Need advice for an odd and stressful situation please

[kyliewyote]

Hi all --

I am an NT in a slowly progressing long distance relation with an Aspie, and things are comfortable for us, but he has preferred to not yet have any one know, which I respect.

In a recent trip, a neighbor that is nothing but ill will talked to me, and in a pretty crude way, asked if I was just there to get laid. I tried to brush it off, but he went on with "hey, take your clothes off, and put it out there". I didn't know what to say, and he said "ahhh, I guess you already have".

The next day, a co-worker of my Aspie said the neighbor blabbed that I had gone over, undressed in front of my Aspie, and then was whining "why won't he do me?". This neighbor is nothing but caustic, and my Aspie hates him.

Do I talk about it, or do I leave it? I don't want to light more of a fire and stir up more trouble than already exists, nor talk about it if it isn't something that my Aspie would ever hear (the neighbor and he do not talk). But it worries me that if he hears it, he may have some belief that I did talk to the neighbor.

From what I've read and experienced, some thought processes are very linear, and I'm afraid that if he hears it from the neighbor, he may believe it and not listen to me for what was really said.
And again, I don't want to stir trouble on the flip side if it's something that would never come up.

Blech....

 

[qwerty]

I would mention it in such a way as to highlight the absurdity of the neighbour. You could say "You will not believe what that twat next door has done", and proceed to have a joking conversation about his behaviour. He sounds uber creepy to me and I would keep my distance from him.

 

[watersprite]

First of all, eww. I agree with qwerty, definitely talk about it. The more information packets - talk, I mean - that you put forth the better to counteract the creep's story. I'm guessing he's one of those that likes to hear himself talk. He reminds me of an older fellow who, during neighborhood potlucks would talk non-stop about his experiences of sex to anyone who he could corner.
Best to stay well away from such humans.

 

[tree]

Hi all --

I am an NT in a slowly progressing long distance relation with an Aspie, and things are comfortable for us, but he has preferred to not yet have any one know, which I respect.

In a recent trip, a neighbor that is nothing but ill will talked to me, and in a pretty crude way, asked if I was just there to get laid. I tried to brush it off, but he went on with "hey, take your clothes off, and put it out there". I didn't know what to say, and he said "ahhh, I guess you already have".

The next day, a co-worker of my Aspie said the neighbor blabbed that I had gone over, undressed in front of my Aspie, and then was whining "why won't he do me?". This neighbor is nothing but caustic, and my Aspie hates him.

Do I talk about it, or do I leave it? I don't want to light more of a fire and stir up more trouble than already exists, nor talk about it if it isn't something that my Aspie would ever hear (the neighbor and he do not talk). But it worries me that if he hears it, he may have some belief that I did talk to the neighbor.

From what I've read and experienced, some thought processes are very linear, and I'm afraid that if he hears it from the neighbor, he may believe it and not listen to me for what was really said.
And again, I don't want to stir trouble on the flip side if it's something that would never come up.

Blech....

The neighbor does sound creepy. Either that's how he talks around everyone or maybe he is attracted to you.

I am missing how Aspie/neighbor/co-worker are involved and how you came to know the blabbing.
Let's see....co-worker told???Aspie & he told you?
IDK.

Anyway, neighbor sounds like a schmuck.
Share weirdness with Aspie.
In an analytical way.

 

[Maelstrom]

That neighbor is basically commiting harrasment you may want to look him up he may be on the sex offenders list, a real creep. I would report him maybe or move...or both. Certainly wouldn't hurt to have him checked out...bring a mean dog next time, and mace, and something to tape him. Eeeew!

 

[tree]

That neighbor is basically commiting harrasment you may want to look him up he may be on the sex offenders list, a real creep. I would report him maybe or move...or both. Certainly wouldn't hurt to have him checked out...bring a mean dog next time, and mace, and something to tape him. Eeeew!

Tape him
tase him
mace him
dog to macerate him

 

[Maelstrom]

Tape him
tase him
mace him
dog to macerate him

Yeah! sort of my view Hope my post wasn't too extreme, Good morning Tree

 

[watersprite]

Tape him
tase him
mace him
dog to macerate him

Actually this might excite him. Best way to kill something is to ignore it. But look him up, just in case, as Maelstrom said.

