Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral
When I do things for people, gratitude is not my aim; I don't want to be thanked and only care about getting them what they want or need, so I've no understanding of people who care about getting a thank you.
...manipulate those rules to get something out of the receiver, surreptitiously making the favor about them rather than whomever they are helping.
The times I do "genuinely" say thank you (instead of saying it because I'm expected to), I know that inside I feel like I "owe" the person something because of what they did for me, and I'm trying to pay on that debt. Obviously, that's not a healthy perspective to act on, so in some ways, my quest for authenticity is drawing me away from saying thank you.
My aspie wife is the same way. As an NT person, I can see how this can sometimes come accross "inappropriate" is you don't say "thank you" at the "appropriate time". This is probably something everyone here already knows, but as an NT person, we expect everyone to communicate with the same ritualistic social queues that we use regardless of how insincere they may be. For example, asking someone how they are doing when we really do'nt want to know. My wife and I have had discussions about this and she finds it very odd that I say "thank you" or ask "how's it going" when I don't really mean it. Logically I agree with her but the emotional side of me can't stop doing itThere are situations where I should've said "thank you" when all I said was "mm-hm" or "okay" or "great" or "all right". I should start considering the situation more.