My hobby is making me want to die

[Ya Boi]

I got back into playing Warhammer 40k recently, excited to be playing it again after years of not playing. But ever since I started I haven't won a single match. Every time I play I get beaten, and the last three games I did went so badly that I had to forfeit in the middle of round two because I lost so many units or was insanely behind on victory points.

Every time I leave the game, I feel miserable and my mind keeps obsessing over how bad I am. I lost because I made bad decisions; I lost because I'm an idiot and don't know all the rules or when to do things; I lost because some divine force hates me and manipulates luck to give me bad rolls; I lost because I made the mistake of wanting to play. It ends up feeling like a reflection of my life. All I do is make mistakes and bad decisions. I mess up everything I do or just do things wrong. I'm too stupid and don't know things or can't do things right. There's some divine unseen force that hates me and is going to do everything in its power to make me miserable.

All these things are happening either because or to show that I'm a terrible person. It's even made me think that I should just die so I can finally stop being a total screw up. I'm also starting to debate selling all my stuff and abandoning the hobby since I'll never do good at it. I could spend money to buy better stuff but I feel guilty anytime I buy anything related to it because it's so expensive and I don't have a lot of room to keep them; and even if I spend hundreds of more dollars to get the best stuff, I'll probably still fail because I'm me. Yet a part of me still tells me not to do that because I'll regret it if I did, even though I know I will never win.

I've been told that I'm worried too much on winning and should just focus on having fun with and making friends with people. There are two things about this. One, this again shows me how wrong I am about everything since I'm going in with the wrong mindset. And two, I don't know how to do that, since it feels like the point of playing the game is to win and if I don't win it just means I'm wrong and terrible at playing. Yet I also know that getting upset over losing may be stopping me from making friends, which makes me feel even worse.

I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of everything.

 

[Matthias]

Losing a video game doesn't reveal much about yourself. It definitely does NOT reveal that you're an idiot, a loser, a failure, that some divine force hates you, or that you will never be good at anything. Those are all cognitive distortions that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you overcome. CBT is also an effective treatment for depression and suicidal thoughts.

 

[Aspychata]

You perhaps became obsessive about winning? Like is there something going on that made winning the only thing to make you feel better? Should you play something that makes you feel horrid about yourself?

 

[Slime_Punk]

One of the reasons why I don't game is because I'm such a sore loser, lol. And even when I did, I never played online because gaming culture is so incredibly toxic and unhealthy (unless you're playing with friends, of course).

Mostly, I only like to engage in things that I can enjoy even in the face of failure.
If failure hurts that bad, it's time for me to move on.

 

[Raggamuffin]

You've listed what you dislike about the game. I suggest you treat it like a relationship - does the bad outweigh the good? Do you still find enjoyable qualities in your hobby, or is it time to try something else, or dedicate your time to something else?

Ed

 

[Stuttermabolur]

@Matthias @Silhouette Mirage just so you know, Warhammer 40K is not a video game (though there are computer versions of them), but rather a sort of "Fantasy War reenactment game". You buy figurines (which are very expensive), often paint them and then play against another player on a model sized battlefield, and use dice rolls to determine outcomes of battles. I don't play it myself, but my uncle was really into it and probably spent thousands on this hobby as it's really expensive. I'm not saying this invalidates any of your points, I am just giving out info for people who are curious about the hobby. I think @Raggamuffin has some good points, and it's also good to keep in mind that this is a good way to meet people who might have similar interests, though there might be cheaper and less frustrating ways to do that.

 

[Darkkin]

A hard truth about hobbies, they can become a literal addition, just like drugs or alcohol. The activities work to stimulate the exact same areas of the brain, but instead of a chemical trigger, it is a physical trigger.

When those triggers fail to elicit the expected rush it can result in a tide of negative emotion brought on by a chemical imbalance. A majority of folks know how it feels to win, being denied that endorphin rush can trigger some very intense emotions.

