Welcome!
For frame of reference, I was not diagnosed until 52. I, fortunately, and unfortunately, have a bit of a photographic memory of my early childhood. I can remember toddling around in diapers, sitting in the high chair to eat, I can remember my first birthday party (toys, who was there, the TV shows that were on, etc.), and how I interacted with my world and with other small children, I can quote my parents (which can be quite disturbing to them). I can vividly remember all the events of the day my 7 week old brother died of SIDS, when I was 2 yrs old. It is one of the underlying motivations for me being a respiratory therapist in one of the largest neonatal centers in the world, and an educator at a local university instructing other new respiratory therapists.
Now having said that, so-called "hyperactivity" is often misinterpreted and misdiagnosed in the autistic child, as there may be sensory issues and intellectual drive issues that result in certain behaviors. For example, is there an apparent lack of focus? Could it be environmental and internal sensory issues that make it uncomfortable to be in? Could it be that an intellectual interest is not being presented? Could it be a lack of sleep, as many of us do not produce and metabolize the hormone melatonin properly? Could it be that a limited diet also limits the microbial biome in the intestinal tract, which, in turn, could limit the amounts of certain neurotransmitters being produced or certain nutrients are lacking? Could it be that the glutamine (excitatory)-to-GABA (inhibitory) neurotransmitter ratio is unbalanced, with a bias towards glutamine? Could it be that he is having bouts of frustration with how he communicates vs. how others around him communicate? This a small list of questions to consider when dealing with so-called "behavior issues" in the autistic,...even into adulthood. It is important to understand that autism is a congenital condition, it has its own anatomy, physiology, and psychology. Trained neurologists can readily identify an autistic brain on MRI studies, and functional MRI studies are an important area for autism research. Basically, the autistic brain has physical characteristics that lead to different function. Another way to put it, is that the "hardware" is different, so, in some cases, no amount of "software" is going to change it. All we can do is manage symptoms and in some cases, learn how to mask our behavior in order to appear somewhat "normal".
Personally, I have always had 5 distinct frequencies of ringing in my head, tinnitus, that has nothing to do with the functioning of my ears. The frequencies bounce and sing in my head, non-stop, even while sleeping. I have to have some sort of "white noise" in my environment all the time or else it can be quite distracting. Researchers believe it is a form of thalamo-cortico dysrhythmia due to how the neurons formed and migrated,...it is part of my autism. As a child, it played a part in my level of activity, basically trying to get away from it, and I couldn't stand to be in a quiet room to sleep,...which was also a challenge. I have what is known as "Visual Snow Syndrome",...a pixelated view of the world, and it has nothing to do with my eyes, but rather, it too, is a form of thalamo-cortico dysrhythmia due to my autism. I am photo sensitive. I don't sense pain like others and can, and have, injured myself,...as a child, it presented as unusually high physical strength and a high tolerance for pain. What it meant as child was not feeling pain when I was cut, bruised,...or spanked (that was a frequent thing in my house). I set 11 national records when I competed in weightlifting. What it meant for me was multiple torn muscles, ligaments, bone fractures,...surgeries,...and now,...severe arthritis now that I am older. Some things I do not smell,...skunk, for one,...which was quite disturbing to my wife when the dogs got sprayed and I just let them in the house like nothing happened.
I also cannot pass a mandatory mask fitting at work because the smelly sprays they use to test a sealed mask,...I can't smell or taste. I am lacking in cognitive empathy, but quite high in emotional empathy. In other words, I wear my emotions on my sleeve and respond to others emotional state, if someone else is crying, I will cry with them,...but I do not have the ability to understand or predict what it could be like in another's shoes. Don't get angry with me about considering someone else's feelings,..."How do you think that makes me feel?",...is not a question I could answer. "How would you feel if I did that to you?"...is not a question I could answer. "How are you feeling right now?"...is not a question I could answer. How can I be married for 35 years to the same woman,...and have zero clue as to her thoughts? I never have. It is a mystery to me every time I interact with her. At some level I can say I know her from experience, but I can't look at her and have any idea what she is thinking,...I always have to ask. I don't pick up on hints or clues. I could go on and on here.
Every autistic is different in how they perceive and interact with their world. As a parent, you must understand that in many ways we feel like a visiting extraterrestrial alien trapped here on Earth. Our sensory experience, our social experience, our communication experience, our intellectual experience, our emotional experience, can be quite altered from the so-called "norm". I once told my department manager, "If I could transfer to you my sensory experience,...you would probably call an ambulance." We are judged by others, by neurotypical norms,...and that just sets many of us up for failure on so many levels. Having said all of that,...I would be very careful interpreting and receiving diagnosis from professionals that do not fully understand autism,...as they may be diagnosing based upon neurotypical norms, not autistic norms.
