CuriousSpirit
Well-Known Member
I am in a relationship with Felix (not real name) for 2 years now. I really enjoy the time we spend together (many similar interests) on most weekends. Felix has restricted the time spent together to almost only weekens and short phone conversations 4 nights a week. These conversations are usually kind of one-sided where I ask him about his day and he tells me. I may offer a bit of my day which doesn't seem interesting to him, so I suggest saying "good night." He is unlike typical Aspies in that he likes to touch and be touched. This is how I know he cares about me, he is very affectionate. We never explicitly agreed to be monogamous, but are (I believe) in fact. Alex has MANY old girlfriends and almost girlfriends whom he communicates with regularly. (We are both close to retirement age.) I consider the relationship very good to excellent when I am with him, but lacking when I'm not. But, though I consider it lacking, I'm happier with the weekends than not having them with him, so I accept this. Now, my problem. A few weeks ago, he announced that Beth (not real name) would be staying with him for a couple of weeks. Beth is a potential girlfriend, in that they got close, and have not (apparently) become intimate, but he hoped for that. She has moved around over the years. He last saw her in a visit out of town 10 years ago. Last weekend, Felix was 90% distracted preparing for her arrival. I asked many questions, including "Do you want to be intimate with her?" To which he answered that it was a possibility, that "it could happen."
When the weekend wasn't going well for me, I said "I feel insecure with Beth coming. You are so focussed on preparing for her arrival." (Cleaning apartment— unusual behavior!) I am capable of sharing him, but already at the limit of sharing with his weekday activities, relegating the relationship to 2 days a week. I emailed him late last night about our usual phonecall. He responded "Call if you wish." I am sorry now I called, because he said he was busy talking with Beth.
I don't know Beth or what her intention is. I have exchanged 2 brief emails with her and she is aware Felix and I are in a relationship. I feel slighted, ignored, and jealous. Don't know how to act. (though enraged thoughts flit through my mind today)
How can I be gracious, not jump to conclusions, maintain my cool, get through this? Thanks for any help!
When the weekend wasn't going well for me, I said "I feel insecure with Beth coming. You are so focussed on preparing for her arrival." (Cleaning apartment— unusual behavior!) I am capable of sharing him, but already at the limit of sharing with his weekday activities, relegating the relationship to 2 days a week. I emailed him late last night about our usual phonecall. He responded "Call if you wish." I am sorry now I called, because he said he was busy talking with Beth.
I don't know Beth or what her intention is. I have exchanged 2 brief emails with her and she is aware Felix and I are in a relationship. I feel slighted, ignored, and jealous. Don't know how to act. (though enraged thoughts flit through my mind today)
How can I be gracious, not jump to conclusions, maintain my cool, get through this? Thanks for any help!