Lady Lucifer
Rejected Disney Princess
I tried to keep this post as clean as I can. I mostly made it, so I can understand sex through an aspie POV. I have put spoiler tags on top of certain paragraphs or phrases when I felt they were a bit more graphic and/or controversial.
Not that this will happen to me in the near future, but this is something that I have been thinking about a lot for the last three days or so. But I've been thinking a lot about losing my v-card as an aspie woman.
I've been in a few romantic relationships, but none of them have lasted longer than a month. I also struggle with keeping platonic friends. Ever since I was in high school, I developed a speacil rule, when it comes to my romantic relationship. The rule is that I need to date a person for at least a year, before I decide I want to lose my virginity to him. This way, I know the man cares about me, as he has waited this long. I also know that I can trust him and that relationship has lasted a long time. I'm not sure if that rule will still apply after my virginity is gone.
I've always had intrest in sex. I like talking about it. In fact, its one of my speacil intrest. I like to know the psychology of kinks and turn offs. I'm part of a kink forum as well, despite me never getting intimate with anyone.
Sex education wasn't great at my school. At least my school address the basics, but I always wanted to know more. What are STDs? How do I prevent them? How does one know their sexual orientation? Why do people have to be monogamous? My parents talked about it...but i never had a great conversation with them, as they are aspies as well. (and narcissts)
Most of my sexual education was self taught by the internet. Ironically, not by porn! I used to go on google to ask whatever sex question I had. (i.e: do all women have hymens?) I also used to sneak in Cosmopolotion only to read the love and sex section, becuase my grandma hated me reading a "pornographic" magazine. That taught me a lot about sex as well. I also had a psychologist, who was also a family friend, teach me about sex.
Its funny, I was never into porn. I never looked at it when I was younger, as my parents were invasive. I remember this one time, I had my screensaver of a slide show of my favorite Naruto characters. My dad walked in on a suggestive (but not graphic) picture of Itachi. My dad and I exchanged awkward glances and he just left. I did read a lot of erotic fan fiction, growing up. (I hid that pretty well)
So I had a conversation with an aunt I discussed sex with. (We all have that one relative) The conversation was I was confused about my own sexual orientation. I no longer felt straight after reading the pornographic cartoon. But I didn't feel like a lesbian either. I didn't feel asexual either, as I was still attracted to me, just not naked men. And she said that this was normal.
As I got older, I started to get more accustomed with naked bodies. Thats when I started joining kink forums. I felt that I was more attracted to men, who weren't an adult enterainers. (Male strippers can't get me going either. I feel that they are a bit over the top for my taste. I'm also selective when it comes to my fantasies, of what a man should look like) I identify as a hetrosexual. (Though I have a huge girl crush on Nicki Minaj and Britney Spears) Still a virgin, but I'm okay with that.
So I would like to know your experiences with sex (or inexperiences) while being an aspie. Male, female, nonbinary, etc. I'm also open to hearing different sexual orientations while being an aspie. Or even if your NT with an aspie partner. What is sex like for you? Did you have a similar experiance than I did? I'm curious to know.
Edit: I decided to remove the question I had about fantasies. I slowly realized what I had gotten myself into by asking such questions. The main idea of this forum is to share your sexual experiences through the lens of an aspie. Or an NT dating an aspie.
Not that this will happen to me in the near future, but this is something that I have been thinking about a lot for the last three days or so. But I've been thinking a lot about losing my v-card as an aspie woman.
I have a long history of sexual abuse, as early as second grade. I was never penetrated, but I have been groped, stalked, violated, and encountered invasive sexual comments or questions in my life time. I remember a vague memory I had, after my first encounter with sexual harassment, that I developed a fear of being touched. I remember it started with my dad. He wanted to give me a hug, and I just pushed him away. This still happens to this day.
