Regressing?

[Furelise]

I saw a similar thread, but recently I’ve been feeling like I’m going backwards in a sense. I have been having a lot of issues communicating to the point where I’ve almost lost some words and phrases. I don’t always know how how to express myself, and when I can’t, I hit my head or bite myself. I’ve given myself bumps on my head and major headaches.

I have lost the little bit of ability I had to put myself in someone else’s position or “shoes”, as they say. It’s causing a lot of issues with my fiancée. If it hasn’t happened to me, I have a very hard time imagining it, which means a lot of issues lying too. I can’t do that too well, even if it’s to spare someone’s feelings.

I can’t seem to handle loud noises and when someone changes something that I thought was going to happen, I freak out. Cry, scream, etc.

I have two diagnoses of autism, one of PDD NOS and one of autism spectrum. Both are half assed because I didn’t do the full testing, so they’re not “on paper”. They are legitimate in my opinion though, because I and my family were told about them and so were my teachers. I didn’t do the IQ tests, just the interviews and observations, so we were all told I couldn’t have them on paper. Stupid. But, anyway, I think I’m doing worse. I’m 24, by the way.

 

[Chance]

I sort of get where I "feel" I am slipping away sometimes... BUT its usually when some stuff has happened, and I get down in my thoughts and start dwelling on stuff.

I have never been known to have any situations of self harm. Well there was once but that was intended to end all the suffering at once... Not good, but turned out real good because I learned I truly wanted to live from that situation.

I don't KNOW if we really regress... I know it seems like we do at times, but then those mental clouds sort of go away after a while, and we get back to sunny days...

I have super hard time "putting myself in others shoes." I want to really bad but it feels fake because I cant truly imagine (or know) how they feel... I think its how my emotions don't fit with the words I try and link them too. I'm not sure. I was told once, "You have no idea how I feel." I cant really argue with that, and yet it makes me feel less than others who can... Yet in all that I sense stuff that needs no words like a persons character, or just something that isn't right. Usually I cant define it, but usually I find out later that I was right about what I felt.

ASD and all the wonderful little gifts that come with it make for some weird days... I guess internally I am never bored... My mind is always up to something and that keeps me on this constant mission to explore LIFE in ways other people never even notice.

My hope is you will be back in the sunny days very soon, and you will be amazed at how smart you really are... Even if no one else notices. : )

 

[WereBear]

I get like that when I am doing too much and not taking proper downtime.

 

[OkRad]

I totally am, but I am old. I hung on for a long time. It's awful . My brain does not work like it used to and I need it to work to fight all my issues. I have no hope. I won't suicide because I have people who love and and I love them, too. But I don't know what happened other than a head injury. I have no hope, no drive, no desire..........all I want to do is eat and sleep and I hate myself for it. No hope..............

 

[the_tortoise]

Has there been anything new happening in your life, any changes? ("New" can be on the order of days, weeks, months or even years -- cause and effect are different for each person, each situation.)

Or just a lot of stuff happening -- more stress (good stress or bad stress) than usual?

Dealing with new things, change, or extra stress takes a lot of energy and that energy has to come from somewhere.

When I seem to be losing abilities it is due to not having the energy to keep up with everything -- something has to give, the energy needed for new things gets taken from old things.

Or, if I've just been doing more than I can actually handle on an indefinite basis (basically, if my stress levels and energy/internal-resources-deficit are unsustainably high and that's my "normal") then I will eventually burn out/crash and struggle to an unusual-for-me degree with everything ....my experience and conceptualization of burn out is that it is kind of like sleep debt, except bigger/broader/more-complex and much harder to identify, figure out, and remedy. (It is possible, though.)

 

[Furelise]

Thank you all for the responses. I feel better knowing I’m not alone in this. I know of regression of learned skills in toddlers with autism but not adults, so I was confused.