New app telling which men to avoid

[Tired]

Just noticed that people talk about it a lot. It is named "Tea Dating Advice". It's an app for women to talk about men they dated. Ideally it was supposed to be an app where women can tell one another not to date someone because he's abuser, married etc, so it was supposed to be a women supportive app. In reality it's the app where everyone can make an account and say whatever lie they want about any men.

I'm sure soon same app will appear about women.

Your thoughts?

 

[Hypnalis]

Seems like a self-correcting problem: "bad date" women will self-report here, and they'll be providing evidence of libel at the same time /lol.

OTOH if this turns out to be legal, the male version will make "foodie dates" a thing of the past.

 

[thejuice]

If it takes off the app will probably expand to both genders, as they can double their market and income. I think women tend to be the pioneers trying new social media apps and then men follow where the women go.

I don't like it, just another reason to date within your community, if you're lucky enough to have one.

 

[Judge]

No surprise.

Oddly enough the first thing that popped into my mind was the reciprocal of such a thing. When some guys in a Harvard dorm made up an online commentary about the women in their dorm for "social networking" purposes. Which didn't always sound particularly kind in both its intent and content. Allegedly citing who was "hot"- and who was not.

It somehow evolved into what is now more commonly known as "Facebook".

 

[Magna]

I think the idea of an app for women to alert other women not to date "bad boys" would be interesting to see how effective it would be. Apparently dating apps have resulted in a small percentage of men being pursued by a large percentage of women. It's presumed that in many of those cases the women those men date aren't aware that the men are also dating a whole bevy of other women equally interested in them. You would think maybe women who find out and feel jilted would report the men: "Don't date him. He's a womanizer!"

However....the internet has made it more clear that a lot of women may say they don't like "bad boys" and instead want to date "nice guys" but they actually do exactly the opposite. Maybe some women would use that app as a way to FIND such men.

I saw a podcast once where a panel of female guests were asked to choose between the following two hypothetical choices:

"Would you rather be chosen by a prince to be a part of his large harem and live in his castle with all his other concubines or would you rather be married to a man and have a family with him even if that means potentially struggling to make a life together?" The majority of the young women on the panel chose being a member of a harem. There were maybe 8-10 young women on the panel and only two if I recall correctly said they'd want to be married and have a family. Point being, it seems to be the case that many women who know a man they desire is not monogamous/exclusive, don't actually care enough to avoid such men; the opposite.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Wait for the lawsuits.

If someone lies about someone else on the site, there will eventually be lawsuits. The first cases will likely be someone suing a person that slandered them.

Then the questions will arise - "How do the makers of the app verify that the person is telling the truth? What are they doing to prevent slander/libel?" The app makers will try the same dodge that Facebook tried: "We just provide a platform for people to speak on. We don't moderate content." That excuse won't make the company look good and they will have to either find a way to moderate content or lose membership.

By this time, the original app makers will have sold it to a larger company, dusted their hands off and moved on.

If the concept becomes popular enough that a few competitors arise, then the problem will increase. Eventually, there will have to be laws to protect people from harm done on the app, or laws to punish those who do harm. Those laws will likely start in Europe, not in the U.S.

 

[tree]

No surprise.

Oddly enough the first thing that popped into my mind was the reciprocal of such a thing. When some guys in a Harvard dorm made up an online commentary about the women in their dorm for "social networking" purposes. Which didn't always sound particularly kind in both its intent and content. Allegedly citing who was "hot"- and who was not.

It somehow evolved into what is now more commonly known as "Facebook".

I remember reading about that.

The History of How Mark Zuckerberg Invented Facebook

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Just noticed that people talk about it a lot. It is named "Tea Dating Advice". It's an app for women to talk about men they dated. Ideally it was supposed to be an app where women can tell one another not to date someone because he's abuser, married etc, so it was supposed to be a women supportive app. In reality it's the app where everyone can make an account and say whatever lie they want about any men.

I'm sure soon same app will appear about women.

Your thoughts?

It certainly opens the door to reputation destruction, akin to a "mean girls" gossip group in middle and high school.

Yes, there are men that should be taken out of the dating pool because they have got a screw loose and behavior issues. No argument there. I'm just not sure an app is the right tool for "running down" a man. If the shoe were on the other foot, women would not be in favor, to say the least.

 

[Outdated]

Your thoughts?

The very first thought that popped in to my head was the legality of such a site, certainly not legal in Australia for moral and ethical reasons. Businesses within some industries also keep and share blacklists of bad employees, also illegal for the same reasons.

It creates a system where people can be judged and branded by the opinions of nameless individuals and invites the sort of corruption such as personal vendettas.

 

[Dagan]

They should have called it, Rotten Potatoes.

 

[Hypnalis]

Apparently dating apps have resulted in a small percentage of men being pursued by a large percentage of women. It's presumed that in many of those cases the women those men date aren't aware that the men are also dating a whole bevy of other women equally interested in them. You would think maybe women who find out and feel jilted would report the men: "Don't date him. He's a womanizer!"

Indeed.

The data seems to be a bit thin, but IMO it's very likely to be happening as you describe it.

