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Question if too much porn is related to lack of social skills, sexual delusions and paraphilias

Oren Franz

Well-Known Member
Is having history of watching too much porn the related to Paraphilic Disorders, sexual delusions and problems with social emotional reciprocity? I struggled with those three problems when I have history of watching too much porn. I also have Autism Spectrum Disorder.
 

Alaric593

Well-Known Member
Is having history of watching too much porn the related to Paraphilic Disorders, sexual delusions and problems with social emotional reciprocity? I struggled with those three problems when I have history of watching too much porn. I also have Autism Spectrum Disorder.

It's not an unreasonable hypothesis. Human mimicry is one of the ways we learn. Even with Aspergers, I can discern quickly based on conversation who does or doesn't watch cable television as I've not watched it in decades.

If a person watches porn often but doesn't have their own intimacy experiences, they could easily have deluded expectations.
 
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Neonatal RRT

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
"If a person watches porn often but doesn't have their own intimacy experiences, they could easily have deluded expectations."...@Aleric593

Hit the nail on the head. Yes.

Professional porn production is simply entertainment,...and for the most part, doesn't represent many people's experiences or reality. Most of it is "eye-rollingly" stupid.

Those that produce their own,...the amateur stuff,...just looking to make some money, I suppose. Some of it is just for some "shock value" and internet views.

As far as the effects on emotional reciprocity, or any other sort of behavioral/communication issues as a result of watching porn,...I think it might be a stretch of the imagination,...perhaps a few, particularly sensitive individuals,...maybe. Not convinced.

My wife and I tried a few times to watch some together,...it ended up being more of a turn off than a turn on,...but we're both more logical thinkers, so we couldn't really translate what we were watching with any sort of real world experiences to relate to. Either it was 2 people just having sex,...why watch when you can do?...or,...some bizarre, ridiculous scenario that had no place in our reality.
 
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Alaric593

Well-Known Member
"If a person watches porn often but doesn't have their own intimacy experiences, they could easily have deluded expectations."...@Aleric593

Hit the nail on the head. Yes.

Professional porn production is simply entertainment,...and for the most part, doesn't represent many people's experiences or reality. Most of it is "eye-rollingly" stupid.

Those that produce their own,...the amateur stuff,...just looking to make some money, I suppose. Some of it is just for some "shock value" and internet views.

As far as the effects on emotional reciprocity, or any other sort of behavioral/communication issues as a result of watching porn,...I think it might be a stretch of the imagination,...perhaps a few, particularly sensitive individuals,...maybe. Not convinced.

My wife and I tried a few times to watch some together,...it ended up being more of a turn off than a turn on,...but we're both more logical thinkers, so we couldn't really translate what we were watching with any sort of real world experiences to relate to. Either it was just 2 people just having sex,...why watch when you can do?...or,...some bizarre, ridiculous scenario that had no place in our reality.

It is strange to me that there's people who believe visual entertainment doesn't affect people's beliefs and behaviors.

"The Friend zone" came from Friends now it's ubiquitously believed to be a normal human behavior to the point it has become a normal human behavior.

"Women and children are unconditionally loved while men are loved for what they provide"

A comedy bit by Chris Rock that people actually believe despite mountains of evidence to show it's not accurate.

Even written entertainment. Uncle Tom's Cabin was a work of fiction that did more to spur the fight to destroy legal slavery than any of the barnstorming by Frederick Douglas et al

The Life and Times of Christopher Columbus by Longfellow is where people get the idea people at that time thought the world was flat. It's not the case.
 
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phantom

Well-Known Member
It's My Birthday!
There's a book called Your Brain on Porn which is a good read, and it does show how it affects the mind.

Ed
Its a little psuedosciency. From my understanding it connects porn to dopamine, then goes from dopamine to all possible ways it can influence your brain, this means that in a lot of contexts of that book you could replace watching porn with say eating fruit, drinking soda playing a video game or watching a good (regular) movie. Yes watching porn "rewires" your brain, so does listening to music or really anything else. I don't know if there is any proper empirical evidence that show it affects your brain in a way that is very distinctive from anything else that gives pleasure.

There may be other ways that explain how porn can have negative consequences for your or other peoples lifes, but i don't think the neuroscientific explanations hold water.

Young man are extremely horny, always have been. The "unsavory" thoughts they can have about woman is probably not caused by porn.
 
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Alaric593

Well-Known Member
Its a little psuedosciency. From my understanding it connects porn to dopamine, then goes from dopamine to all possible ways it can influence your brain, this means that in a lot of contexts of that book you could replace watching porn with say eating fruit, drinking soda playing a video game or watching a good (regular) movie. Yes watching porn "rewires" your brain, so does listening to music or really anything else. I don't know if there is any proper empirical evidence that show it affects your brain in a way that is very distinctive from anything else that gives pleasure.

Young man are extremely horny, always have been. The "unsavory" thoughts they can have about woman is probably not caused porn.

