My 6 year old's behavior is out of control

[Rachel2787]

Hi everyone, I am new here . My 6 year old hasnt been officially diagnosed with autism/aspergers, but I am pretty sure she is on the spectrum, and so does her teachers and a behavior specialist. I just always knew something was different since she was 2. She has cried everyday since she was a baby. She flips out so easily, and has such bad anger outbursts. We also think she has adhd as well. So, the past few weeks, have been horrible. She will kick, scream, hit and scratch me , her teachers, her classmates, the kids on the bus and any playdates...I cant even set up playdates anymore, because of their outbursts. I tried talking to her and giving her tips , dont kick and hit, but use your words, stomp your feet, walk away and tell the teacher if you get angry. I told her many times yesterday and today, and she seemed to understand and was happy/content, well as soon as she got on the bus, while the driver was assisting with getting her on the seat, she got angry ( im not exactly sure why, I couldnt hear) , and she hit the kid behind her, but he didnt do anything that I saw, ( why would she hit him? ) and it took a few mins for her to calm down and sit...7:30 am , and she already starting freaking out! She can be happy and play nice, and she will say sorry but she keeps acting out...anyone can give me tips on what to do? does this sound like autism behavior? I talked to someone with autism , and they believe so.. I also forgot to say that, she is in the IEP program , and in a special program, and her school referred her to counseling for now

 

[BraidedPony]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[Sarah S]

Welcome to the forum and i agree she does seems to have some cind of Neuropsychological diagnose / Multiple diagnosis so i would also suggest demand a evaluation ASAP so that they can determine what and if so how to best help her. Neither one of us in here can say she is on the Spectrum or not as only a professional evaluation can determine that

Youre absolutely right she needs help NOW as things won't improve and the longer you wait the more problems will occur im afraid . so this is what you need to try to get in motion as soon as humanly possible & if the School dont whant to then go to the docs. and DONT accept a no or we will see.

The temper changing and acting out is also a sign of possible ADHD i should add but also of course ASD

 

[Rachel2787]

Welcome to the forum and i agree she does seems to have some cind of Neuropsychological diagnose / Multiple diagnosis so i would also suggest demand a evaluation ASAP so that they can determine what and if so how to best help her. Neither one of us in here can say she is on the Spectrum or not as only a professional evaluation can determine that

Youre absolutely right she needs help NOW as things won't improve and the longer you wait the more problems will occur im afraid . so this is what you need to try to get in motion as soon as humanly possible & if the School dont whant to then go to the docs. and DONT accept a no or we will see.

The temper changing and acting out is also a sign of possible ADHD i should add but also of course ASD

Hi there, Yes I agree. Ill go back to her pediatrician as well , thank you

 

[Sarah S]

Glad if i can be at any help (btw i also was that aggressively out acting in her (well around there ) age and i was firstly diagnosed with ADHD the other stuff they found later so she needs to have recurring evaluations thru out as its not uncommon for us girls to be diagnosed with ASD later in life. This being said up to 80 % that have ADHD also have ASD tho as its one of the long list of co morbid diagnosis to ADHD .hence i say probably mutlible Neuropsychological diagnosis

Good luck

Ps try to read as much as you can reg this and ASD (theres alot of info on the net ) so you know more and can better argue with the docs as well as understand youre daughter better

 

[Aspychata]

Can you homeschool? l did this since second grade. It wasn't too difficult. Check your state laws? Can you find a different school? Can you take her to school cutting down on her stress until she can handle the bus. l hated busses. My daughter had a few issues, l complained. There was a teenager on her bus, and he was smoking cigs.

 

[TardisRepair]

I would definitely follow what the others have said and not take no for an answer from your doctor to get neuro testing for ASD.

If and when your child does get diagnosed, depending on the state you live in I have read lots of autistic parents have had luck with a THC/CBD blend for managing such outbursts you have mentioned. I would definitely recommend looking into it yourself and not trusting a stranger, so Google something along the lines of "Israel THC autism treatment" since Israel is leading the research.
Although I've never really been violent, THC has considerably helped me manage my symptoms a bit better, and I hope to switch to a higher CBD ratio.

 

[Autistamatic]

Meltdowns are a stress reaction. Adult autistics have meltdowns too, but we often know what triggers them and avoid the aggravating stimulus. Have you worked out what circumstances, events, places or intractions trigger meltdowns and tried avoiding them yet? Like you would if they had a food allergy?
Meltdowns are not bad behaviour needing treatment or management, they're a cry for help.

