hug the person & tell them it's okay or something, but all that stuff is so foreign to me & I just find it strange. Doing something like that would make me extremely uncomfortable & I'm not sure it's what I'm supposed to do, anyway. I never know what any given situation calls for which has definitely contributed to my anxiety around people.
 
Has anyone found a way to cope with these sorts of issues?

so far all I've been able to do is suffer through it. This approach is very "sink or swim" and usually ends up with me barely treading water. I haven't died yet, obviously. Lately, due to the arrival of my perfect little boy, we've had people coming from every direction and I just don't know if my hair can take much more stimming or I can deal with much more socialization. Usually, I can just say what I am fairly certain isn't offensive and get by with saying very little... but even then it's the worry about being TOO quiet and all.. I can only plan out so many responses and by the time I get my response planned they've moved on to something else.. and sometimes even the expression I'm attempting to hold is outdated and NOT what is appropriate for what is currently being said. (That is when it gets REALLY awkward..lol)

I really hope someone has some way of coping.. at least with the stress of dealing with this crap all the time.
 
I had terrible social anxiety in school and college, but about a year ago I started going through an audio series called "Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step by Step". It's a bit pricey but ... there are other ways to obtain it (if you know what I mean).

Anyway I found some of the material to be extremely helpful, especially that related to challenging your negative thoughts which cause anxiety (it's based on Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy). So about 6 months after I started I'd say my anxiety had decreased to moderate levels. Basically, now I can go places and do things, but I still have trouble with making small talk and meeting new people. So I will recommend finding some type of CBT-based therapy or self-help.

I also have a book called "The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook" which has some more ideas for Behavioral / Exposure Therapy.
 
I have always had serious social anxiety and still to this day find it difficult to be in large groups or on mass transit because I know if people do or say things that doesn't mesh well with me that things will get Aspiefied really quick.
 
Not usually. Untill this past year, I have been so oblivious to how bad I am at socializing that I never noticed. I will talk to strangers, say way too much, sometimes interrupt conversations, say things that are inappropriate. I am social by nature. But sometimes I find myself in a group, say a little mixer type party, and I have nothing to say and no one I know is nearby, and no one tries to engage me in conversation. I get real anxious, real fast. Now through in a bunch of different peoples, laughing, some music, and I start getting sensory overload. I have to leave. I don't thank the host for inviting me, or say goodbye to a friend, I just leave. I'm socially awkward. How much so depends on a lot of things, like if the conversation topic is something I am interested in, how much noise there is, is it a comfortable place, how tired I am, etc... Some times even if I like the people it's like I can hear every conversation at once and I get panicky and have to get out. At the last party I went to during Christmas, I wanted a non-alcoholic drink, and would have been fine with water, but there were no glasses or cups out, so I left, rather than ask someone where they were. I know people who meet me think I am odd, and sometimes are a little patronizing, but I do like people, and when I am not self-conscious I do have a good time, and I think a few people like me.
 
Conversation interrupter omg I think I'm the king of this and honestly now I start to notice it and I get all anxious as I wait for my turn.
 
I know i have part social anxiety anyway in my aspergers , i got told it was part of aspergers. I cant talk to anyone new in person , i went to nightclubs to try talk to new people every friday for a year and didnt manage to talk to anyone. I can get angry at myself because of it and everything as I really want to talk to them. Yet online im perfectly fine. I just dont know what to say, i dont know if they want me to talk to them, dont know if i will make a fool of myself or when to talk or what to say or anything in person.
 
Strangely I seem to do best around people like Mindwar. If I know they're more afraid than I am, then I start to feel more confident. LoL.

I always want to go DO THINGS and then I end up chickening out, hiding in my room, suddenly "too tired" to go do anything. Like.. hiking sounds fun.. or maybe going to an aspergers meet up here in town... or meditation at the Buddhist temple.. or even to a friends house for dinner. But as soon as I try to get dressed I started hating myself and panicking and coming up with reasons not to go. If I DO manage to force myself I am hysterical and sick feeling most of the time. I am not quiet though. I seem to have trouble shutting up. LoL.
 
I went to nightclubs to try talk to new people every friday for a year and didnt manage to talk to anyone.

I went to nightclubs for years. But only goth/fetish ones where practically everyone is an outcast of some sort. When I have tried going to a "normal" club or a bar, I barely last 10 minutes before I run away. As it is, I would beeline it for the bartender and order two drinks. I would slam the first one, and then start on the 2nd before greeting anyone. I finally just recently stopped going because I realized I pretty much hate it and it was making me into an alcoholic.
 

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