Question if too much porn is related to lack of social skills, sexual delusions and paraphilias

[Atrapa Almas]

The porn industry treats woman pretty bad from what l read. I dislike internet porn, because men see it available 24/7, then walk around with a mindset that woman are sitting around just waiting for unwanted advances. And just because a female has a sexual vibe or sex appeal doesn't mean she is looking to hook up. Internet porn creates unrealistic expections in men who aren't socially mature.

Then mostly all men must think that way today while men of old times (before porn) should be more tolerant with women. Is that the case?

When my mother was born there was no porn. At those times (in Spain) women could no vote, they barelly had access to education, could not use cars nor motorbikes if husbands do not allow them, they could not travel alone to other countries and could barelly work. They could barelly have their own bussines. At those times they were considered property of men. That was so true that they losed their surnames (this practice did not started with porn). Every man had the rigth to had sex with their wifes when they wanted, without permission. That was not considered rape in those times...

So that was the world for women in those times before porn.

Now lets think about gay porn. Gay porn do degradate men? Following that logic gays who consume porn (most of them) should think badly of other men. Is that the case?

Now lets think about people and countries who dont allow porn. Very religious people have forbidden to watch porn as an example. How do they behave with women? Are talibans very nice with women? Are Japanesse woman more free than woman from europe? Maybe woman from traditional black african countries who was ablated were free? From Saudi Arabia maybe?

But who cares about history? Who cares about data? Who cares about the real world?

Never allow reality to ruin whatever you may believe...

The problem is porn, porn is really bad. Religion and traditions are the way to go...

Maybe I should move to some of those porn free countries so my daugther can grow free of porn and enjoy a happy life as a free woman...

 

[Atrapa Almas]

For me it's simple, I would like to live in a civilized society with people who are able to not behave like animals. So I don't see anything positive about porn, it's animalistic and crude. We like to say that humans are civilized. There's nothing civilized about porn and it's the third biggest industry in the world I think, after drugs and weapons.

You are lucky to be able to move to some other country were porn is not allowed or to convince your society to prohibit porn.

And internet, by the way...

Yeah. Good luck.

Edited: By the way @Forest Cat , as a man who does not watch porn, how do you see women?

I guess you see them as equals, in no sexual way, would be happy to have a women boss and probably can relate with them in a civiliced and mature way. Let us know. You are the very example of a civiliced men. How is it going?

 

[Atrapa Almas]

So if they just allowed porn, the taliban would do much better and Afghanistan wouldn't be a hellhole? I don't think that's right, I think they would still be completely nuts and unable to build a good country or do anything else than destroy everything they touch. Same with Saudi Arabia, they would still execute people in public for entertainment and just be nuts. I doubt anything would change with porn. Actually, I think it would get even worse, no way would porn make those places better.

I never said that. I do not even said that the real problem is religion and tradition. I actually think that the lack of freedom (when a small group impose what to think, what to do, and what to watch to others, like some of you want to do because you think you own universal truth) is the real problem. With women and in many other topics.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

That has nothing to do with porn. You're mixing porn with the women we live with in everyday life, that's not normal or good.

No bro. YOU are doing that. Many of you are the ones who are mixing porn with the way men behave with women. You are the ones who are not factoring religion, traditions or lack of freedom, and you are the ones who want to impose your personal view on others. And deny their rigth to choose what to belive, what to think or what to watch. Its not me. Its YOU.

And by pairs I should have said equals. That word must be a "false friend" word.

 

[Alaric593]

I entirely disagree with that. Women are “loved” for: sexual gratification, janitorial/maid services, cooking, being of service (generally), and child-rearing. That’s it.

Re: “provide”: it sounds like such a negative word, but think of what men have had the privilege to provide. Women have never had that privilege. We are expected to serve, not provide or—in other words—produce and create. Trust me, serving sucks.

To me service isn't a negative. My providing for my family is serving my family just as my wife serves our family with what I am unable to provide because I'm not a female. We're different and are better equipped in our own ways to serve each other. Service to me isn't servant like the hired help. It's a style of leadership.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I guess you see them as equals, in no sexual way, would be happy to have a women boss and probably can relate with them in a civiliced and mature way. Let us know. You are the very example of a civiliced men. How is it going?