A huge positive is that the OP is conscious of the intensity and atypical nature of the emotions. One of the toughest and most logical things to do. Work on control and set reasonable boundaries. Feel yourself getting upset about a bad roll? Step back immediately.

Set a timer to moderate gaming time. A required recall cue can help. Set a budget limit for books and accessories.

Just like with a gambling addiction the game is the trigger for the wanted pleasure, but it can easily become toxic and result in major negative consequences.

 

[Judge]

Life does have its share of winning and losing. But there are just too many real world concerns to allow a video game to set the bar on such considerations.

Perhaps the most constructive thing would be to walk away from such activities altogether, treating it as a possible addiction rather than a source of entertainment.

Ironically, it was easy for me to walk away from computer gaming having worked at a major game publisher/developer many years ago. Learned from the inside how customers are treated like garbage and how the whole biz is geared to appeasing shareholders. Where buggy games were released on schedule to meet quarterly objectives rather than create and sell a sound product.

 

[Ya Boi]

Life does have its share of winning and losing. But there are just too many real world concerns to allow a video game to set the bar on such considerations.

Perhaps the most constructive thing would be to walk away from such activities altogether, treating it as a possible addiction rather than a source of entertainment.

Ironically, it was easy for me to walk away from computer gaming having worked at a major game publisher/developer many years ago. Learned from the inside how customers are treated like garbage and how the whole biz is geared to appeasing shareholders. Where buggy games were released on schedule to meet quarterly objectives rather than create and sell a sound product.

Warhammer 40k isn't a video game. It's a tabletop game played with miniatures I've spent hundreds of dollars on and years collecting, assembling, and painting. When I talked about giving up on it, I was thinking of selling or dumping all those models and cutting ties with the game entirely. And I at most play this game once a week, yet it still destroys me whenever I lose.

 

[Owliet]

I got back into playing Warhammer 40k recently, excited to be playing it again after years of not playing. But ever since I started I haven't won a single match. Every time I play I get beaten, and the last three games I did went so badly that I had to forfeit in the middle of round two because I lost so many units or was insanely behind on victory points.

Every time I leave the game, I feel miserable and my mind keeps obsessing over how bad I am. I lost because I made bad decisions; I lost because I'm an idiot and don't know all the rules or when to do things; I lost because some divine force hates me and manipulates luck to give me bad rolls; I lost because I made the mistake of wanting to play. It ends up feeling like a reflection of my life. All I do is make mistakes and bad decisions. I mess up everything I do or just do things wrong. I'm too stupid and don't know things or can't do things right. There's some divine unseen force that hates me and is going to do everything in its power to make me miserable.

All these things are happening either because or to show that I'm a terrible person. It's even made me think that I should just die so I can finally stop being a total screw up. I'm also starting to debate selling all my stuff and abandoning the hobby since I'll never do good at it. I could spend money to buy better stuff but I feel guilty anytime I buy anything related to it because it's so expensive and I don't have a lot of room to keep them; and even if I spend hundreds of more dollars to get the best stuff, I'll probably still fail because I'm me. Yet a part of me still tells me not to do that because I'll regret it if I did, even though I know I will never win.

I've been told that I'm worried too much on winning and should just focus on having fun with and making friends with people. There are two things about this. One, this again shows me how wrong I am about everything since I'm going in with the wrong mindset. And two, I don't know how to do that, since it feels like the point of playing the game is to win and if I don't win it just means I'm wrong and terrible at playing. Yet I also know that getting upset over losing may be stopping me from making friends, which makes me feel even worse.

I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of everything.

Hobbies can be all consuming and sometimes when you put a lot in to it , it can be difficult if things don’t work out the way you want them to.

I used to play WoW, I had played it since Wrath and I used to do mythic and raid. I was a bit obsessed with it. I used to main dps and on my shaman before they messed the spec up heal and started learning how to tank with my paladin. I was bad at tanking at first and I almost quit but a guild mate took me on a run (ok, my dad but still he was a guild mate and I still had to ask him and give him in game gold for helping me) and showed me how to tank, I eventually gained confidence in the ability to tank, and once ended up the “only man left standing” on a last boss And won.