 

[TardisRepair]

Meltdowns are a stress reaction. Adult autistics have meltdowns too, but we often know what triggers them and avoid the aggravating stimulus. Have you worked out what circumstances, events, places or intractions trigger meltdowns and tried avoiding them yet? Like you would if they had a food allergy?
Meltdowns are not bad behaviour needing treatment or management, they're a cry for help.

While this is true, if just about everything or even something that you just *can't* change are the triggers, it absolutely needs management. But I do strongly hold your view that you should work to avoid the triggers in the first place.

 

[Rachel2787]

thanks everyone for replying...I stay at home with the baby, so I am too busy , plus when she has these violent outbursts, she will keep hitting and attacking the baby( 1 yr old) , so there is no way I can home school her . I actually tried CBD oil and I dont think it worked! Maybe She needs more than a dropper ? Today has been so terrible, she attacked everyone on the bus, the teachers, and her classmates..all day non stop..it's getting worse and I dont know why! I cut out food dye, I read about that...anything sets her off now..She will just attack me and the baby out of no where now..I dont know if this is a bad idea,but I felt like I had no choice, but I just locked her in her room..Ill give her up to 15 mins maybe though and check on her. It seems to work, but sometimes, as soon as I open the door, she will kick and hit me.
Has anyone heard of acetyl l carnitine hcl vitamin? I was reading it about for me , but then I found info . on how it helps kids with autism and adhd?

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome @Rachel2787 .

If you and the school suspect autism, do not look to a pediatrician to make the call.

Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Finding Support Resources in the USA...

 

[Sarah S]

Different medicines only in general for this or any diagnosis is not going to solve the problem im afraid (i havent been on any medicines for any of my diagnosis myself. And over here they recently have been expressed concerns and proof of possible negative outcomes about the meds given to ADHD and other neuropsychological diagnosed children for example karolinska hospital a well known hospital in this kind of diagnosis in Sweden ) The main help should be professional support from someone certified in Neuropsychological diagnosis in general and NOT only as seems to be the case in here only focus on Autism. Yes i agree she might very possibly have ASD 2 or even 3 (higher on the Severe scale then my self ) but she also strikes me as perhaps multiple other diagnosis.

I agree with Autistamatic that her lashing out is probably her frustration and yes she screems for help. I also agree that since she is also going after the baby while in this stage she needs to be kept away from it during this phases or behavior. i can also easy see how this might precent a problem with only you at home and with the baby (which btw is NOT a mistake) . Trying out different CBT oils and what not and different methods on line and by hear say without knowing what her possible diagnosis are is NOT productive & could also backfire. So i would strongly advise against this. The lock down i understand you have no choice when she is this way so i cant say anything about that. All i can say is again she most defenetly needs professional help ASAP from wherever depending on what country youre in.

In short she needs professional help. (You dont need to be cert professional to see this) That can help her learn how to better control her possible diagnosis + as as i said a professional evaluation so its clear what or wich diagnoses she has and from there work out what's best for her to get her diagnosis in some order. And sadly the school will probably not be able to help much longer so you need to talk to them as well as i fear its only a matter of time before she will be expelled from school and the buss. As i said things will just getting worse day by day so sadly this is in my opinion eminent to be addressed at youre earliest convenience.

 

[Rachel2787]

Different medicines only in general for this or any diagnosis is not going to solve the problem im afraid (i havent been on any medicines for any of my diagnosis myself. And over here they recently have been expressed concerns and proof of possible negative outcomes about the meds given to ADHD and other neuropsychological diagnosed children for example karolinska hospital a well known hospital in this kind of diagnosis in Sweden ) The main help should be professional support from someone certified in Neuropsychological diagnosis in general and NOT only as seems to be the case in here only focus on Autism. Yes i agree she might very possibly have ASD 2 or even 3 (higher on the Severe scale then my self ) but she also strikes me as perhaps multiple other diagnosis.

I agree with Autistamatic that her lashing out is probably her frustration and yes she screems for help. I also agree that since she is also going after the baby while in this stage she needs to be kept away from it during this phases or behavior. i can also easy see how this might precent a problem with only you at home and with the baby (which btw is NOT a mistake) . Trying out different CBT oils and what not and different methods on line and by hear say without knowing what her possible diagnosis are is NOT productive & could also backfire. So i would strongly advise against this. The lock down i understand you have no choice when she is this way so i cant say anything about that. All i can say is again she most defenetly needs professional help ASAP from wherever depending on what country youre in.

