Ladies with ASDs

[Geordie]

So a shoutout to all ladies here:

Do you think being a female Aspie/Autie affects you in any way, like say the social or emotional aspects?

 

[Tigris]

great question! Women and girls with ASDs are often underdiagnosed. I am not sure if the problem is the same here in UK. but the problem in singapore is a bit serious. Most people still think that Autism is a guy's only disorder. Actually it's both. And the sexual ratio is a myth

 

[superboyian]

My girlfriend has autism aswell and basically it would affect her moods in certain ways like she would used to struggle making friendships and she would at times be emotional/angry due to the fact she felt very insecure that the fact nobody understood her.

This was before she happened to grow out of it.

But what I've also noticed is, over the years, she has become very self-conscious of her own body image and always wanted to be thin and never wanted to see herself as a fat person.

But yea, everyone is different and ASDs in females/males affect them all in different ways, some are more severe than others but we are all individuals.

 

[Tigris]

But how different will they be from guys with ASDs.

I feel that most psychologists still diagnose ASDs based on the symptoms that occur in the male and wrongly apply them to a girl which doesn't work that way.

 

[Kit]

I've noticed how aspie girls are different than aspie boys. Girls tend to be more social, they talk more, they are more emotional, their obsessions isn't with objects, it's with subjects instead, they aren't as geeky and nerdy because they are less likely to be into math and science and they tend to have more of a imagination so they are more likely to do pretend play and they tend to be more clean so they will tend to shower and wear clean clothes. This is in general I am speaking about. Aspie females can be good with math too and boys can also be obsessed with topics such as sports. My ex who was aspie was very emotional so he cried a lot and he also talked a lot and he did do pretend play and then lost it as he got older or was that BS?

I also read that women with AS tend to get married young and have kids young. AS is easier on women.

 

[Tigris]

But okay but what are the similarities? Like say "animal senses" aka sensory issues?

 

[IdahoRose]

I've noticed how aspie girls are different than aspie boys. Girls tend to be more social, they talk more, they are more emotional, their obsessions isn't with objects, it's with subjects instead, they aren't as geeky and nerdy because they are less likely to be into math and science and they tend to have more of a imagination so they are more likely to do pretend play and they tend to be more clean so they will tend to shower and wear clean clothes. This is in general I am speaking about. Aspie females can be good with math too and boys can also be obsessed with topics such as sports. My ex who was aspie was very emotional so he cried a lot and he also talked a lot and he did do pretend play and then lost it as he got older or was that BS?

I also read that women with AS tend to get married young and have kids young. AS is easier on women.

Everything you said about AS girls is true, at least from my personal experience. But I don't think AS is "easier" on us per se; it's just harder to detect because, as someone mentioned earlier in the thread, doctors have a tendency to view the diagnostic criteria based on the symptoms that males present with.

 

[GhettoButterFly]

So a shoutout to all ladies here:

Do you think being a female Aspie/Autie affects you in any way, like say the social or emotional aspects?

Kind of, but not really. I just have issues in socializing and "letting things be". That is about it.

I have more emotion and stuff. Technology is my game and passion.

Well, what else can I say? I am uniquely me.

 

[Tigris]

Also one thing I realise is that Ladies with ASD tend not to give off an Aspie Vibe like males do. I am not sure why though? Is it the attitude to women in a way or is it something more.

 

[superboyian]

Also one thing I realise is that Ladies with ASD tend not to give off an Aspie Vibe like males do. I am not sure why though? Is it the attitude to women in a way or is it something more.

That's true, then again also another thing, you'd find that most of the autistics being diagnosed are mostly boys and noticed more and I really don't know why?

 

[Tigris]

I think this has something to do with the way even NT girls and guys operate.

There is a saying that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus. Peacocks and peahens have sexual dimorphism on the feathers, we humans have it in the brain so as a result different ways of thinking.