I know that Warhammer is a card game, and I think the rules still apply. If you enjoy it despite the frustrations and want to improve so you feel like you’re improving, you ask for help, or find a place to play with others and LEARN from them how to improve. However, if it’s desperately making you unhappy to this extent, then Walk away. You can always go back to it.

 

[Matthias]

Warhammer 40k isn't a video game. It's a tabletop game played with miniatures I've spent hundreds of dollars on and years collecting, assembling, and painting. When I talked about giving up on it, I was thinking of selling or dumping all those models and cutting ties with the game entirely. And I at most play this game once a week, yet it still destroys me whenever I lose.

That helps explain why it affects you so much. The time and effort you put into Warhammer 40k probably caused you to feel an emotional attachment to it. Everyone experiences more intense emotions when something is more important to them. Since you're focused on your goal of winning, you're going to feel worse when you lose.

I recommend keeping your models since it's likely you'll miss them given how much you've invested into it and regret your decision to get rid of them later which may cause you to feel worse than you do now.

I've been told that I'm worried too much on winning and should just focus on having fun with and making friends with people. There are two things about this. One, this again shows me how wrong I am about everything since I'm going in with the wrong mindset.

Mindsets aren't right or wrong. There are advantages and disadvantages of different mindsets which results in some mindsets being more helpful or beneficial is some situations compared to other mindsets but that doesn't mean any of them are wrong.

Focusing on winning will help you feel good if you win but feel worse if you lose. Focusing on having fun and making friends can help you feel better regardless of whether you win or lose. Therefore, you're probably better off focusing on having fun and making friends when you play.

However, your current mindset may be more beneficial in other situations. For example, if you worked as a salesperson, focusing on winning (making sales) would probably be more beneficial and help you earn more money than adopting a mindset where you focus on having fun being friends with your co-workers which could get you fired.

And two, I don't know how to do that, since it feels like the point of playing the game is to win and if I don't win it just means I'm wrong and terrible at playing. Yet I also know that getting upset over losing may be stopping me from making friends, which makes me feel even worse.

Most people learn how to think from their parents and other people in their lives. If your parents frequently stressed the importance of good grades, success, achievement, and accomplishment more than friendships because they wanted you to go to college and get a career your enjoy where you earn enough to support a family, you're naturally going to focus more on winning.

It will be hard at first to focus on having fun and making friends but if you keep doing it while you play it will get easier and eventually become a habit. You'll need to remind yourself that games are different than school or careers where being successful is more important.

 

[Misery]

And two, I don't know how to do that, since it feels like the point of playing the game is to win and if I don't win it just means I'm wrong and terrible at playing.

I can tell you right away, this is exactly the wrong way to look at it.

If you lose at something, well... there's an opportunity there. But you cant progress unless you spot it for what it is.

When defeated, you can do one of two things: You can go "woe is me", OR, you can go the route you should be going, which is to analyze and learn from what happened. It's that second one you should be going with, since learning = improving.

I've always said, you can learn more from a defeat than a victory. And, even if it's 1000 defeats in a row... you can still learn more and more and more. How do you think someone ACTUALLY becomes good at whatever? I've spent a lot of time playing fighting games competitively, which are notorious for having an atrocious learning curve. When I started out, it seemed like I'd never get anywhere. But dagnabit I just sort of declared "I'm going to do this, one way or another" and you know what, by never giving up no matter what, eventually I hit a level of skill that actually got kinda boring, because nobody could put up a fight against me anymore.

You could do that too (though without the boredom part), in a competitive game like that (or in whatever hobby you choose to partake in). You could get super good at it like that. But the process isnt even going to get started if you go the "woe is me, I lost" route. Rather, if you do that, you'll actually go BACKWARDS. After all, how are you supposed to win at something when you start out believing you have already lost?

It aint just competitive stuff either. It could be something like, say, art. You try to paint something, and it just doesnt come out right. It seems like you cant do it. But... you dont give up. Again and again, you try, refusing to give up. Eventually you'll have that magic moment when the built up skill results in something special. And then it happens again. And again, and again...

