I guess it's kinda late but ı don't really know why i used the word "iq", i just want to say "intelligence". There are so many people on the replies talking about the iq tests, what does those points mean and that kinda stuff...
I am just trying to understand why i cannot have healthy relationships with people, and why do i feel like i'm from a different world near them. And i'm making an assumption like, "are they dumber than me? is this the problem?".
Most of the time i don't even know how can someone possible answer this kind of questions here but i just want to write what i feel, and when someone shares their own experience, it feels nice.
TW: Hypothetical situations.
Social and emotional intelligence are aspects of every type of social interaction. And these are aspects that NDers of any type often struggle with due to differences in the regions of the brain that process social signals and nonverbal communication.
People labelled as overly sensitive often pick up on not only their own emotions, but those of the people around them, often resulting in overwhelm and confusion. Other side of the coin, the emotionally tone deaf.
People who are oblivious to the emotions of others. Some of the lack of comprehension can be the result of things like alexithymia (inability to effectively identify and define emotions) and sometimes it is a biological lack of empathy, (sociopathy which affects about 1 in every 25 people, nearly twice the rate of ASD which is 1 in 44.) One can be addressed, the other is not something that responds to any tools. One cannot actively address something that doesn't exist.
e.g. A kid stopping to pull a kitten out of a storm drain, and say, a driver who hits a cat with their car and fails to stop. To the driver, it's just a cat, it has no worth to them. It was in the way and the resulting collision was the cat's fault. It isn't the driver's problem.
A majority of people easily relate to the kid helping the kitten. Where things get complicated is reactions to the hit and run driver.
Situational context varies, but baseline civility and social standards are always in play. Being book smart won't improve one's interactions with others, only conscious engagement can do that.
Any healthy relationships involve emotions, conflict, and compromise. The third element being one of the most critical elements of maintaining a relationship of any sort. Someone who always has to have everything their way all the time, consider what that would be or is like for others.
Say Guy A clips his SO's dog backing out of the driveway on his way to work. Doesn't stop, doesn't tell her, just keeps driving. Guy A doesn't like SO's dog, he thinks it's a nuisance and he doesn't like the attention SO gives to the dog. SO hears the dog, and rushes out as Guy A turns onto the next street. SO bundles the dog off to the vet and drives home and immediately starts packing their belongings. Guy A's inaction is a deal breaker for SO.
Is SO overreacting, or did SO see a reality that cannot be unseen or resolved?
Social intelligence includes basics like civility and an ability to look for common ground, something that allows for a conscious (active furthering of) association, rather than artifice induced by forced proximity. Pets and food are usually pretty good topics without being banal.