Scapegoating and Autism

[Mia]

Recently have come to realize that being scapegoated by society and family is somewhat common for people on the spectrum. From school shootings and the media's reporting of such sad occurrences, it's as if society as whole looks for evidence of some dysfunction and attributes the problem to anyone who does not act like everyone else.

Recall a man convicted of a murder who spent much of his youth behind prison walls, whose only real evidence for conviction was that his neighbors thought it was strange that he 'stayed up late' and he played his clarinet at odd hours of the day. He was later pardoned but not before spending many years of his life in prison.

Yet the question is still for me why? Do people on the spectrum make others feel less intelligent than they are? Does being intelligent or capable make others feel insecure in some fashion? Is avoiding social gatherings something that makes others feel as if we are somehow acting in a superior way? Or is it simply that people in general need to scapegoat someone who they feel is not like them?

 

[Nitro]

I think it has a lot to do with fear of the unknown. It is easier to lay blame when the subject at hand is considered an oddity and the media is pushed by the sales increase when drama is the next subject.

 

[pineman93]

do you have any more info on that man convicted of murder if you can please provide links thank yoou

 

[Bellatrix]

Do people on the spectrum make others feel less intelligent than they are?

No, people on the spectrum make others realise they are not as intelligent as they like to think they are. We expose the self-deception and fraud, and people who are dishonest with themselves don't like the shattering of their delusions. It makes them feel as though the life they are living is a lie, which it basically is. Honesty and truthfulness often hurts, which is why so many avoid it like Dracula avoids the sun.

 

[Mia]

do you have any more info on that man convicted of murder if you can please provide links thank yoou

I saw him interviewed: Guy Paul Morin - Wikipedia

....Mr. Morin was 24 at the time of Christine's death. He lived at home, worked as a handyman, kept bees, played the clarinet and did not hang around with the local youth. One officer wrote in his notebook, according to Maclean's magazine, that Mr. Morin was a "weird-type guy."

What got the prosecution rolling in the Morin case, Mr. Fulford wrote in The Globe and Mail, was "that he seemed to his neighbors rather odd, not a regular guy -- some sort of loner, a fellow who didn't talk the way normal people talk."

 

[clg114]

Recently have come to realize that being scapegoated by society and family is somewhat common for people on the spectrum. From school shootings and the media's reporting of such sad occurrences, it's as if society as whole looks for evidence of some dysfunction and attributes the problem to anyone who does not act like everyone else.

Recall a man convicted of a murder who spent much of his youth behind prison walls, whose only real evidence for conviction was that his neighbors thought it was strange that he 'stayed up late' and he played his trumpet at odd hours of the day. He was later pardoned but not before spending many years of his life in prison.

Yet the question is still for me why? Do people on the spectrum make others feel less intelligent than they are? Does being intelligent or capable make others feel insecure in some fashion? Is avoiding social gatherings something that makes others feel as if we are somehow acting in a superior way? Or is it simply that people in general need to scapegoat someone who they feel is not like them?

I think it is diversity. "Most people" have driving need to be like everyone else, or at least like certain groups of people. For them, being different from everyone else is a bad thing. They want to be one of the masses and do not understand individualism. They fear what they do not understand. Of course this is a very general statement and does not apply to all, but I think the thing that "most people" do not like about us is that we are different from them.

 

[Myrtonos]

I've heard that there are some families where the autistic child, albeit one of the kind who is more obviously autistic to people who know them personally, is scapegoat.
But what about ones who always feel scapegoated whenever they are seen as the source of any blame, such as those with Mendelsohnn's syndrome.

 

[danielcollins]

People don't like what they don't understand - we don't make sense to them, so they assume that there's something wrong (rather than different). Education of the general public on issues like this is important, they're generally born out of ignorance.

What doesn't help is (at least when I speak for myself) I like to take responsibility for my actions. If I did something and it caused a problem, or I was responsible for something - even if it'll cause me pain I will be responsible. Even if that isn't in my best interests.

Maybe some other aspies feel the same and get talked into taking responsibility for things? Apologies if I'm going off on a tangent.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

People fear what they don't understand. It's pathetic that they think that someone "in the right mind" wouldn't be capable of doing bad things and that you have to have a condition of some sort in order to do those acts.

 

[Mia]

There are many people in society, who act like everyone else and end up doing horrible things, when it happens people are shocked because there was no prior indication of it. Normal people it seems are designated as being unquestionably 'good.' Yet people who don't fit in are not. They are more suspect for being different.

Is the ability of many on the spectrum to see through the 'falsity' of everyday life and its conventions a way to target us for not wanting (or being able) to fit in? Or is it simply because we won't get in line and do what others want?

 

[Jusdifferent]

No, people on the spectrum make others realise they are not as intelligent as they like to think they are. We expose the self-deception and fraud, and people who are dishonest with themselves don't like the shattering of their delusions. It makes them feel as though the life they are living is a lie, which it basically is. Honesty and truthfulness often hurts, which is why so many avoid it like Dracula avoids the sun.