I dont remember where I heard it, but there's a phrase that I feel sums it up a bunch: "A loser is someone who gives up after failing. A winner is someone who fails until they achieve victory". And that's a perfect way of looking at it.

You can be the "winner" there. Seriously, you can. But only if you allow yourself. Stop saying "I cant" and start saying "I can", no matter how many times you're beaten, and eventually, it'll be you doing the winning.

But also, a better attitude towards this can sort of bleed over into other aspects. If you've got a better attitude towards competing, well, you're also going to get along with people that much more when playing with/against them. That sort of attitude, that POSITIVE outlook, is how you make friends within a given hobby. Seriously, that's what does it.

Also in case it isnt obvious, this is "general" advice, not just advice in relation to a competitive game. It can be applied to all sorts of things, and the real point is about confidence and attitude.

Beyond all that though, with Warhammer do remember that it IS just a game. If you're letting it mess with you beyond its own boundaries, that is a whole problem in and of itself. I strongly suggest keeping your hobbies varied a bit. Focusing too much on just one thing can be an issue. I'd say, maybe take a bit of a break from 40K, like, come back after a week or two with a fresh outlook and whatnot.

 

[Gerontius]

Warhammer 40k isn't a video game. It's a tabletop game played with miniatures I've spent hundreds of dollars on and years collecting, assembling, and painting. When I talked about giving up on it, I was thinking of selling or dumping all those models and cutting ties with the game entirely. And I at most play this game once a week, yet it still destroys me whenever I lose.

Sometimes, it's healthier to rstore your own interests. You have skills, I see that because you've been building your miniatures. What I'd do is:
Keep your model-building supplies.
Sell most of your Warhammer figures. I'm sure there's plenty of basement types, stewing in their own Dorito crust, who'd pay beaucoup bucks for them.
Take model-building and figure out a way to do it at a non-competitive basis. I've seen a lot of military dioramas in museums--the local museum in town has a very old diorama with lead soldiers showing the Battle of Camden in the American Revolution. They went through & took every historical detail of their uniforms, flags, colors, all that--and painted old-time lead soldiers to look like the actual units present on that day.
Also, joining the model railroad clubs in your area would be another thing--Model railroading is not always competitive, but can be.
The reputation of Warhammer 40K makes it sound like the only one who REALLY wins is the guy who sells his stuff and doesn't lose a bunch of money!

 

[madisen622]

i agree with a few comments above, you shouldn't determine your worth on whether you're good at a game. i think you should try taking a break, it might help with how you're feeling. making friends and having hobbies are important, but if you're feeling as unhappy as you describe i don't think sacrificing your mental and/or physical health is worth it.

 

[Judge]

Warhammer 40k isn't a video game. It's a tabletop game played with miniatures I've spent hundreds of dollars on and years collecting, assembling, and painting. When I talked about giving up on it, I was thinking of selling or dumping all those models and cutting ties with the game entirely. And I at most play this game once a week, yet it still destroys me whenever I lose.

Oh the old school version. Sort of like the original D&D? I was thinking of the one on Steam. My bad!

Steam Franchise: Warhammer

Official home of Warhammer video games

store.steampowered.com

But either way, it sounds like you need to abandon playing it. No form of entertainment should "destroy" you. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Destructobot9]

Oh man, I feel your pain! I've been playing 40k on and off since 5th ed and what you're describing can be really frustrating. Even if you go into it with the intention that you're just going to play to have fun and make friends, it's super demoralizing to lose game after game (damn you dice gods!).

I also super relate to that feeling of an aspect of your life and it's associated failures (real or perceived) feeling like it represents you as a person. Even if you can intellectualize that that's not true, it's a super ****** feeling and my heart really goes out to you (virtual hug).

First and foremost, if playing 40k makes you want to die, please don't. If the hobby is putting you into a crisis state, it's probably best to take a break and give yourself some space to regulate. I'm currently on a break from the hobby myself, you can jump back in whenever you want.

