Hello! I'm new to this forum and I am just in the beginning of my autism journey, so please bear with me if I say something offensive etc and please feel free to inform me if I do so I don't repeat the mistake.
Anyway, my question is does anybody find that when they overshare, it's not just about themselves? You also overshare about friends, family members, information you know, etc? I'm just trying to kinda seperate in my mind what could be autistic traits and what are just me traits or things I need to fix. So I thought I would ask
Thank you to everyone who has read this and/or replied!!
First of all, welcome.
Second,...one of the key purposes of this forum is support. We understand that many of us are autistic, and all that comes with it. Although, there is a tendency to use language that is more direct,...an autistic trait,...we are, for the most part, here to help each other. Furthermore, if a topic is important enough, often containing moral and ethical underpinnings,...considering that the collective community on this forum is quite diverse,...with their own personal truths,...there is a risk of "offending",...but do not be afraid of it,...embrace it,...discover and learn. If you end up going down that line of conversation,...pause to understand context and perspective,...learn from each other instead of making the mistake of falling into an emotionally-charged, divisive, interaction.
Third,...the topic of oversharing. One, it's my understanding that the condition of autism tends to create a situation where there are "developmental delays" with respect to social/interpersonal communication. A common explanation, being that we often have to "think" our way though these interactions, whilst so-called "neurotypicals" will instinctually learn these skills. I am 55 years old,...and although I may be more skilled than say, a 15 year old neurotypical, in some cases,...I am quite aware that I may not be as skilled as say, a 30 year old neurotypical. Two, as you have more and more social interactions, and learn about people, in general,...you have more experience with this understanding of "truth" and "lies",...and more subtle concepts of "deceit",...and "masking". With life experience,...and being personally effected by deceit and lies,...truth becomes increasingly valuable,...a conscience develops. It becomes increasingly difficult to "hide knowledge",...to "keep a secret". So, even as a young autistic individual, I think that for many of us,...this social immaturity combined with this conscious value of truth,...leads us to be more "open" with others. It can be a good thing,...but in other situations, it may be seen as "inappropriate" or "awkward",...or worse, quite harmful. One of the more difficult concepts for autistics to wrap around their brain is,...the "REAL WORLD",...from a social/communication perspective,...is "FAKE". You don't have to lie to be fake,...all you have to do is withhold information.
That said,...pause,...think,...ask yourself,
"Is speaking my truth valuable to the conversation?",...if so, can I use language that minimizes social awkwardness?
"Is speaking my truth about another person?"...if so, is it really MY role to make another person's personal business open to others? I have these mental conversations all the time, both personally and professionally. I think the skill of the "pause" is under rated,...as too many times we get our mouths ahead of our brains, and things get said that we can't take back.
