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Make a Spectrum Joke from....

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by tree, Mar 27, 2015.

  1. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Some days I read Jokes on reddit. Today I saw one that by substituting a word, becomes a spectrum joke.

    reddit version =

    An old man goes to a job interview....
    The HR Director asks him: "What would you say is your greatest weakness?"

    The old man replies, "Honesty"

    The HR Director says, "I don't really think honesty could be considered a weakness."

    To which the old man says, "I don't really give a crap what you think"

    Substitute aspie for 'old man.'
    If you know or come across others that adapt well, post here.

    (Yeah, I know this joke is old & the attitude is stereotypical in both versions.
    What I am interested in is the process of adaptation and the result.)
    ;)
     
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  2. zurb

    zurb Eschewer of Obfuscation

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    The Pastor and church leaders were going to be away for the whole weekend for a retreat, so they needed someone to do the sermon for the rest of the church on the Sunday. Knowing the young aspie man would be diligent in the role, he was duly asked and he accepted.
    Being very anxious, he spent every spare moment preparing for his upcoming sermon. However, despite his preparation, he was still very nervous when the time came.
    As he stood in front of the congregation, his hands searched inside the pulpit for something with which to fiddle to ease his nerves. Eventually they settled on a small nut, and he was able to work out some of his anxiety by playing with it.
    As he spoke, everyone seemed enraptured with what he was saying, everyone's eyes were fixed in his direction. Surely, he thought to himself, the preparation has paid off.
    After the meeting, a church member approached him, and shook his hand declaring 'Fascinating sermon, truly fascinating.'
    As our young aspie was about to reply that he felt he had everyone eating out of his hands, the church member continued 'Yes, the whole time you were speaking, the cross on the front of the pulpit was frantically spinning!'
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2015
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  3. StephF

    StephF Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    An Aspie walks into a bar and gets a headache. It was an iron bar !
     
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  4. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    The old man approaches the aspie at the ATM.
    "I've lost my glasses, son. Will you help me check my balance?"
    So the aspie gives him a shove & topples him over.
    Aspie: "Your balance is insufficient."
     
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  5. inabox

    inabox Don't EVER give up V.I.P Member

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    That made me giggle :)
     
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  6. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    NT walks into a barber shop.
    Asks, "Bob Peters here? "

    Aspie barber replies: "Nope. Just hair."
     
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  7. inabox

    inabox Don't EVER give up V.I.P Member

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    Erm.. Can you explain that one please? [emoji15]
     
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  8. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes, I can.
    :pensive:
     
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  9. inabox

    inabox Don't EVER give up V.I.P Member

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    hehe , Ok. My mistake. What i should have said was "Would you please explain that?" [emoji1]
     
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  10. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    NT walks into a barber shop.
    Asks, "Bob Peters here? "

    Aspie barber replies: "Nope. Just hair."

    OK...here goes.
    NT = neurotypical; barber shop is a place to get a hair cut.
    Bob Peters is a person's name, a proper noun.

    When the NT asks the truncated question, "Bob Peters here?" the aspie barber misunderstands.
    The barber supposes the NT is using the word 'Bob' as a verb.
    Bob cut - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    A little boy may refer to his penis as a 'peter.'
    So, the barber responds negatively to the question.
    He does not perform surgeries/circumcisions, although barbers used to do surgery.
    Barber surgeon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    This barber only cuts hair.

    Some humor is to be derived from the aspie completely missing the social question
    and responding in what seems to him to be the literal sense.
     
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  11. zurb

    zurb Eschewer of Obfuscation

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    Oh, and here was I thinking the aspie barber thought the new comer was asking if the hair on the floor belonged to Bob. Too complex for me - I'm a simple (and apparently naive) lad :)
     
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  12. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Interesting interpretation.
    There would need to be an apostrophe in the last name to indicate possession, though.
     
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  13. zurb

    zurb Eschewer of Obfuscation

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    No apostrophe needed as the aspie misunderstood what was said not written.
    Here 'here' and 'hair' are said the same (same as bare/beer/bear :) ). You have a blend/sliding vowel on one?
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2015
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  14. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Where I live, 'here' and 'hair' are not pronounced the same.
    Some people pronounce 'pen' and 'pin' identically.

    This has opened up new areas for me to think about.

    Bob Peters was the name I saw in the joke originally.
    If a person is not familiar with that 'little boy' term, the joke fails.

    In some areas, the man's last name could be Cox. Where I grew up, that would make
    the joke rude. "Peter" was generally used by 8 year-olds, but 'cock' was an overtly sexual word
    more likely to be used by teens.

    So I went with the original wording, except for making the characters NT & Aspie.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2015
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  15. inabox

    inabox Don't EVER give up V.I.P Member

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    Thank you for clarifying. I was not aware of that use of the word "peter". But I don't talk with small people about peters, and I've never been a boy, small or otherwise.
    But I understand now. The only thing i could think of before was the barber thought the NT was referring the the hair on the floor, and maybe .... Sweeney Todd-style.. Bob Peters had somehow been scattered , in bits, across the floor amongst the hair. ..
    That sounds a little bit disturbing. I'm pleased it's just about .. Hang on, your version isn't much less disturbing. Especially if I had a peter of my own. I might have nightmares tonight!! [emoji33]
     
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  16. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I have never been a little boy either, but there were boys at my school.
    Also, I had 6 male first cousins.
     
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  17. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    OK----"Make a Spectrum joke from any joke of your choosing..." is open-ended.
    The freedom makes it difficult. Changing a story that follows a clearly defined format is easier.
    To wit....all those "Why did the aspie cross the road?" alterations.

    What if a proper name is imposed for the aspie character?
    How about calling the aspie character...Sheldon?
    The format is still open.

    Here goes:

    What type of gum does Sheldon prefer?

    aspergum

    Comments welcome.

    To summarize, the idea in this thread is to Make a Spectrum Oriented Joke, from any joke of your choice,
    with the stipulation that the autistic or aspie character be named Sheldon.

    .

     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2015
  18. StephF

    StephF Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Ok thwn, I'll have a go.

    Why did Sheldon cross the road ?

    To catch the bus to work because Leonard refused to drive Sheldon to work due to Sheldon's annoying characteristics. :D
     
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  19. zurb

    zurb Eschewer of Obfuscation

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    From pun of the day:
    An aspie goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

    The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
     
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  20. StephF

    StephF Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I learn one thing today.
    Never tell a girlfriend with Asperger's, "I'm so hungry I could eat a scabby horse".

    Although, I can't fault her resourcefulness. :D
     
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