If you want to keep at it, I can offer some tips that have helped me get the most out of the hobby over the years, especially through some serious losing steaks:

- Make the weirdest list you can imagine. I LOVE doing this. Someone says a certain unit can't do the work? What if you pour 750 points into support to make that unit an absolute beast? Love a certain model or unit but it always underperforms? Make it the center of your list and build around it. The beauty of this is that you go into a game knowing that you're probably going to underperform, but you're going to do it whacky and in a super fun way that can have hilarious outcomes on the board. Super fun.

- Try playing smaller games to get the hang of the rules. There's so many of them! Playing smaller games then scaling up can really help simplify things and teach you the rules gradually.

- Watch battle reports on YouTube to see how other people play the game, also another great way to learn about all the different factions and their rules. My favorites are Tabletop Tactics and Tabletop Titans.

- Try a crusade league! Much less competitive, games start smaller and you gain experience over time. The narrative aspect can be super cool too, highly recommend.

- Talk to your opponent after the match and dissect how the match went (only if you feel like you have the capacity for it afterwards though). You can learn a lot about how they thought the game went, how they thought things were going and what they would do differently. Also a good way to make friends : )

- Try a new army. I've built 3 over the years and at least one always loses because of their rule set. 40k has HUGE balance issues right now and the way some factions play are auto wins or loses, so starting or trading into something new could be a breath of fresh air. Right now, my GSC and Necrons are super hard to win with but man, my Death Guard clean house.

- Find your people. The right gaming group makes worlds of difference and you won't care if you lose. Or you find people that you always win against ; )

- Get different dice. Sometimes some dice just consistently roll bad or it's a placebo thing but new dice can be magic.

- I usually recommend folks don't sell their models. You're probably going to get the itch to play again in a while if you do and you're going to kick yourself for getting rid of your stuff. But you know what's best for you and if that's selling your stuff or burning it all in the fires of catharsis, do it.

Hope that helps and that you find joy in the hobby again. Hope to run into ya on the tabletop sometime : D

 

[Aspychata]

Oh man, I feel your pain! I've been playing 40k on and off since 5th ed and what you're describing can be really frustrating. Even if you go into it with the intention that you're just going to play to have fun and make friends, it's super demoralizing to lose game after game (damn you dice gods!).

I also super relate to that feeling of an aspect of your life and it's associated failures (real or perceived) feeling like it represents you as a person. Even if you can intellectualize that that's not true, it's a super ****** feeling and my heart really goes out to you (virtual hug).

First and foremost, if playing 40k makes you want to die, please don't. If the hobby is putting you into a crisis state, it's probably best to take a break and give yourself some space to regulate. I'm currently on a break from the hobby myself, you can jump back in whenever you want.

If you want to keep at it, I can offer some tips that have helped me get the most out of the hobby over the years, especially through some serious losing steaks:

- Make the weirdest list you can imagine. I LOVE doing this. Someone says a certain unit can't do the work? What if you pour 750 points into support to make that unit an absolute beast? Love a certain model or unit but it always underperforms? Make it the center of your list and build around it. The beauty of this is that you go into a game knowing that you're probably going to underperform, but you're going to do it whacky and in a super fun way that can have hilarious outcomes on the board. Super fun.

- Try playing smaller games to get the hang of the rules. There's so many of them! Playing smaller games then scaling up can really help simplify things and teach you the rules gradually.

- Watch battle reports on YouTube to see how other people play the game, also another great way to learn about all the different factions and their rules. My favorites are Tabletop Tactics and Tabletop Titans.

- Try a crusade league! Much less competitive, games start smaller and you gain experience over time. The narrative aspect can be super cool too, highly recommend.

- Talk to your opponent after the match and dissect how the match went (only if you feel like you have the capacity for it afterwards though). You can learn a lot about how they thought the game went, how they thought things were going and what they would do differently. Also a good way to make friends : )

- Try a new army. I've built 3 over the years and at least one always loses because of their rule set. 40k has HUGE balance issues right now and the way some factions play are auto wins or loses, so starting or trading into something new could be a breath of fresh air. Right now, my GSC and Necrons are super hard to win with but man, my Death Guard clean house.

