goraidders
Member
Not sure what information is relevant and what is not. So please overlook my rambling.
I have a 17 year old daughter, Sydney. She is going for testing in April for Asperger's. Her current counselor is very sure she has it(and possible some OCD), and the more I read about it the more I am too. She is very bright, and articulate. She does well in school. She loves to draw and read. She is an amazing young woman, and we are very proud of her.
A little background. She never really fit in socially in school. She kept trying to figure out why she wasn't liked. She kept thinking about what made her different to figure it out. One time she thought it was because of her clothes, so she wanted different clothes to fit in. Another time she thought it was because she was too smart. Then she thought maybe it was her religion. It was none of those. She just doesn't interact in a generally considered acceptable way. She did not really understand the concept of personal space. She has a strong sense of right and wrong with no room for other opinions. If she thinks she is right about something (even if it is meaningless to most) it is nearly impossible to get it out of her head. Finally after 4th grade we schooled her at home using an online school.
When she was ten she start saying she wished she wasn't born. She was sad all the time. She lost her joy in life. (Looking back that is about the time she realized what actually made her different from other people. And among other things she realized things she said were not taken the way she meant.) I couldn't figure out what to do to help her, so I took her for counseling. Her first counselor she only saw a handful of times before the counselor was assigned to a different area. But she is the first person to mention Asperger's. She mentioned it almost in passing. I went home and looked it up and thought maybe so. At that time a lot fit, and a lot didn't. Her next counselor was helpful, but thought we needed to get her in more social settings. But the counselor was helpful. They diagnosed her with ADHD and a couple months later put her on Prozac. That seemed to really helped. She took them for a while and then got off. She was ok for a while. Still socially awkward. But seemed fine. She was close to being discharged from counseling and her counselor left for another job. I asked the new counselor about Asperger's, and she said that it could be. But it didn't really matter as we would keep doing the same things.
A few years later she was having extreme anxiety, scratching her arms, biting her arms, and having a difficult time even ordering food. So her pediatrician put her on buspar and recommended counseling. Her counselor said she must be depressed if she was having that much anxiety. This counselor did not fit for us. And apparently we did not fit for her either. (They got into a huge glass half full/ half empty discussion. The counselor thought Sydney was intentionally being difficult. Sydney just cannot answer that question with out more information.) After a while she said it was time for discharge. Sydney was doing much better, but far from ready to have no more help. We had a final session and I explained my concerns about ending counseling and meds. She basically said Sydney was as good as she was going to get. Sydney was done with counseling at this point. This counselor frustrated her to know end. Most of which I did not know until afterwards. I convinced her to give a new counselor a try. One meeting and go from there. Within ten minutes she asked if Sydney had heightened senses. It was a light bulb moment for me. Yes she could not tolerate bright lights, has a vehement dislike of certain colors, very sensitive to bright lights, and has always been extremely picky about what clothes were not itchy. This counselor gets her, and is so great for her. It is amazing to have someone who understands what she is dealing with. She is off the buspar and doing really well. Excited to start college in the fall.
This had turned into a much longer post than I intended. And there is sill so much to say. Let me try to wrap it up quickly.
She is relieved to have a real diagnosis to describe her issues. There are many things that point to it, and it really seems likely to me. And I will be relieved to have some guidance on how to help her. When to push, and when to back off. What is beyond her control, and what is not. My mom described her as high maintenance when she was about three. It was not said in a detrimental way, but it was accurate. I look back and see so many things that fit with Asperger's, and regret I didn't pursue it the first time it was mentioned years ago. She is an only child. Many of her issues didn't seem that strange to me. I had many similar things I went through growing up just not as severe or as many. But still wished I had pursued it. She still has many problems that maybe she would be better able to deal with. Ok that is enough for now. I am excited to find a group of people to share experiences with, and get advice on how to help Sydney.
Again sorry for the long post, and thanks to any who was able to make it all the way through.
I have a 17 year old daughter, Sydney. She is going for testing in April for Asperger's. Her current counselor is very sure she has it(and possible some OCD), and the more I read about it the more I am too. She is very bright, and articulate. She does well in school. She loves to draw and read. She is an amazing young woman, and we are very proud of her.
A little background. She never really fit in socially in school. She kept trying to figure out why she wasn't liked. She kept thinking about what made her different to figure it out. One time she thought it was because of her clothes, so she wanted different clothes to fit in. Another time she thought it was because she was too smart. Then she thought maybe it was her religion. It was none of those. She just doesn't interact in a generally considered acceptable way. She did not really understand the concept of personal space. She has a strong sense of right and wrong with no room for other opinions. If she thinks she is right about something (even if it is meaningless to most) it is nearly impossible to get it out of her head. Finally after 4th grade we schooled her at home using an online school.
When she was ten she start saying she wished she wasn't born. She was sad all the time. She lost her joy in life. (Looking back that is about the time she realized what actually made her different from other people. And among other things she realized things she said were not taken the way she meant.) I couldn't figure out what to do to help her, so I took her for counseling. Her first counselor she only saw a handful of times before the counselor was assigned to a different area. But she is the first person to mention Asperger's. She mentioned it almost in passing. I went home and looked it up and thought maybe so. At that time a lot fit, and a lot didn't. Her next counselor was helpful, but thought we needed to get her in more social settings. But the counselor was helpful. They diagnosed her with ADHD and a couple months later put her on Prozac. That seemed to really helped. She took them for a while and then got off. She was ok for a while. Still socially awkward. But seemed fine. She was close to being discharged from counseling and her counselor left for another job. I asked the new counselor about Asperger's, and she said that it could be. But it didn't really matter as we would keep doing the same things.
A few years later she was having extreme anxiety, scratching her arms, biting her arms, and having a difficult time even ordering food. So her pediatrician put her on buspar and recommended counseling. Her counselor said she must be depressed if she was having that much anxiety. This counselor did not fit for us. And apparently we did not fit for her either. (They got into a huge glass half full/ half empty discussion. The counselor thought Sydney was intentionally being difficult. Sydney just cannot answer that question with out more information.) After a while she said it was time for discharge. Sydney was doing much better, but far from ready to have no more help. We had a final session and I explained my concerns about ending counseling and meds. She basically said Sydney was as good as she was going to get. Sydney was done with counseling at this point. This counselor frustrated her to know end. Most of which I did not know until afterwards. I convinced her to give a new counselor a try. One meeting and go from there. Within ten minutes she asked if Sydney had heightened senses. It was a light bulb moment for me. Yes she could not tolerate bright lights, has a vehement dislike of certain colors, very sensitive to bright lights, and has always been extremely picky about what clothes were not itchy. This counselor gets her, and is so great for her. It is amazing to have someone who understands what she is dealing with. She is off the buspar and doing really well. Excited to start college in the fall.
This had turned into a much longer post than I intended. And there is sill so much to say. Let me try to wrap it up quickly.
She is relieved to have a real diagnosis to describe her issues. There are many things that point to it, and it really seems likely to me. And I will be relieved to have some guidance on how to help her. When to push, and when to back off. What is beyond her control, and what is not. My mom described her as high maintenance when she was about three. It was not said in a detrimental way, but it was accurate. I look back and see so many things that fit with Asperger's, and regret I didn't pursue it the first time it was mentioned years ago. She is an only child. Many of her issues didn't seem that strange to me. I had many similar things I went through growing up just not as severe or as many. But still wished I had pursued it. She still has many problems that maybe she would be better able to deal with. Ok that is enough for now. I am excited to find a group of people to share experiences with, and get advice on how to help Sydney.
Again sorry for the long post, and thanks to any who was able to make it all the way through.