I've been in a few romantic relationships, but none of them have lasted longer than a month. I also struggle with keeping platonic friends. Ever since I was in high school, I developed a speacil rule, when it comes to my romantic relationship. The rule is that I need to date a person for at least a year, before I decide I want to lose my virginity to him. This way, I know the man cares about me, as he has waited this long. I also know that I can trust him and that relationship has lasted a long time. I'm not sure if that rule will still apply after my virginity is gone.
I've always had intrest in sex. I like talking about it. In fact, its one of my speacil intrest. I like to know the psychology of kinks and turn offs. I'm part of a kink forum as well, despite me never getting intimate with anyone.
Sex education wasn't great at my school. At least my school address the basics, but I always wanted to know more. What are STDs? How do I prevent them? How does one know their sexual orientation? Why do people have to be monogamous? My parents talked about it...but i never had a great conversation with them, as they are aspies as well. (and narcissts)
It was REALLY awkward with my dad. Becuase when I was younger, I used to think that he was sexually attracted to me and wanted to rape me.
Most of my sexual education was self taught by the internet. Ironically, not by porn! I used to go on google to ask whatever sex question I had. (i.e: do all women have hymens?) I also used to sneak in Cosmopolotion only to read the love and sex section, becuase my grandma hated me reading a "pornographic" magazine. That taught me a lot about sex as well. I also had a psychologist, who was also a family friend, teach me about sex.
Its funny, I was never into porn. I never looked at it when I was younger, as my parents were invasive. I remember this one time, I had my screensaver of a slide show of my favorite Naruto characters. My dad walked in on a suggestive (but not graphic) picture of Itachi. My dad and I exchanged awkward glances and he just left. I did read a lot of erotic fan fiction, growing up. (I hid that pretty well)
I finally decided, at about 18 or 19, that pillow humping wasn't getting me off one night. I couldn't reach a climax and was just unsatisfied and frustrated. So I tried some visual stimulation and wanted to actually witness some adult entretainment. I decided to start with some vanilla hentai, as I felt real people would be too intimidating. And there were some titles I liked (and still enjoy)...until I went deeper into the rabbit hole and felt really....confused.
I had never seen a man naked, other than my father, when I was really young. And my younger brother, again when I was really young. So seeing a naked man in the hentai felt really....gross. I felt like I was looking at a wet hot dog. (I don't eat hot dogs by the way) And I knew what a female body looked like...but certain angles in the hentai (even the vanilla ones) were...unsettling and gross. I felt like female gentalia was monster holes in a horror movie.
I had never seen a man naked, other than my father, when I was really young. And my younger brother, again when I was really young. So seeing a naked man in the hentai felt really....gross. I felt like I was looking at a wet hot dog. (I don't eat hot dogs by the way) And I knew what a female body looked like...but certain angles in the hentai (even the vanilla ones) were...unsettling and gross. I felt like female gentalia was monster holes in a horror movie.
So I had a conversation with an aunt I discussed sex with. (We all have that one relative) The conversation was I was confused about my own sexual orientation. I no longer felt straight after reading the pornographic cartoon. But I didn't feel like a lesbian either. I didn't feel asexual either, as I was still attracted to me, just not naked men. And she said that this was normal.
As I got older, I started to get more accustomed with naked bodies. Thats when I started joining kink forums. I felt that I was more attracted to men, who weren't an adult enterainers. (Male strippers can't get me going either. I feel that they are a bit over the top for my taste. I'm also selective when it comes to my fantasies, of what a man should look like) I identify as a hetrosexual. (Though I have a huge girl crush on Nicki Minaj and Britney Spears) Still a virgin, but I'm okay with that.
So I would like to know your experiences with sex (or inexperiences) while being an aspie. Male, female, nonbinary, etc. I'm also open to hearing different sexual orientations while being an aspie. Or even if your NT with an aspie partner. What is sex like for you? Did you have a similar experiance than I did? I'm curious to know.
Edit: I decided to remove the question I had about fantasies. I slowly realized what I had gotten myself into by asking such questions. The main idea of this forum is to share your sexual experiences through the lens of an aspie. Or an NT dating an aspie.
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