- Find your people. The right gaming group makes worlds of difference and you won't care if you lose. Or you find people that you always win against ; )

- Get different dice. Sometimes some dice just consistently roll bad or it's a placebo thing but new dice can be magic.

- I usually recommend folks don't sell their models. You're probably going to get the itch to play again in a while if you do and you're going to kick yourself for getting rid of your stuff. But you know what's best for you and if that's selling your stuff or burning it all in the fires of catharsis, do it.

Hope that helps and that you find joy in the hobby again. Hope to run into ya on the tabletop sometime : D

What a great gaming coach you are.

 

[Ya Boi]

Oh man, I feel your pain! I've been playing 40k on and off since 5th ed and what you're describing can be really frustrating. Even if you go into it with the intention that you're just going to play to have fun and make friends, it's super demoralizing to lose game after game (damn you dice gods!).

I also super relate to that feeling of an aspect of your life and it's associated failures (real or perceived) feeling like it represents you as a person. Even if you can intellectualize that that's not true, it's a super ****** feeling and my heart really goes out to you (virtual hug).

First and foremost, if playing 40k makes you want to die, please don't. If the hobby is putting you into a crisis state, it's probably best to take a break and give yourself some space to regulate. I'm currently on a break from the hobby myself, you can jump back in whenever you want.

If you want to keep at it, I can offer some tips that have helped me get the most out of the hobby over the years, especially through some serious losing steaks:

- Make the weirdest list you can imagine. I LOVE doing this. Someone says a certain unit can't do the work? What if you pour 750 points into support to make that unit an absolute beast? Love a certain model or unit but it always underperforms? Make it the center of your list and build around it. The beauty of this is that you go into a game knowing that you're probably going to underperform, but you're going to do it whacky and in a super fun way that can have hilarious outcomes on the board. Super fun.

- Try playing smaller games to get the hang of the rules. There's so many of them! Playing smaller games then scaling up can really help simplify things and teach you the rules gradually.

- Watch battle reports on YouTube to see how other people play the game, also another great way to learn about all the different factions and their rules. My favorites are Tabletop Tactics and Tabletop Titans.

- Try a crusade league! Much less competitive, games start smaller and you gain experience over time. The narrative aspect can be super cool too, highly recommend.

- Talk to your opponent after the match and dissect how the match went (only if you feel like you have the capacity for it afterwards though). You can learn a lot about how they thought the game went, how they thought things were going and what they would do differently. Also a good way to make friends : )

- Try a new army. I've built 3 over the years and at least one always loses because of their rule set. 40k has HUGE balance issues right now and the way some factions play are auto wins or loses, so starting or trading into something new could be a breath of fresh air. Right now, my GSC and Necrons are super hard to win with but man, my Death Guard clean house.

- Find your people. The right gaming group makes worlds of difference and you won't care if you lose. Or you find people that you always win against ; )

- Get different dice. Sometimes some dice just consistently roll bad or it's a placebo thing but new dice can be magic.

- I usually recommend folks don't sell their models. You're probably going to get the itch to play again in a while if you do and you're going to kick yourself for getting rid of your stuff. But you know what's best for you and if that's selling your stuff or burning it all in the fires of catharsis, do it.

Hope that helps and that you find joy in the hobby again. Hope to run into ya on the tabletop sometime : D

Thank you so much for your advice. Ultimately, I decided not to sell or get rid of any of my models. However, I still feel unsure about continuing to play. I have this weird optimism that maybe next time I'll win that seems to keep pushing me going to play each week. I'm thinking of not only doing what you said and trying smaller games but also trying to set smaller goals for myself, like surviving until round three or getting at least ten vp. But I fear I won't even be able to get those and get even more upset that I'm not even good enough to do those. I know the ultimate goal is to not get upset with losing, but it feels like that's going to be hard to do. This whole thing has also made me question if I should continue investing in it. I decided a few days ago that I should reframe from buying anything else for Warhammer, as I thought I shouldn't continue to was money on stuff that makes me upset. However, I found some really good eBay deals on some stuff I wanted to get, some would be for fun while others could help me win battles. So now I'm torn if I should buy them knowing this hobby isn't bringing me a lot of happiness or not buy them and miss out on really good deals I may never see again.