The data I've seen mentioned online is that the number of women who report being in a relationship is much larger than the number of men. Also some quite large proportion of men report not dating, and not looking to do so.

OTOH I haven't seen anything corrected for unevenness in dating behavior, for example the natural age skew caused by hypergamy, which suggests they shouldn't be comparing XX and XY in the same age ranges.

One likely side effect of the XX/XY imbalance is that the highly popular single men don't take the women who are so readily available to them very seriously. This could easily stunt their emotional development - for them it's a "narc-creation engine", equivalent to discouraging young XX's from learning to regulate their emotions.
It's not so easy to hold the participants accountable though - they're objectifying each other. Maybe just take a headcount, assign equal responsibility, and blame the "side" with the most participants /lol.

FWIW I've heard (online) people with the right professional skills and experience say that this is happening, but I haven't seen any data. Definitely plausible though.

If it's just a large pool of narcs enjoying the chaos and uncertainty of each others company, the effect on the new app will be interesting /lol..

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Happy I found my wife and both sons in relationships, War of the sexes heating up. A war neither side can win. As millennial women approach menopause, maybe a truce.

 

[Judge]

To me the most relatable exposure over a site like this is an emotional consideration of loss of consortium. A very old tort of civil law that appears not to be taken seriously by a number of legal systems in general. Some limiting such considerations to married people why others may not.

Though it would seem pointless to apply such a term to a single date gone bad, or just casual observations or anecdotes by women. Equally I'd find it difficult to establish a real sense of defamation over such things as well. That in formal litigation you'd better be able to establish some sense of tangible loss for a civil jury to quantify in damages. Well beyond being butthurt by hurtful comments of anonymous posters.

Then consider all the legal complexities of such a suit if the plaintiff and defendant reside in different legal jurisdictions. And how pricey it may turn out to be relative to the cost of legal representation.

The bottom line is that such exposures have existed sense the inception of the Internet itself. Only silly, wealthy people can likely entertain superfluous litigation like that. Provided of course that overburdened civil courts are even willing to entertain the filing of such a suit.

It's why all sorts of personal injury remain pervasive across the Internet. With the logistics of litigation being too impractical to bother with no matter how strong a case one might perceive.

Forget such websites. Just go onto YouTube to see an incredible degree of libel happening in every direction. Logistically it's out of control.

 

[tkcartoonist]

Sadly, this is nothing new: there used to be a site called DontDateHimGirl.com that did the same.

 

[thejuice]

I think the idea of an app for women to alert other women not to date "bad boys" would be interesting to see how effective it would be. Apparently dating apps have resulted in a small percentage of men being pursued by a large percentage of women. It's presumed that in many of those cases the women those men date aren't aware that the men are also dating a whole bevy of other women equally interested in them. You would think maybe women who find out and feel jilted would report the men: "Don't date him. He's a womanizer!"

However....the internet has made it more clear that a lot of women may say they don't like "bad boys" and instead want to date "nice guys" but they actually do exactly the opposite. Maybe some women would use that app as a way to FIND such men.

I saw a podcast once where a panel of female guests were asked to choose between the following two hypothetical choices:

"Would you rather be chosen by a prince to be a part of his large harem and live in his castle with all his other concubines or would you rather be married to a man and have a family with him even if that means potentially struggling to make a life together?" The majority of the young women on the panel chose being a member of a harem. There were maybe 8-10 young women on the panel and only two if I recall correctly said they'd want to be married and have a family. Point being, it seems to be the case that many women who know a man they desire is not monogamous/exclusive, don't actually care enough to avoid such men; the opposite.

I think polygamy might be the human normal and it was religion that controlled our sexual behaviours.

 

[thejuice]

It would be interesting to see where it's hosted, somewhere out of reach.

There's one notorious website (don't name it if you know it) that harrasers vulnerable people to death and it's still going to this day. It's unpoliceable.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

all I know my oldest son first relationship fell apart he joined a dating site, got flooded with women all the dating got to expensive picked the one lady who was into Star trek, other interests in common with him, her previous husband was one of us, My son likes to do stuff see also bought a son into the mix, gave my son a chance to play dad, takes her boy camping. All three are always doing stuff. My son was the guy who is school would plan the big skiing trip for the class out of province.

 

[Judge]

It would be interesting to see where it's hosted, somewhere out of reach.

Just being within the realm of civil law makes it inherently "out of reach" for most people to seriously consider litigating against.

 

[thejuice]

Just being within the realm of civil law makes it inherently "out of reach" for most people to seriously consider litigating against.

Yes isn't defamation very hard to prove. And like you said you have to be rich, you could potentially be on the hook for an eye watering amount if it goes belly up

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

This is a very old idea. It's not new.

Portland Oregon has something called "The Bad Date Line". It's a small newspaper, mostly used by Sex Workers to report assaults, rapes, druggings, and kidnappings that they have survived.

There's a full description of the perp along with the circumstances.

Other people use it too, to report a rapist or abuser, or a blind date that ended up as a near kidnapping.

It's a powerful thing. And it's been around for decades.