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Share good puns and jokes.

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Metalhead said:
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I want to put down a doormat with a note on the wall saying “Don’t waste your time. There’s no key under the mat,” and underneath the mat is another note that says “I told you there was no key. Why don’t you listen to instructions?” I bet that’d confuse would be burglars and I get the last laugh because I subverted the expectation of leaving a key underneath a doormat.
 
Captain Jigglypuff said:
I want to put down a doormat with a note on the wall saying “Don’t waste your time. There’s no key under the mat,” and underneath the mat is another note that says “I told you there was no key. Why don’t you listen to instructions?” I bet that’d confuse would be burglars and I get the last laugh because I subverted the expectation of leaving a key underneath a doormat.
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Leave the wrong key.
 
Captain Jigglypuff said:
I want to put down a doormat with a note on the wall saying “Don’t waste your time. There’s no key under the mat,” and underneath the mat is another note that says “I told you there was no key. Why don’t you listen to instructions?” I bet that’d confuse would be burglars and I get the last laugh because I subverted the expectation of leaving a key underneath a doormat.
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full
Leave the key behind the first note...
 
Paddy and Mick were going on a long road trip on a really hot day. Paddy was driving. But it was so hot that Paddy got thirsty, so they stopped off at a cafe. Paddy ordered a cake.
"How come you haven't ordered a drink? I thought you said you were thirsty?" asked Mick.
"I am," said Paddy, "but you know the law, it's illegal to drink and drive."
 
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