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Yes, this describes me well, probably hit 85%-90% on the characteristics list. The video describes me quite well. Like you, always knew I was different but had no name until age 60 (diagnosed). I think part of the passiveness is growing up constantly getting rejected and all the ... garbage (almost violated the language rules) dumped on us and not being allowed to react against it. If we do, we are labeled bipolar, or sociopath, or depressed socially anxious or anger issues, anything but autistic.For some reason i didn't identified this trait or personality in me until now, or i did and didn't know it had a name or classification.
Is always nice to see there are other people like you with the same issues elsewhere.
Someone here can relate to this?
This is a great point. I don't think many people get that we need space to sift through the overwhelming reactions we have to everything. They see someone passive, not someone actively trying to understand themselves.I think isolating is a okay solution when overwhelmed with thoughts, and l am able to examine my responses and deciding if it was appropriate.
I agree with this too. Sometimes we offend others for reasons we don't understand, so you become quiet. People see someone passive, but you are actively avoiding anger, judgment, or hate.Because at times l wish not to be noticed, not judged. Then there is no standard l need to meet or live up to in the social circle of work or random friends. My personal philosophy of how l live my life may not go over. So being passive means you, the random person will not dissect me, so it's a mask to me.
Good point. That is a real danger.But l also feel being passive means you aren't living in the moment, you are letting life pass you by, so maybe you have to examine why you feel you can't be in the moment. But this is all subjective. Each person has their own take on this.
Thanks for your post, @Darkkin. It definitely helps me figure out how I feel about all of this. The way you described it is very meaningful to me.TW: Mention of self harm.
I avoid people on principle because I generally don't get much out of the interactions. My social circles are small and carefully cultivated. And as such, if I do meltdown those who matter know just to let me be. Let me take off with the dog or bounce the snot out of my yoga ball.
@Outdated mentioned the term passive-aggressive, how many of us flip the aggression to ourselves in some form of self harm? Scratching, finger clenching, biting, etc...to release the overwhelming tension? How many of us devalue ourselves to the point that damage to ourselves means very little, but causing harm or upset to any one or anything else is inexcusable?
Nobody is going to notice, let alone care, that one has maimed one's self. In essence, we become our own target for these overwhelming emotions because who's going to talk about something like that, moreover, who is going to take the time to listen?
Bad coping mechanism? Definitely, but in the litany of bad coping mechanisms, it is one of the lesser evils because the impact is limited to one's self and it is an easy secret to keep because no one is going to ask about what they don't know. As much as it sucks it restores a certain baseline functionality and equilibrium. It is an atypical release valve in a meltdown situation. It is fight or flight when it gets locked into overdrive.
From a personal standpoint, I don't want interaction, I just want to get as far away from others as fast as possible. If that means a three hour walk in nasty winter weather, then so be it. It might not seem logical, but it is a way out. A way to simply get away from the trigger source. Space = safety. Space = time.
And just like with the battle ravaged Enterprise, time allows us to get the bridge and computers back online. It might take a while to recover the warp drive, but impulse power at least allows one to be reasonable again. These blow ups and meltdowns aren't something one grows out of they are an inherent neuro-pathway that hardwired at a very early age. In shutdown mode, one hides it and that can delay a blowout or major meltdown for often months at a time. It is major masking and profound social camouflage because those roiling emotions are not socially acceptable. They are seen as weakness and a drastic personal flaw.
I am passive in the sense I struggle to ask for help too for the fear of being rejected.For some reason i didn't identified this trait or personality in me until now, or i did and didn't know it had a name or classification.
Is always nice to see there are other people like you with the same issues elsewhere.
Someone here can relate to this?