Scared of Medical Appointments

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Lately I've had at least two medical appointments per week. It would be more like four, but I cancelled a whole lot of them after becoming overwhelmed mid-January.

I don't want to talk about why. It's nothing terrible. But it's exhausting and kind of painful too.

Involuntarily on the nights before my appointments, I end up only getting a couple hours of sleep, due to anxiety. I have a history of cancer treatment and other extremely invasive procedures, and so medical appointments are anticipated with great dread, even if nothing bad will happen.

It makes me physically ill. And I just can't sleep. I was up most of last night, after sleeping for a couple hours. Before falling asleep I had a full blown panic attack involving fighting through nonverbal to be able to communicate with my daughter. But it ended up sounding kind of like stuttery baby talk.

I feel so alone when I have medical appointments. And so afraid. I wish I had someone I loved to pick me up and drive with me, and then drop me off and hold my hand and tell me it was all going to be okay, and that it was for the best, and they were going to be there to pick me up afterward and maybe go for a drive in the hills and talk about it, or even better, not talk about it. Just to enjoy the silence and the vistas. I miss my dad.

I'm so tired. And I have such a headache. And this happens twice weekly or more.

 

[Aspychata]

l hate medical appointments, and l feel very out of place. Perhaps this won't be long-term? l take my SO to all their appointments. l think l am going to suggest a week off every month from all appointments. Good luck with these. Maybe have a ritual when you get home aa a bribe, like your favorite tea, or your favorite dessert to look forward to when you get home.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My uncle was scared of doctors found out from my dad their cousin had a splinter in his leg got infected doctor advice at time was piss on it, leg had to be amputated. Uncle was 2nd oldest dad 2nd youngest so suspect this really traumatized his older brother. When my uncle was getting close to 90 years old he phoned my dad asking for advice how see doctor as he was starting to have health issues. Uncle died a few years ago at 98.

 

[Tiffany Kate]

It sounds really silly, but... maybe get a teddy bear?

That's what my mum did when my dad had to go into hospital a few years ago. She missed having someone to hold at night (I'm not sure how flattering being replaced by a teddy bear is to my dad, but let's not think about that).

But the thing about teddy bears is that they're not only soft and warm, they're also good listeners and good at appreciating vistas without chattering on.

I also find meditation helps with anxiety. I just do the breathing stuff. I hate guided meditation (I could get on with meditation if they would just shut up). It's not magic, but it does sort of tone it down a bit.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Sorry it is so difficult for you. I wish it was feasible to drive you, but I suspect you are not in Central Florida.

 

[RemyZee]

I have a similar experience. Sorry you're going through it.

 

[AuAL]

I’m so sorry you are having such a trying time. Doctors are also part of my life - chronic conditions mean regular appointments. I try to think of it in the following terms: it is what it is - the visit to the doctor doesn’t change anything about my health (except, maybe, my knowledge of it.) It definitely doesn’t make it worse - it was there already - but could perhaps make it a little better. Nasty surprises sometimes occur - you’ve been there with the big C, as have I - but the doctor isn’t the start, they’re part of the pathway to a better future. I am sure we are all here to talk about things with you, or not talk about them. My thoughts are with you.