By embracing that so severely, I think that I did a disservice to myself. When I had no romantic life I think I used that exaggerated respect to suppress my sexuality. I was so very afraid of acting disrespectfully towards women that in my first relationship I did not know how to move into intimacy. That led to a collapse of the relationship.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Then mostly all men must think that way today while men of old times (before porn) should be more tolerant with women. Is that the case?

When my mother was born there was no porn. At those times (in Spain) women could no vote, they barelly had access to education, could not use cars nor motorbikes if husbands do not allow them, they could not travel alone to other countries and could barelly work. They could barelly have their own bussines. At those times they were considered property of men. That was so true that they losed their surnames (this practice did not started with porn). Every man had the rigth to had sex with their wifes when they wanted, without permission. That was not considered rape in those times...

So that was the world for women in those times before porn.

Now lets think about gay porn. Gay porn do degradate men? Following that logic gays who consume porn (most of them) should think badly of other men. Is that the case?

Now lets think about people and countries who dont allow porn. Very religious people have forbidden to watch porn as an example. How do they behave with women? Are talibans very nice with women? Are Japanesse woman more free than woman from europe? Maybe woman from traditional black african countries who was ablated were free? From Saudi Arabia maybe?

But who cares about history? Who cares about data? Who cares about the real world?

Never allow reality to ruin whatever you may believe...

The problem is porn, porn is really bad. Religion and traditions are the way to go...

Maybe I should move to some of those porn free countries so my daugther can grow free of porn and enjoy a happy life as a free woman...

You make a lot of points and questions here, so I will try to respectfully take a crack at this.

In human history,...at least known, written history,...back as early as the ancient Sumerians, there have been sex workers and slaves who were in the "business" of sexual acts for the purposes of entertainment. The ancient Muslims, Romans, Christians, Jews,...you name it,...all had this subculture. Literally, some of the first silent, "moving pictures",...where blatant sexual acts.

Does gay and lesbian porn degrade the people in this form of entertainment? Yes and no,...it just depends upon the "script" and "producer".

Historically, the more conservative and religious the beliefs,...in general, the more that women are "subservient" to men, and the more men try to "shelter" them from reality.

I don't think,...realistically,...in this information age where children are exposed to the internet at an early age, that any child with an internet connection is NOT going to be exposed to some form of porn. As parents, all we can do is TALK about it with them and let them know,...like a lot of other things on the internet,...and in this world,...porn, without the understanding of what it is,...can be misinterpreted as some form of reality, when it is not,...and can be harmful. It was the responsibility of my wife and I to have this talk with our boys. With a daughter, even more your responsibility to approach this topic from multiple perspectives,...you want her to grow up to be a strong, independent, and INFORMED citizen,...that will free her mind,...sheltering her will achieve the opposite effect.

 

[Aspychata]

We have been in the service of whatever because that is all men offered to woman. So we fought for those rights to vote, be paid fairly and so on. Has it really changed anything? Absolutely not. Human trafficking has now passed drug trafficking in the world. Hotels are now training employees to catch signs of human trafficking. And l feel internet porn only contributes to this. The really dismal thing about human trafficking is that it happens to young children and yes, older females. If you see signs of this, please report it. Employees are becoming better educated and now writing down do you need help, when the female victim is alone and can respond. Females are gaslighted, drugged, their shoes are stolen, their family and friends are cut off, and they are punched, kicked to keep them in line. I am quite sad that my friend reported in Tampa of a older female was drugged and raped in her own apartment. She is struggling, and l asked my friend to please help her out. Has internet porn contributed to this?

As far as gays and porn, I spoke to a gay male divorce attorney in LA, he stated that the LGBT community has some of the highest number domestic abuse cases which was quite surprising to me. Does gay porn contribute to this?

Whatever argument we wish to make doesn't matter, woman still walk with chains. The majority of men delude themselves that they treat us with respect.

No, this isn't a male bashing post. Please treat your daughters and wives with respect, that's all l can ask.