In short she needs professional help. (You dont need to be cert professional to see this) That can help her learn how to better control her possible diagnosis + as as i said a professional evaluation so its clear what or wich diagnoses she has and from there work out what's best for her to get her diagnosis in some order. And sadly the school will probably not be able to help much longer so you need to talk to them as well as i fear its only a matter of time before she will be expelled from school and the buss. As i said things will just getting worse day by day so sadly this is in my opinion eminent to be addressed at youre earliest convenience.

I agree, I just need get her seen. Her pediatrician was no help, because they didnt want to send her over " to get labeled" ..ugh reallly?!? lol. No, I am wanting to get her help. I took her at 5 years old and also suggested ADHD,but they didnt say anything about it...where else can I go? I think here you need referrals . I found a place , but it costs over $1000 ! I'm going to do more searching today, and see what I can find, while I wait for that place her school referred us to, to start .
Also, I feel really bad about this, but I have yelled back many times and screamed...I am just at my wits end & really stressed. I know it's no excuse, but would my screaming cause this behavior? She has been screaming non stop since she was a baby...and this behavior slowly started around 2-3 years old...I am working on being calm and trying to help her. She shows so many other signs of ADHD and autism though..Would my screaming alone cause all this?

 

[Sarah S]

="Rachel2787, post: 645223, member: 23216"]I agree, I just need get her seen. Her pediatrician was no help, because they didnt want to send her over " to get labeled" ..ugh wtf lol.

" im not surprised as thay whant to save money . sadly my mom had to fight teeth and nails against all the so called professionals all the time and god bless her she dident give up on me but i can tell you i was a little devil and im NOT proud of it "

No, I am wanting to get her help. I took her at 5 years old and also suggested ADHD,but they didnt say anything about it...where else can I go?

" It all depends on were you live and what country "

I think here you need referrals . I found a place , but it costs over $1000 ! Im going to do more searching today, and see what I can find, while I wait for that place her school referred us to, to start .

" YIKES !!! well over here (sweden ) its all on the tax bill so the parents dont have to go bankrupt to help there kids . (we should also keep in mind that back in my days they dident know diddly about this diagnosis BUT i was also suggested a special school for this and similar diagnosis but it was my mom that stopped that one and i dont blame her she did what she thought was best for me BUT had i gotten the help i needed back then (ie youre daughters help ) i might have not been were i am today (check my profile and signature ) "


Also, I feel really bad about this, but I have yelled back many times and screammed...I am just at my whits and really stressed. I know it's no excuse, but would my screaming cause this behavior?

" First DONT blame yourself youre only human dear lord knows m mum and step dad had living nightmare with me (my reel dad left when i was still at the hospital ) "

Second in general when you scream back at her alredy fired up its like throwing gasoline on an ongoing fire .And it will sadly only either or both fire her up more or make her even more confused and scared /worked up frustrated etc..... then she alredy was "

She has been screaming non stop since she was a baby...and this behavior slowly started around 2-3 years old...I am working on being calm and trying to help her. She shows so many other signs of ADHD and autism though..Would my screaming alone cause all this?

" i have to agree with you that i do see MANY signs of ADHD as well as most defenetly ASD (you should also know that 80 % that has ADHD also have ASD and to this too diagnosis there are a TON of comorbid diagnosis as well to which i can also sence based on what youre describing multiple of of = hence its vital she gets a thural evaluation

In my opinion as i said before and based on how i work its NOT a good idea to be screaming or aggressive /confrontational against me when im said rage. as i will only get more fuel on my fire Its better to try to calm me down. And i also belive her reason for doing this is as Autstamatic says shes screaming for help out of both frustration , confusion most probably fear and this is how she deals with it. in other words she is as lost as lost can be in this word and she really needs help in trying to get her life in order

Btw here are some excellent links reg female ASD

Aspienwomen: Moving towards an adult female profile of Autism/Asperger Syndrome

And heres reg female ADHD https://www.verywellmind.com/add-symptoms-in-women-2039

keep in mind that all of this diagnosis are also highly individual and also different between boys and girls (bacikly in us girls its harder to detect as we are more subtle in our ways to display our tics ) and its not uncommon for us that they dont find ASD until were adult

 

[Nick12]

HI I AM JUST BEING HELPFULLL MABY YOU NEED TO CHANGE HER DIET THARE IS A BOOK CALLED TRACKING DOWN HIDDEN FOOD ALLERGY I HOPE I HELPED I WISH YOU AND YOUR CHILD A VERRY VERRY HAPPY DAY