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My parents think im faking my symptoms.

S

Swiftykitty

Active Member
My parents think I’m faking my symptoms and they were like you never used to act like this . You have the diagnosis you don’t need to do anything to prove you have autism . This is so not true and it’s frustrating .

Is there anything that could have caused my symptoms to have become exzasparted in the last several years? I need an explanation for my parents because I can’t control my behaviors however much I would like to. And I do remember hand flapping in high school or even earlier but it’s true my symptoms have become exasperated .

Do you think that ABA therapy will help ?
 
I’ve read other members post here with a similar problem. I don’t understand why parents don’t believe a diagnosis! It must be very painful to have your struggles invalidated like that.
Sorry I don’t have any suggestions, just wanted to give support.
Oh, what would be the reason to fake the symptoms? What do your parents think you would gain?
 
Added stress? Your own acceptance of yourself and not trying as hard to hide the traits?
 
I have discovered the Dx does not matter. It's just a tool for them to exclude me as the weird one.

It could be autism or bipolar or schizophrenia or whatever.....it's still the eye roll. ANY dx equals---NOT LIKE US.

I used to think the autism dx would stop that eye rolling. Nothing changed. Like, "We knew you are screw up. We don't care WHAT the diagnosis is! Sheeesh......You are the odd one in the family!!"

My immediate family is not like this. I am fortunate that my immediate family cares. But go out one circle? Forget it. I have no worth no matter what the dx is.
 
My parents are also dumb! Try to be patient with them! I think of most people as a different species, and that helps me accept their unusual behavior more easily.

"Ah, this is normal behavior for one of their kind. Nothing to worry about. Doesn't really have anything to do with me. I shall carry on."

And when they think I'm weird or say something insulting, I just remind myself that it totally makes sense for them to be weirded out! A different species is suddenly just there, in front of them, doin' stuff! And if there's anything their species is not good at handling, it's something different in anyway to themselves. Xenophobia is like breathing to these people!

It comes naturally and feels good! ;)
 
To be honest I wonder at times how unintentionally influenced aspies are by what they read on the internet and such regarding traits. A lot of traits such as hand flapping is something observers look for in very small children as a telltale sign, and it's a bit of an old school misnomer. Yet I read adult aspies talk about hand flapping a lot. Like it's something they feel they're supposed to be doing.
 
It depends on what the symptom is... some symptoms can vary in intensity according to stress levels, such as sensory sensitivities - some can become harder to control, mask or tolerate when one is anxious or under stress. But I also think that @Ezra has a point, as we can be quite chameleon-like and perhaps subsconciously adopt or act out some symtoms we read about, especially stims.
 
Symptoms and traits are two different things and I may be confusing one with the other since I did not have any specific examples to go by.

Then again traits are also often a manifestation of symptoms. When people ask "is this [particular fidget] stimming", I say it's not what they are doing, but rather why they are doing it that matters.

I'm not sure about studying autism too much. Whether it's a good thing or bad thing. I personally have not read much about it compared to many it seems.
 
I've been reading about Asperger's and autism for over 30 years and I've recognised things in myself that I may not have attributed to AS before. The observations and guidelines regarding symptoms and traits have changed a lot in that time too, so what was considered true in 2000 may not be so in 2018.
I don't think I've ever picked up a behaviour that wasn't present previously but I can certainly say that stress and fatigue can make it more difficult to mask and exacerbate my anxiety. I can appear "more autistic" at such times.
As to parents, they never accepted I was AS and continued to think I was deliberately non conformist through my adult life. That's just the way it goes with some people :)
 
Swiftykitty said:
My parents think I’m faking my symptoms and they were like you never used to act like this . You have the diagnosis you don’t need to do anything to prove you have autism . This is so not true and it’s frustrating .

Is there anything that could have caused my symptoms to have become exzasparted in the last several years? I need an explanation for my parents because I can’t control my behaviors however much I would like to. And I do remember hand flapping in high school or even earlier but it’s true my symptoms have become exasperated .

Do you think that ABA therapy will help ?
Click to expand...
Another thought. Could it be that since your diagnosis, your parents are just picking up on more traits that they probably didn't notice before and now everything you do, they look at differently?
 
No they are right I didn’t used to stomp my feet and bang on tables and smack myself . I mostly just hand flapped and squeezed myself.
 
At least they are not telling you you are faking your symptoms before your diagnosis.

I have a slight distaste in calling some of that symptoms
 
My mother is worried that I might start using my autism ad an excuse, and I was worried that she was gonna think that because I don't. Last night, I was just talking a little bit about when I was stimming my hands, and I said that thanks to my diagnosis that I knew why. Then my mother was confused on how that made sense. This is why I avoid talking to people. I can never say the right thing. And then I feel humiliated, being called out for it. It's mostly when I'm talking or just trying to have a conversation with my mother. I can't even get the right thing out.
 
Swiftykitty said:
Is there anything that could have caused my symptoms to have become exasperated in the last several years?
Click to expand...

Many of my traits and behaviors became more pronounced with time alone.

Especially my sensitivities. Most of which I didn't even begin to experience until adolescence. Something I had great difficulty with in attempting to explain to my parents. Perhaps just another reason my autism wasn't discovered when medical professionals had the chance. Though I was already an adult by the time the medical community began to seriously examine and adopt the research of Dr. Hans Asperger.

In essence, to me my own autism was anything but a consistent, linear process of progression. If anything it was a rocky road, strewn with potholes.
 
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They're most likely saying that because they don't understand autism as well as you, an autistic person, does.
 
AuBurney Tuckerson said:
My mother is worried that I might start using my autism ad an excuse, and I was worried that she was gonna think that because I don't. Last night, I was just talking a little bit about when I was stimming my hands, and I said that thanks to my diagnosis that I knew why. Then my mother was confused on how that made sense. This is why I avoid talking to people. I can never say the right thing. And then I feel humiliated, being called out for it. It's mostly when I'm talking or just trying to have a conversation with my mother. I can't even get the right thing out.
Click to expand...

From the information here, you didn't say anything wrong. She did. She should be posting on a forum somewhere and talking about how she can't say the right thing. Remember that other people can be wrong, too. That might sound obvious but I've struggled with that too.
 
It was suggested to me not so long ago that when I didn't understand something that was supposedly obvious, that my explanation of it possibly being down to my AS was an excuse. I told the person who made the comment that I found it quite insulting, I've never once used my difference as an excuse for anything, though it can be a legitimate reason.
Their reply was: "Well if I was autistic I'd use it as an excuse all the time. I could be as rude as I wanted or play dumb when it suited me and It'd be the perfect 'get out of jail free card' wouldn't it?"
To which I could only reply: "You're not autistic whilst I am, and it would never occur to me to use something like that as an excuse. If that's one of the differences between people like me and people like you then it's one I'm glad of."

To be fair, I'm sure some of us DO use it as an excuse from time to time, but I know I never have and I'd be surprised if many of us had done so regularly.
 
That fear of a sense of entitlement. I'm inclined to think it does drive the impressions of many non-autistic people. While it can happen, it probably involves some rather small numbers of people.

That we might be prejudged on a suspicion that we are attempting to aggrandize ourselves through a claim of autistic traits and behaviors. When in most cases all we are attempting is to explain what we have, through no fault of our own.

Something incredibly difficult to explain to those of a very different mindset and neurology. Tragic perhaps to think that it's easier to accuse someone of faking it than to struggle to understand what it's all about.
 
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