 

[Jeff T]

Some ago I looked up a lot on the internet about all this. Curious.
About 60% of the US look at porn at least once in a while? Some look at it 18 hours a day!
It appeared that the individual outcomes varied quite a bit.
The abuse of women is most troubling. Power and control is the driver there?
Is all porn abuse? Drug abuse figures into a lot of it?
Can porn be produced without abuse?
Porn has been around since ancient times?; to many guys, it is eye-candy.
A nude woman is of great beauty to me, equal to the the most beautiful of landscapes.

Sorry, I am still waking up. May well regret posting this.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

We have been in the service of whatever because that is all men offered to woman. So we fought for those rights to vote, be paid fairly and so on. Has it really changed anything? Absolutely not. Human trafficking has now passed drug trafficking in the world. Hotels are now training employees to catch signs of human trafficking. And l feel internet porn only contributes to this. The really dismal thing about human trafficking is that it happens to young children and yes, older females. If you see signs of this, please report it. Employees are becoming better educated and now writing down do you need help, when the female victim is alone and can respond. Females are gaslighted, drugged, their shoes are stolen, their family and friends are cut off, and they are punched, kicked to keep them in line. I am quite sad that my friend reported in Tampa of a older female was drugged and raped in her own apartment. She is struggling, and l asked my friend to please help her out. Has internet porn contributed to this?

As far as gays and porn, I spoke to a gay male divorce attorney in LA, he stated that the LGBT community has some of the highest number domestic abuse cases which was quite surprising to me. Does gay porn contribute to this?

Whatever argument we wish to make doesn't matter, woman still walk with chains. The majority of men delude themselves that they treat us with respect.

No, this isn't a male bashing post. Please treat your daughters and wives with respect, that's all l can ask.

I have pondered what you say and am still disturbed by what I learn about sexual exploitation of women. I think, from an early age learning how Korean women were sexually exploited as "comfort" women by Japanese troops. It horrifies me to think of how powerless and degraded they must have felt. On my trip to Bangkok, I noticed many of the prostitutes from Issan province, a poor area. I thought about how sex work must color their view of men too. That we are also to be exploited by sex.

 

[Aspychata]

I have pondered what you say and am still disturbed by what I learn about sexual exploitation of women. I think, from an early age learning how Korean women were sexually exploited as "comfort" women by Japanese troops. It horrifies me to think of how powerless and degraded they must have felt. On my trip to Bangkok, I noticed many of the prostitutes from Issan province, a poor area. I thought about how sex work must color their view of men too. That we are also to be exploited by sex.

I am just worried that internet porn fuels the abuse of woman, children, and yes, even males who are abused.

So it's good to acknowledge these things. I am not trying to take anybody's rights away.

It's just like cigarettes have a warning - look this can kill you. If porn sites would support non-profit agencies who help victims leave the industry , that's a step in the right direction. We as a society have to figure out a way to help those who need it. Florida is very proactive in shutting down human trafficking.

Back to the OP. Sorry. Hope l didn't take you off track.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

The abuse of women is most troubling. Power and control is the driver there?
Is all porn abuse? Drug abuse figures into a lot of it?
Can porn be produced without abuse?
Porn has been around since ancient times?; to many guys, it is eye-candy.
A nude woman is of great beauty to me, equal to the the most beautiful of landscapes.

Sorry, I am still waking up. May well regret posting this.

In todays porn world, I think there is examples of just about every "type" of it you can think of,...and some crazy stuff you probably haven't. According to some sources, roughly 30% of women watch porn regularly,...and they are more likely seeking out more "romance" or "fantasy" type themes,...and certainly nothing that is "abusive". Not to mention there is the whole segment of self-shot, amateur porn,...which basically, is there to get views and make some money.

Not that I claim to be an expert in any of this, but not all porn is about power over, or degrading women,...although some is for sure. These "actresses/sex workers" make a lot more money than most people and some see it as a means to an end,...paying the bills.

 

[Oz67]

I am just worried that internet porn fuels the abuse of woman, children, and yes, even males who are abused.

So it's good to acknowledge these things. I am not trying to take anybody's rights away.

It's just like cigarettes have a warning - look this can kill you. If porn sites would support non-profit agencies who help victims leave the industry , that's a step in the right direction. We as a society have to figure out a way to help those who need it. Florida is very proactive in shutting down human trafficking.

Back to the OP. Sorry. Hope l didn't take you off track.

