My therapist and I are on better terms

[Markness]

I saw my therapist today and we managed to get on better terms. She told me she didn’t mean to come off like she didn’t want me to have a girlfriend. She in fact said she did want me to but that I need to overcome the obsession because she is worried it could lead to something drastic for me.

 

[tree]

I thought it was like that, what she meant.

That constantly dwelling on one subject wasn't working well for you.

 

[Thinx]

That's good, that you feel clearer about her view, and what she meant. Sounds like she's on side, but needed to challenge you a bit. I'm glad you talked that through.

 

[GadAbout]

I'm glad you worked that out with her. You can't always tell what someone thinks or wants (and we autistics are worse at that, than others) but sometimes it's as simple as asking for a clarification.

 

[Aspychata]

Communication is so tough for us, and how we perceive comments is another grand canyon area that we fall down alot.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

That’s great. Hopefully she’ll be a good therapist.

 

[All-Rounder]

Some cool things: Zebra is at exactly 1000 messages, and Markness is at +888 karma

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I don't know why you still see the same counsellor. I'd find a friendlier one.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

Some cool things: Zebra is at exactly 1000 messages, and Markness is at +888 karma

I’m rather excited. This may be my highest amount of social interactions ever.

 

[Markness]

Some cool things: Zebra is at exactly 1000 messages, and Markness is at +888 karma

I don’t know whether or not if this is a jab at me or not.

 

[All-Rounder]

I don’t know whether or not if this is a jab at me or not.

Why would it be, have you been a bad boy?
I explained in pms, but everybody has stats, and yours was a fun repetitive number.

I also felt like being positive for a change on this thread.
I think this change should be embraced positively. For now anyway. We don't know the future.

 

[VictorR]

I don’t know whether or not if this is a jab at me or not.

Hi Mark, if you haven't seen @Neonatal RRT's comment in the What Happens to Kids Who Are "External"? thread, here's an excerpt that you may find of interest. (see link for full comment)

...If you don't understand your own autism, what it may lead to is this misinterpretation that "the world is against me", that "people don't like me",...when all of this is a sick and twisted little mind trick we tend to play on ourselves because we do not think and behave within the norms of the neurotypical world...

While it may not seem like we're always expressing it, we're rooting for and with you Mark, as we do for everyone.

 

[Markness]

Why would it be, have you been a bad boy?
I explained in pms, but everybody has stats, and yours was a fun repetitive number.

I also felt like being positive for a change on this thread.
I think this change should be embraced positively. For now anyway. We don't know the future.

I have been getting treated poorly lately so I don’t know if others even like me or not. I’ve especially had others tell me they don’t want me to have a girlfriend because I am depressed. I don’t want anyone telling me not to want a relationship.

 

[Markness]

Hi Mark, if you haven't seen @Neonatal RRT's comment in the What Happens to Kids Who Are "External"? thread, here's an excerpt that you may find of interest. (see link for full comment)



While it may not seem like we're always expressing it, we're rooting for and with you Mark, as we do for everyone.

I definitely worry that others wish me ill will and don’t want me to have a relationship, especially if they used to talk to me but stopped. It really messes with my mind and makes me wish it would stop.

 

[All-Rounder]

I have been getting treated poorly lately so I don’t know if others even like me or not. I’ve especially had others tell me they don’t want me to have a girlfriend because I am depressed. I don’t want anyone telling me not to want a relationship.

It can be really tough when people judge that way. But you have to remember these are probably not personal, they are just opinions and ideas and aren't all accurate.

The health of a relationship does depend on how you are able to deal with your conditions and shortcomings, and how dedicated you are. It's very true people with deep health conditions can be very difficult to date, and I've dated a lot of people with deep conditions, but I believe that it can be worked out if intentions remain in the right direction and people can keep creating strength, communication, wishing well and good behaviour. Also, depression isn't the same on different people. Some depressed people are draining, others are nice and interesting to be around.

 

[GadAbout]

I have been getting treated poorly lately so I don’t know if others even like me or not. I’ve especially had others tell me they don’t want me to have a girlfriend because I am depressed. I don’t want anyone telling me not to want a relationship.

It's been pointed out before that you misperceive other people's motivations, what you yourself called a "persecution complex." Can you repost one single post where anyone told you "I don't want you to have a girlfriend"? No, you can't.

People have with good intentions advised that you're unlikely to find one in your current state and you should "work on yourself" first. That is NOT the same as saying "I don't want you to have a girlfriend." You are misreading what people say.

As for others giving up responding to you, that's largely because you ignore advice or even support, preferring to post complaint after complaint. It has been pointed out to you before that most people will only tolerate that treatment for a while, then give up (since there is so little return on time-investment).

You'll probably represent this post as "not treating you well" or "GadAbout hates me." Neither is true.

 

[All-Rounder]

I definitely worry that others wish me ill will and don’t want me to have a relationship, especially if they used to talk to me but stopped. It really messes with my mind and makes me wish it would stop.

The reason i stopped replying was because i wasnt around, sometimes i dont feel like being social.

 

[Markness]

The reason i stopped replying was because i wasnt around, sometimes i dont feel like being social.

I honestly meant more like people I’ve known for years. There are two in mind who used to be in my corner but they no longer respond to me. It makes me feel like they wish me ill will, especially in regards to finally meeting the love of my life.

 

[Markness]

It can be really tough when people judge that way. But you have to remember these are probably not personal, they are just opinions and ideas and aren't all accurate.

The health of a relationship does depend on how you are able to deal with your conditions and shortcomings, and how dedicated you are. It's very true people with deep health conditions can be very difficult to date, and I've dated a lot of people with deep conditions, but I believe that it can be worked out if intentions remain in the right direction and people can keep creating strength, communication, wishing well and good behaviour. Also, depression isn't the same on different people. Some depressed people are draining, others are nice and interesting to be around.

I feel the people who tell me I am too messed up to have a relationship are wrong. The way they say it makes me feel like they are telling me I am worse than a serial killer and that I will hurt a woman or worse. Hasn’t it occurred to them a woman could hurt me? In fact, I have been hurt by women such as my ex-friends.

Someone else told me I needed to wait five to ten years before I could even think about dating. Why I personally can’t wait five or ten years is because I am not getting any younger (I’m turning 33 this year), I can’t gain experience by putting off trying to date, and I live in a culture where couples are very common so it just reinforces my feelings of loneliness. It just comes off as too unrealistic. Just because I am depressed doesn’t mean I should be denied love. I would never abuse a partner. Having someone love me would make me happy.

I try to be interesting and engage with people but lately people have been giving me the cold shoulder and appear uninterested. I volunteered for an Asian American/Pacific Islander month event and I hoped I would make new friends as well as meet a potential girlfriend but the people I talked to were largely uninterested in even having casual conversations. It’s discouraging when you keep getting things like that.

 

[All-Rounder]

Theres some incidents you dont know of, they took place somewhere else.

Sometimes the less people know about what they need to do, the more they can relax. But Mark has a psych so im sure theyre taking care of these issues.