Make a Spectrum Joke from....

[tree]

A man was walking his dog through the cemetery at 6 am.
He noticed Sheldon crouching
behind a tombstone.

"Morning!" he said.

Sheldon: "No. Defecating."

 

[StephF]

An Aspie was taking a short-cut through a graveyard at night when he saw a small wizened creature sitting by a gravestone crouching down, holding his head in his hands.

The Aspie said "Goblin ?" and the little man replied "NO ! I've got a ****ing headache. Go away !"

 

[tree]

Yo'Mama is so aspie that she finds it difficult to function comfortably in neurotypical society, preferring instead to exchange remarks on a forum where rules are clearly laid out , conversation is slower and can be edited.

 

[StephF]

I think that puns are funny

 

[tree]

An Aspie was taking a short-cut through a graveyard at night when he saw a small wizened creature sitting by a gravestone crouching down, holding his head in his hands.

The Aspie said "Goblin ?" and the little man replied "NO ! I've got a ****ing headache. Go away !"

I think the little man with the headache could be the Aspie, in this situation.
He is the one misunderstanding the question and responding tactlessly.

 

[tree]

I think that puns are funny
View attachment 16387

Puns are fun.

It's possible to adapt these to the premise of this thread if they are couched within story telling scenario.
Each pun needs a set up/nominal description, sort of like a person reading a comic to a small child.

Sheldon might be at a party (or a funeral, for that matter, since aspies are rumored to be somewhat unaware of what is considered socially appropriate). He decides the affair needs to be livened up, so he begins to tell a story.

'It seems that animals in the jungle can speak and had the following verbal transactions.:
The Koala says, " I have the necessary koalifications."
The Elephant replies, "Your koalifications are completely irrelephant."
The King of Beast butts in: "Don't listen to him. He's lion."'
And so on.

This is an instance, I think, where the graphic representations do more justice to the puns.
The joke would be on Sheldon, in this case, because some humor is better seen than heard.

 

[zipit29]

an aspie and her dad were walking on the street one day. The dad says "aw, a dead bird". The aspie looks up into the sky and says "Where?!"

 

[tree]

What does the Gymnogyps californianus have in common with
the lockable means of ingress and egress at San Quentin Prison?

Answer to the Question, "What does the Gymnogyps californianus have in common with
the lockable means of ingress and egress at San Quentin Prison?"
They are both condors.

 

[StephF]

Groan !

 

[StephF]

That is veritably flagellating a deceased equine !

 

[tree]

Sheldon: Some celebrities are donating their time and effort to a humanitarian project.

A group of cartoon characters have volunteered to fight sickness in areas of the 3rd world
where overcrowding & lack of access to clean water render people vulnerable to Vibrio C. infection.
The Smurfs are thought to be the first blue cholera workers.

 

[zurb]

Customer: How much is that duck?
Aspie Shopkeeper: Ten dollars.
Customer: Okay, could you please send me the bill?
Aspie Shopkeeper: I'm sorry, but you'll have to take the whole bird.

 

[zurb]

Tourist: How would you describe the rain in this part of the country?
Aspie: Little drops of water falling from the sky.

 

[tree]

A fairy appears in the philosophy class and speaks to the old professor:


"As a reward for your sustained profound thinking and your inspired teaching, I grant you a wish. You may choose between great material wealth, a long and healthy life, or final insight and wisdom."

The professor answers without hesitation: "For a true lover of wisdom there can only be one choice. I choose insight."

The fairy grants the wish and disappears.
After a while one of the students reluctantly breaks the silence: "Sir...tell us, what have you learned?"

The professor looks up with a dazzled expression: "I should have taken the money."

As a stock character the Professor displays these traits which are considered typically Aspie:

• Flat, or blank expression much of the time
• Doesn't always recognize faces right away
• Being "in their own world" / Preoccupied with their own agenda
• Highly gifted in one or more areas, e.g. math, music, etc
• Can spend hours in the library researching, loves learning and information

The Punch Line (the Professor's personal downfall---and strength) illustrates the attribute of
Internal motivation – as opposed to being motivated by praise, money, bills or acceptance.
... a job done with conscience, with personal pride.

help4aspergers.com - List of Asperger Traits

 

[tree]

How is a white-board like any aspie?

It is REMARKABLE.

 

[tree]

What qualities related to asperger's are illustrated?
Literal thinking (the word 'thesaurus' is visualized as a saurian creature)
The dinosaur is offering synonyms, rather than conversation, in response to the human's interjection.

 

[tree]

You may be a Redneck Aspie if, while researching Redneck Joke sites
you come across a joke so objectionable
that you post a link to it (#14 on the list) YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ...
on the grounds that the statement is inaccurate, and thus cannot
be funny.

[I don't think those people ever ate a possum in their lives. The cooked meat is all dark.]

 

[tree]

"Why did the aspie cross the road?"

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the aspies like their stims, they can keep their stims. No aspie will be required to cross the road to give up any stims. Period.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the aspie crossed the road. We need to stop thinking about the individual and start thinking about what is best for society.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the aspie crossed the road. We just want to know if the aspie is on our side of the road or not. The aspie is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that aspie.

AL GORE: I invented the aspie. Some people find that truth inconvenient.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the aspies cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the their intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this aspie won't realize that she must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before going after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help her realize how stupid she is acting by not taking on her current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the aspie is having problems, which is why she wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the aspie learn from her mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this aspie a NEW CAR so that she can just drive across the road and not live her life like the rest of the aspies. (In response to Producer: What? She can't drive?)

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is an aspie, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That aspie crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MR. ROGERS: The aspie crossed the road because it was such a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

PEE WEE HERMAN: I know you did, but what am I?

THE SPHINX: You tell me.

JACK NICHOLSON: 'Cause he (censored) wanted to cross the (censored) road.That's the (censored) reason.

 

[qwerty]

"Why did the aspie cross the road?"



BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the aspies like their stims, they can keep their stims. No aspie will be required to cross the road to give up any stims. Period.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the aspie crossed the road. We need to stop thinking about the individual and start thinking about what is best for society.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the aspie crossed the road. We just want to know if the aspie is on our side of the road or not. The aspie is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that aspie.

AL GORE: I invented the aspie. Some people find that truth inconvenient.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the aspies cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the their intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this aspie won't realize that she must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before going after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help her realize how stupid she is acting by not taking on her current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the aspie is having problems, which is why she wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the aspie learn from her mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this aspie a NEW CAR so that she can just drive across the road and not live her life like the rest of the aspies. (In response to Producer: What? She can't drive?)

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is an aspie, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That aspie crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MR. ROGERS: The aspie crossed the road because it was such a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

PEE WEE HERMAN: I know you did, but what am I?

THE SPHINX: You tell me.

JACK NICHOLSON: 'Cause he (censored) wanted to cross the (censored) road.That's the (censored) reason.

Lol
Love this

 

[tree]

What qualities related to asperger's are illustrated?
Literal thinking (the word 'thesaurus' is visualized as a saurian creature)
The dinosaur is offering synonyms, rather than conversation, in response to the human's interjection.

Maybe this image will last.
The post doesn't make any sense without the picture.