It's not a matter of unsavory thoughts necessarily. It's a matter that it's not reflective of how the vast majority of women or men, want to be treated while being intimate so if there's no experience and if one happens to find a woman who wants to be treated that way, you're not likely to want to be in a relationship with them in the first place, but wouldn't know.
 
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Gerald Wilgus

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I am of the mind with the camp that places it into unrealistic entertainment. I had found it entertaining in the past, but I thought that it can desensitize you toward the objectification of women as mere receptacles of selfish needs. Of course I enjoy sex, but it goes far beyond the mechanical and gynocological presentation of porn. Taken too seriously porn could provide an overly simplistic idea of the give and take between partners in a loving relationship.
 

Knower of nothing

Well-Known Member
I believe people with needs that aren't being met are more likely to be drawn to porn, then they may come to believe it's the porn that is why the needs aren't being met. Inward blame with no actual steps taken. You see those preaching cycles of nofap and whatnot, but it's nothing if you don't address why you watch porn to begin with. All forms of instant gratification will sends shots through your motivation, which if it's already flimsy could be taken down just like that. But porn also has a shock value that creeps into your subconscious, this I do believe genuinely causes a kind of callousness in people. Akin to those exposed to a lot of gore. Whether this contributes to, or less likely, causes the sort of issues you speak of, I wouldn't know. But I do know it makes you drained and jaded just like staying up until 5 am eating mostly junkfood would.
 

Paul Lee

Well-Known Member
I'd rather get a real girlfriend. I used sex workers frequently before, to varying degrees of success. All in all, the experience was vaporware.

It doesn't matter how attractive they may be. There's zero emotion. They are often the ruthless sort as well. And I doubt many participants in porn really enjoy what they're doing, all of the time. It's a job.

At the end of the day, I don't have much advice, but the Internet in general is pretty fake, and just makes these feelings worsen. When it comes to sex though, I don't blame guys for paying for it. But why pay for porn when there's a lot of free porn that's just as eye catching, or whatever?
 

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
Well, watching porn made me expect the pizza delivery guy to deliver the extra sausage, but he just runs away when I bring that up. What the hell?
 

Thinx

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I guess what you said here, is you watched 'too much' porn. So in that phrase, it sounds like you felt you were overdoing the porn watching.

Useful responses here about the issues, I guess like anything we do instead of taking positive actions to get towards our goals, it could affect your motivation to have a relationship, if that's what you want?

You can try psychosexual counselling if you are troubled by this issue. Or do you find you are not troubled by it?
 

Atrapa Almas

70% INTJ + 30% ASPIE = 100% HUMAN
V.I.P Member
Some years ago I asked a friend of mine, who is a dentist, if dental fillings containing mercury could be dangerous since mercury is very poisonous...

He looked at me very seriously and told me: "Bro, if that thing would be dangerous we all would be showing a lot of symtoms. Everybody has those mercury amalgam dental fillings..."

So you are very worriend because porn could cause all sort of dangerous things?

:)
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
The porn industry treats woman pretty bad from what l read. I dislike internet porn, because men see it available 24/7, then walk around with a mindset that woman are sitting around just waiting for unwanted advances. And just because a female has a sexual vibe or sex appeal doesn't mean she is looking to hook up. Internet porn creates unrealistic expections in men who aren't socially mature.
 
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Oren Franz

Well-Known Member
The porn industry treats woman pretty bad from what l read. I dislike internet porn, because men see it available 24/7, then walk around with a mindset that woman are sitting around just waiting for unwanted advances. And just because a female has a sexual vibe or sex appeal doesn't mean she is looking to hook up. Internet porn creates unrealistic expections in men who aren't socially mature.

Exactly!
 

Forest Cat

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
One interesting thing is that animals do not make or watch porn. Humans do. I think that says a lot about us and it's not flattering.
 

NB79

Well-Known Member
I had years long addiction to this, i'm christian so i would get angry at myself, i prayed until i was able to quit, it has been years since i last watched anything, i hope to stay clean if God permits.
 

Kalinychta

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
behavior.

"Women and children are unconditionally loved while men are loved for what they provide"

I entirely disagree with that. Women are “loved” for: sexual gratification, janitorial/maid services, cooking, being of service (generally), and child-rearing. That’s it.

Re: “provide”: it sounds like such a negative word, but think of what men have had the privilege to provide. Women have never had that privilege. We are expected to serve, not provide or—in other words—produce and create. Trust me, serving sucks.
 

Luca

charm & chaos
V.I.P Member
I'm asexual so I might be the wrong person to comment on this... but I have stumbled across images of porn unintentionally and found it really upsetting.
I'm not part of any "fandoms" myself but seeing some of the horribly inappropriate fan art and fanfiction that some people create is just... ew. Especially in cases where it's about a celebrity or another real person and could have a negative impact on their career or relationships.
I'm also of the mindset that there is no such thing as a "good" fetish. Fetishizing human beings is disgusting. Fetishizing non-human creatures is even worse. You can go to jail for that in the real world.
 

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