Procrastination, organisation and getting started

[Pats]

@SusanLR I hate appointments and anytime I have to be somewhere at a given time. I don't like to commit for that reason. Would never join a league or anything like that. It becomes too much like a job that you have to be there at on certain time on these days. Ugh! But I'm rarely late. If my appointment time is 2, I'm there by 1:45 at the latest. I had one doctors office that I ran behind and didn't get there until just a couple minutes before and the receptionist said she was worried about me because I'm never that late. lol But I spend too much time dreading and planning ahead everything I have to do to be ready in time.
@Dillon Campbell - I do procrastinate most the time, but I usually know about how long something is going to take and can still have it done by the time I need it. The problem doesn't seem like it's procrastination as much as some things I just don't like to do, somethings takes away from things I want to do, and somethings in order to do well I need to be in the right frame of mind. All these things causes me to put things off, but then often find myself having to MAKE myself do something I really don't want to do because I've run out of procrastination time and then it's added to the stress. (After 60 years, I've learned when to do what and all that - I used to be a lot worse).
Working, though, I always got things done first and quickly because I wanted out of there when my time was up. Most nurses I worked with kind of puttered around a lot because they were trying to get that little bit of overtime. I got my stuff done up front because you never would know what was going to happen - you could wind up (and often did) in a code situation or some other unexpected event (always) that's going to take priority and if you put the stuff off that you had to do during your shift, are going to end up running around to get it done or staying late to get it done and I DID NOT WANT TO STAY LATE.
But at home I procrastinate - I'll do this tomorrow. I can go another day before having to go to the grocery store. Oh I can go one more day, so on. I'll do laundry tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. But those things only matter to me anyway.
Do your homework!!!

 

[the_tortoise]

Can procrastinating also do with being on the spectrum even though I should not blame it all on that?

Difficulty with time management and organization, also with shifting from one task to another, can be symptoms of executive dysfunction -- which is pretty common in autistic people. So it could be related.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

it will be the death of me..

 

[Horsegirl]

I am right now putting off going Christmas shopping. I HAAAAAAATE THE MALL

 

[Gracey]

I try to prioritise.

I could probably list 10+ tasks I feel need to happen at any one time.

I can’t do them all at once.

This could go one of two ways-

I complete the most important first and go onto the next, and the next...

Or I don’t do any of it and distract myself with something else.

If I’m distracting myself with something else, I’d try to find out why?

Why am I putting completing the task off?

Fear of failure or not being good enough are usually my answers.
(If I don’t do something, I won’t fail or give myself a hard time over not reaching a certain standard)

If I put things off I don’t have to experience that disappointment in myself because I know I am capable of much more.

 

[Pats]

I am right now putting off going Christmas shopping. I HAAAAAAATE THE MALL

Agree!!! When I was engaged to my ex my mom had come to visit and she had to DRAG me out to the mall to get him a Christmas gift.

 

[Ezra]

Well I read the title of this several times over a couple of days before replying....

 

[Tom]

I'll let you know.

 

[tducey]

I've had it before as well. Think it's something everyone has. Thing is to learn to priortirize your daily tasks and go from there.

 

[tree]

"One set of action-taking methods includes involving other people in the process...
Another set of action-taking methods revolves around how you structure your approach to the work...
A third set of action-taking methods involves pairing unpleasurable activities with pleasurable ones to boost your overall mood."


The 3 methods are described in this very short article.
How to Motivate Yourself to Do Things You Don’t Want to Do

 

[Vince]

I've had a problem with getting started on things my whole life. In addition, I constantly have the problem of finishing projects once started. I am fairly old now and I can say that I have got a some better over the years. This past year in particular, I've settled into a pretty good routine which is more of a generic outline pattern that I have been following. Basically it amounts to simply deciding to spend a few minutes every day on the project I deem highest priority, and if I "get into it" I'll leave myself open to working on it for several hours (or whatever) if I get hooked into it, which usually happens, though not always.

One thing I've realized for decades now is (while I'm in the middle of regretting that I have put off something for years) if I had spent a half hour per week on most of this stuff, dozens and dozens of these projects would all be complete today, and of course a half-hour per week is truly nothing.

One more data point I can mention is that I am a machinist, and the work I am asked to do varies widely. It could be almost anything really. It's kind of a mixture of mechanical engineering except I get to physically make the parts I design, which engineers usually don't do. Essentially what I do is build things, which is usually high-precision parts for machines, but is sometimes just making a specific bracket or clamp or repairing an employees bird feeder or hat rack at home or whatever. Anyway, at that one location (at work) digging in right away, picking the proper tooling and completing all types of jobs extremely quickly is something I receive kudos for all the time. This is the only place this happens though. At home, though things have been improving some this past year, it's basically still a huge construction zone everywhere you look. I made myself laugh a few weeks back telling somebody that I finally got my house to the point where absolutely nothing is finished now.

My point is that I have been working in this field for a long time now, and between 1) having all the tools organized at work, 2) knowing how to use all of them over these past decades, and 3) making a routine of changing directions on the fly, I have got the work thing pretty well figured out now. This phenomenon of changing directions when necessary seems counter to the aspie trait list, but over the years I have simply made it one of my routines. It's a habit. Basically I've used my job as CBT and it has worked. I'm just now starting to export the routine to my home, but it's only about 10% there so far. BUT... that is 5 times better than it useta was.

In summary, the takeaways that might help are
1) the big secret to getting things accomplished isn't as much getting started or finishing (though by definition those exist as bookends), but rather just committing to taking a stab at it every day, day after day. Some days you do more than others, some days it's nearly nothing, but don't take a single day off. Now I feel more discomfort when I skip doing what I was supposed to than I used to dreading getting started, thus it's an easier choice.
2) over time, you CAN work out how to make getting started, doing it every day, and changing direction in the middle when necessary a simple 3-step routine (habit) to facilitate starting to put your life in order. We aspies lean toward liking routine, so try to stop thinking of the shift from different phases of the task as changes, but rather just a succession of steps in a routine. Each and every task in your path has a beginning, middle and end. Sounds like a repeating pattern to me.

I'm not articulating this very well, but I'll let it stand for now. You can probably figure out pretty much what I'm trying to explain.

 

[tree]

This makes sense to me.
I know that it's easier for me to do a thing if I have a time planned for doing it.
Why Calendars are More Effective Than To Do Lists - Srinivas Rao - Pocket
Doesn't have to be an electronic calendar.

 

[tree]

"Roughly 5 percent of the population has such a problem with chronic procrastination that it seriously affects their lives.

None of it seems logical. How can people have such good intentions and yet be so totally unable to follow through?

Conventional wisdom has long suggested that procrastination is all about poor time management and willpower. But more recently, psychologists have been discovering that it may have more to do with how our brains and emotions work.

Procrastination, they've realized, appears to be a coping mechanism. When people procrastinate, they're avoiding emotionally unpleasant tasks and instead doing something that provides a temporary mood boost. The procrastination itself then causes shame and guilt — which in turn leads people to procrastinate even further, creating a vicious cycle.

But getting a better understanding of why our brains are so prone to procrastination might let us find new strategies to avoid it."

Article goes on to explain why and offer strategies.


Why Your Brain Loves Procrastination - Vox - Pocket

 

[Fino]

I feel like that was an academic way of saying that people procrastinate because they'd rather do something else than the thing, which is just the definition of procrastination, I think.

 

[tree]

I feel like that was an academic way of saying that people procrastinate because they'd rather do something else than the thing, which is just the definition of procrastination, I think.

Quite naturally it defined the concept.

The rest of the article, which I did not quote, goes on to
offer strategies for working through the state of procrastination.