 

[Misery]

I found some really good eBay deals on some stuff I wanted to get, some would be for fun while others could help me win battles.

This right here is one of the reasons I never got into Warhammer even when presented with the opportunity.

If my opponent can just buy strength... where's the skill element? And similarly, buying strength myself always sounded so boring... I know myself well enough to know that I would end up nerfing my own armies on purpose and refusing to buy "strong" things just to keep it interesting, since being too strong bores me to tears and makes victories feel hollow. And whenever I did win, I would end up asking the same question every time: Did I *really* win? Or was the balance of power just off enough that it caused it to happen?

And I know this sort of company well enough to know that their entire business model is likely based on making players chase power endlessly (like WoTC does with Magic) while of course adding the collectable aspect. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say there's a "meta" that constantly shifts slowly over time so that you gotta keep up with it to truly play competitively and "keeping up" means buying the things that suit that meta...


Honestly, have you ever tried looking into playing something else? Something that offers a similar strategic gameplay style (if that's what you're in it for) but that doesnt have bits that are bent out of shape on purpose? And that perhaps doesnt require you to buy things non-stop for the same bloody game over and over.

I mean one way or another here, you are playing a lopsided game that isnt exactly doing a very good job pretending to be balanced. A game that is notorious for its cost and the greedy company behind it, no less.

I dunno, just something to think about. Particularly as it really doesnt sound like you're getting much fun out of it.

 

[Destructobot9]

Thank you so much for your advice. Ultimately, I decided not to sell or get rid of any of my models. However, I still feel unsure about continuing to play. I have this weird optimism that maybe next time I'll win that seems to keep pushing me going to play each week. I'm thinking of not only doing what you said and trying smaller games but also trying to set smaller goals for myself, like surviving until round three or getting at least ten vp. But I fear I won't even be able to get those and get even more upset that I'm not even good enough to do those. I know the ultimate goal is to not get upset with losing, but it feels like that's going to be hard to do. This whole thing has also made me question if I should continue investing in it. I decided a few days ago that I should reframe from buying anything else for Warhammer, as I thought I shouldn't continue to was money on stuff that makes me upset. However, I found some really good eBay deals on some stuff I wanted to get, some would be for fun while others could help me win battles. So now I'm torn if I should buy them knowing this hobby isn't bringing me a lot of happiness or not buy them and miss out on really good deals I may never see again.

Glad to hear that you're thinking of sticking with it! Those sound like great goals and I think they're totally achievable. Hope you're able to be patient with yourself and not beat yourself up while trying, there's A LOT to learn about the game and it takes time. I've been playing it for years and still only have like a 50/50 win/loss rate.

I think focusing on secondaries and survivability are great places to start. The shift to incorporating secondaries into your strategies can be pretty tricky but really pays off. It's still something I struggle with, I learned to play in the day of "just blow everything off the table."

Survivability can also be really tough this edition since everything is super killy. The terrain rules and defensive placement are your friends, some armies can afford to be super aggressive and barrel up the board but most need to have a mix of that and being cagey.

A big part of winning matches too is knowing what your opponent's army is capable of. If you aren't already, I'd recommend chatting with them before had to get an idea of what their different units can do in terms of movement, damage output and toughness. Again battle reports are great for this too.

In terms of buying stuff, I think it's different for everyone. I usually only get stuff once or twice a year just because I already have so much stuff that I haven't finished painting. If not winning is having an impact on how much you're enjoying yourself, I'd focus on getting the stuff that'll make your army stronger and more fun to play.

What faction do you play and what are you looking to get?