A older person's, ( 48 ), view of scapegoating, ( for what it's worth )... 31 years... That's a long time, isn't it? ( That's how long my husband and I have been together. ) We're happy, healthy, successful, and have a good marriage, and a good life. To this day, my husband's family doesn't accept me. After thirty one years, I am still referred to as "that weird *****". Needless to say, we have very little to do with them, these days. Still, it pains my husband. I know that he misses them, and wishes things were different, as do I - believe it, or not.

We struggled with them for many years - limping along on strained relationships. Recently, we relocated from BC., Canada down to North Dakota, for work. ( Hubby's an engineer. ) When we did that, we broke all ties with them. ( There was an incident right before we left Canada. ) Anyhow, when we moved here, we changed phone numbers, and did not leave a forwarding address. To be blunt : We were both tired of the ********, and drama. ( With them - it never ends. ) My husband has a very high-stress job, and I have epilepsy, as well as AS. Very simply, we felt we could do without all the stress. We cut ties with them, not out of anger, but for the sake of ourselves, and our marriage. We did it to have a better life.

Oh, I could write VOLUMES on "scapegoating", folks. It's ugly. It hurts. It is isolating. It destroys relationships, families, and eventually tears at the very fabric of society. I am fortunate... I have wonderful hubby, and a lovely, old Mum, who are always "in my corner". But, I think of those who sadly, have no one. I think about how alone, ostracized, and "passed by" they must feel, and my heart goes out to them. I think about how hurt, angry, and betrayed many of them are - how ready to snap - and I understand <3 We must look around in our own communities, seek out those individuals like that, and reach out to them. If we don't - who will?

 

[clg114]

There are many people in society, who act like everyone else and end up doing horrible things, when it happens people are shocked as if 'normies' are completely above reproach. Normal people it seems are designated as being unquestionably 'good.' Yet people who don't fit in are not. They are more suspect for being different.

Is the ability of many on the spectrum to see through the 'falsity' of everyday life and its conventions a way to target us for not wanting (or being able) to fit in? Or is it simply because we won't get in line and do what others want?

I believe that the answers to those questions are "yes" and "yes." Those are some of the reasons that we are different. It is that difference that "most people" do not like.

 

[pineman93]

thank you

 

[Jusdifferent]

If there is anyone else in here that has had to deal with "scapegoating", or the "ostracism/shunning" that often results from it, I would really like to hear from you - either publically, or privately. It has very strongly impacted my life, especially where my husband's family is concerned. It is so very hard to deal with, because it is really just a more complex form of discrimination. And, discrimination is usually the result of feelings, or emotions - not facts, or data. ( IOW - it is not "logic-based". ) If something is not logic-based, it is very difficult to combat, or even mitigate. Discrimination is the proverbial intellectual "tarbaby"

 

[Jusdifferent]

I wish people that are inclined to engage in this behavior, would understand that can not be confined to an individual "target". * The effects usually mushroom, and ripple - creating a hostile atmosphere, where no one feels comfortable

 

[Judge]

Human tribal instinct. A dynamic that humanity can't seem to completely quell. Some handle it passively while others feel a need to persecute those not perceived to be within their tribe. Mindless favoritism. With scapegoating being on the dark side of it all.

 

[Mia]

Agree, everyone surrounding the 'scapegoat' is affected one way or another. There is a tendency in fact for the scapegoat to become the repository for all ill feelings, to take them on, while others fail to take responsibility for their own actions. They become the 'whipping post' for all that is dysfunctional in a family. That way, everyone is looking at the scapegoat and not dealing with the real issues that exist.

 

[Jusdifferent]

On what Judge said... "Human tribal instinct"... Yes, perhaps so... ( "On to something" you are, Judge, I think? ) After all these eons, so many primal urges left in us all... Maybe an evolutionary, atavistic behavior designed to keep those deemed "different" from finding a mate, and making more "of their own kind"???

On what Mia said... "That way, everyone is looking at the scapegoat and not dealing with the real issues that exist." Yes, there is definitely merit in that line of thought, I believe. Although none of my husband's six siblings get along, and have MANY "axes to grind" between them, if we, ( more me, to be completely honest ), enter the equation, they will put aside their differences, to turn and attack. I suppose that goes back to "the enemy of my enemy is now my friend" ( insert disgusted sigh )

Truly a no win situation. Scapegoating is a very complex issue, with no easy answers.

 

[Judge]

On what Judge said... "Human tribal instinct"... Yes, perhaps so... ( "On to something" you are, Judge, I think? )

Just following in the footsteps of those who already wrote about the dark side of most authoritarian mass movements. Those who capitalize on our baser xenophobic instincts...past and present.

 

[qwerty]

makes me think of ritualised sacrificial ceremonies
where the poor sod being sacrificed takes on the
sins of the community so the community can be
redeemed.


makes me wonder if Jesus is an aspie