If NT people have such differences already, I believe these differences can result in the under diagnosis of many female Aspies as they tend not to fall under the "male" autism attributes. There might be girls who have ASD but they may not even exhibit all the major symptoms that boys have. Like say one major identifying symptom is the lack of the desire to socialize, I have heard that most girls excluding cases like young Ms Temple Grandin have the innate desire to socialize and are very talkative. NT girls also talk and yak a lot. My observations of NT gals is that most of them are your archetypal gossip gals, gathering in groups and talking about ... well girly things. For girls with ASD, I am not sure why they often on the superficial side can blend in like chameleons, but internally they might be just as bullied as much as we males; red herrings superficially and internally.

In my country's local newspaper recently, they have reported about Autism in adults. But almost all the cases mentioned even in the photographs, are all males? Where are all the girls? My supportive parents still think that the ratio 4:1 still applies. But I am not convinced that it might not be the case.

Ladies what do you think?

 

[Droopy]

Where are all the girls?

They're on this forum. Plenty of them too.

 

[Tigris]

oh no no no I wasn't talking about Aspie Central. I was talking about my local newspaper. The writers whom I know done an excellent job highlighting the adult with ASDs but in all the examples, all of them are guys. I was puzzled as in where are the ladies. It's very unfair in my point of view.

 

[Droopy]

Yes, I know that. I was making a joke.

Back to the topic, I see your point and would share it.

 

[Geordie]

We always want to seek the viewpoints of female ASDs, especially in Singapore (my country). We should just instead note to ourselves:

Although we have not found any females with ASDs in Singapore, we should recognize that females have equal propensity to have autism as compared to other males. So if we do know any female Aspie, we should not witchhunt her or make her feel uncomfortable. We should just try to listen to her concerns and help her as far as we all can to face a common challenge: more solutions for our community. (Not just be part of the solutions to our problem, but to give solutions for society's problems in general as far as we can)

 

[Tigris]

When I first encounter the phrase Autism as a kid, I thought that my problem was a boy's only problem or disorder. But as I get older and from more knowledge from the net. It appears that it's not true.

Many factors I can see stem from the way NT females are treated in the first place especially in our local Asian community. If we are not treating women with the same attitude as men, how can you be sure that autism gender ratio is 4:1.

 

[Geordie]

Society by itself is a bit sexist...

 

[xrobertxdavisx]

I've only met one asd girl and she seemed nice but then started ignoring me which I thought oh it ok then but then she started bitching about me behind my back lol.

 

[Sipe]

Interesting... I haven`t ever met any Aspie girl (as far as I know anyway) so I can`t say anything. But I did think that Aspie girls are a bit different from boys and it seems I was right.

 

[whale_bone]

There's a theory that some of the girls who end up with anorexia are actually aspie. I don't know about that but I do think we tend to present differently (different socialization + genetics?) and its very easy to go undiagnosed. When I was a kid I was terrified of people noticing that I was different, so I poured all of my energy into trying to figure out patterns of behaviour and collected things to say to keep conversations going, imitated intonation and gestures as best I could. Mostly though I just did my best not to be noticed. So yeah I can pass for NT but not for too long because it is REALLY exhausting. I really don't think it's "easier" for us. Its really lonely and depressing living like that and it's especially ****** because we have less energy to enjoy our real interests. And it sucks too because although I might have lots of very superficial friendships, most people get really uncomfortable when they figure out that I can't maintain social stuff. And I understand why they are upset. I mean I'm basically lying to them right? I've only ever had one friend who is totally comfortable with me even when I've disappeared into my happy autistic place. I also have a few friends who are cool with a fair amount of eccentricity and awkwardness but still freak out if I get too autistic on them.
Positives:
-Less discrimination: I can BS job interviews and whatnot (they might say they're "equal opportunity" hiring... but they are lying)
-Because I've had to learn this stuff like an architect or something, Psych and Anthro come easily to me because I've always had to be aware of these things unlike my peers who don't notice, because it's so ordinary for them.
>>psychology and culture are things most people are casually interested in!
Negatives:
-Felt I had to suffer silently for most of my life.
-It took SO LONG to get the right diagnosis, because it was so hard to explain myself and I was scared they would decide I was a psychopath/ lost cause/ reject me.
-relationships are extremely frustrating, exhausting, and disappointing.


Sorry that was a very long answer!