No, you did not! I was just analyzing and observing you you all.

 

[Aspychata]

In todays porn world, I think there is examples of just about every "type" of it you can think of,...and some crazy stuff you probably haven't. According to some sources, roughly 30% of women watch porn regularly,...and they are more likely seeking out more "romance" or "fantasy" type themes,...and certainly nothing that is "abusive". Not to mention there is the whole segment of self-shot, amateur porn,...which basically, is there to get views and make some money.

Not that I claim to be an expert in any of this, but not all porn is about power over, or degrading women,...although some is for sure. These "actresses/sex workers" make a lot more money than most people and some see it as a means to an end,...paying the bills.

That is a fallacy. At one time, yes, they made money. Now it's just very little money, woman have been raped, and can't press charges. Mass production on grand level with the woman signing away all their rights. In fact, Hugh Hefner recorded woman at the mansion, and behind their backs (or on their backs) sold all the photos and rights to dot com porn sites. Because once the porn sites came online, the magazine lost huge amounts of money to the sites. And a lot of woman had no idea their pictures were at these sites.

 

[Forest Cat]

According to some sources, roughly 30% of women watch porn regularly,...and they are more likely seeking out more "romance" or "fantasy" type themes,...and certainly nothing that is "abusive".

I thought so too but a while ago I read an article, it said that after looking at the statistics and doing surveys, it turned out that women watched more violent porn than men. I saw it in a Swedish paper but I think it was from the US originally.
I thought it was so odd, hard to believe. It doesn't make sense to me but so many things in this world does not make sense to me. And maybe it wasn't correct, who knows what you can trust these days.

 

[Aspychata]

Another man who took advantage of females videos was Girls Gone Wild founder, however eventually he did get charged. These woman were coerced with liquor and signed their rights away.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Another man who took advantage of females videos was Girls Gone Wild founder, however eventually he did get charged. These woman were coerced with liquor and signed their rights away.

Sometimes decades back when I couldn't sleep and was channel surfing I saw ads for that crap. The bulk of the Florida spring break scene I just was not into. While I could crawl through tight cave passages using my fingers and toes, crowds of people made me claustrophobic. Instead, I'd kayak the Chassahowitzka, or from Pine Island to Cayo Costa State Park, explore the everglades or snorkel and dive in the keys. Suffice it to say that I didn't get to meet many girls, wild or otherwise with my low-key pursuits. I don't know what was wrong with me?

 

[Jordy]

I thought so too but a while ago I read an article, it said that after looking at the statistics and doing surveys, it turned out that women watched more violent porn than men. I saw it in a Swedish paper but I think it was from the US originally.
I thought it was so odd, hard to believe. It doesn't make sense to me but so many things in this world does not make sense to me. And maybe it wasn't correct, who knows what you can trust these days.

It doesn't surprise if me it's accurate. Woman care a lot more about powerdynamics in porn/erotica, man just want her to look cute and have fat in the right places. Most statistics on the type of man woman stay with agrees with it. You can look it up right now anyway. Google engineers also did research on woman's sexual fantasy, for the most part it seems to be very powerful man capable of aggression that woman want to seduce into becoming their well behaved loving partners.

 

[Thinx]

It doesn't surprise if me it's accurate. Woman care a lot more about powerdynamics in porn/erotica, man just want her to look cute and have fat in the right places. Most statistics on the type of man woman stay with agrees with it. You can look it up right now anyway. Google engineers also did research on woman's sexual fantasy, for the most part it seems to be very powerful man capable of aggression that woman want to seduce into becoming their well behaved loving partners.

Fantasies are not the same as realities, however. Research also shows that even when women feel equally or more dominant in a relationship, they are still more likely to be the sufferer of abuse in imbalanced relationships, where men even when they feel a lack of power are much less likely to suffer violence, control or coercion or enforced isolation.

You really only need to look at statistics overall too, to see this is the case, and historically has been so. It's hard though to work on these inequalities without some troubles and distress for any gender, but mutual blaming isn't the best way forward. Educating young men and women and helping to support them to understand constructive ways forward in relating, based on research and experience, is a way forward, for example.

 

[Oz67]

I am analyzing this conversation and learning something new. Thank you!