 

[tree]

Actually this might excite him. Best way to kill something is to ignore it. But look him up, just in case, as Maelstrom said.

No kidding, tasing might excite him. lol
Those were jokes....
Now that I think of it, 'tape'----I supposed that meant audiotape.
Although, it could have been 'duct.'

Smothering seems like an adequate 'death' method.
Way to quell undesired growth.

But how to smother?
Application of Truth...

 

[Warmheart]

I also suggest ignoring the neighbor. As for your dear Aspie, I would not feel a need to mention this. The neighbor's behavior has already made a name for himself, and your Aspie knows you to be kind and sensible.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I'd talk it over with him. I'd bring it up from "I am so mad and need somebody to listen" so I'd come across with righteous indignation (thus, a believable victim) instead of fearful/guilty damage control (as if I instigated it and was covering it up). And I'd avoid the neighbor like the plague and when he came around I'd also treat him like a plague: Lysol in the face.

 

[Maelstrom]

I'd talk it over with him. I'd bring it up from "I am so mad and need somebody to listen" so I'd come across with righteous indignation (thus, a believable victim) instead of fearful/guilty damage control (as if I instigated it and was covering it up). And I'd avoid the neighbor like the plague and when he came around I'd also treat him like a plague: Lysol in the face.

I don't know if I'd risk that without a big friend or 2 standing behind me, I think Tree has a point on having the mace and taser handy, this guy is way out of line, not showing much impulse control. I would still check with the police, that way you can show a pattern latter if there is more trouble, and if he is on probation... problem solved.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I don't know if I'd risk that without a big friend or 2 standing behind me, I think Tree has a point on having the mace and taser handy, this guy is way out of line, not showing much impulse control. I would still check with the police, that way you can show a pattern latter if there is more trouble, and if he is on probation... problem solved.

You've never been on the wrong end of Lysol or other cleaning/disinfecting products or read the warning labels, have you?

 

[tree]

You've never been on the wrong end of Lysol or other cleaning/disinfecting products or read the warning labels, have you?

Bleach, ammonia....bad stuff.

Quite naturally Maelstrom thinks tree has a point with the handy
mace & taser. They were his ideas in the first place. lol

AsheSkyler--"I'd bring it up from "I am so mad and need somebody to listen"
so I'd come across with righteous indignation..." Proactive sounds good to me.

 

[Maelstrom]

Bleach, ammonia....bad stuff.

Quite naturally Maelstrom thinks tree has a point with the handy
mace & taser. They were his ideas in the first place. lol

AsheSkyler--"I'd bring it up from "I am so mad and need somebody to listen"
so I'd come across with righteous indignation..." Proactive sounds good to me.

Okay you got me Tree, but show some pity, Mael is a walking zombi and feels like road kill, didn't get much sleep with all this flue stuff. However you brought up smothering so I assumed we were at least somewhat on the same page...
I do think it's better to be safe than sorry.

 

[Slithytoves]

My guess is that your boyfriend already knows this guy is a scumbag. If the guy has the nerve to talk that way to you, no doubt he's said something rude to your bf about how he's "getting some", etc. So yes, I would tell him about this. If you don't want him to actually do anything about it, make that clear so he doesn't feel pressured. Frame it as a FYI.

Is this neighbor a renter? If he is and he talks to you like that again, tell him you're going to report his behavior to the landlord. Maelstrom is right. It's harassment. Don't tolerate it.

 

[kyliewyote]

Thanks all.....
Loved the bit of humor in there. I'm likely going to be out for a visit in 2-3 weeks. I think better to deal in person if we do talk about it (ie, if it has come up on his side). The neighbor is pretty much a trouble-maker, and has a criminal record. My aspie already holds a lot of hatred for him (the most intense emotion I've ever seen him express), so I don't want to add fuel to the fire if it's not needed.
I'd rather just focus on my aspie, me, and us, but thank you for the advise from some of you for how to approach it if it does....