Just depressed this morning, im sure this happens to everyone.

[deathgrip]

meh. So i am feeling very down and couldnt get much sleep last night. But now i dont feel like i could fall back asleep from how i am feeling.

i understand i am just super confused and that is bugging me.
Last night i was on the phone with my very close friend.
I was starting to talk about something particular that has made me feel really good lately and was touching further on it, and then my friend suddenly just "had to go", for some reason.
i even offered, "i dont have to talk about this anymore if its too much" i know i can be a lot.
so i dunno of it was from this or just generally needing to get off the phone, she still got off the phone, but i am left with much confusion. i do need to talk about this kind of stuff with someone and she seems to be the only one who would understand. We are going to hang out this weekend, but when i talk about this subject (i wont go into detail because its actually insane to most but it helps me, and i dont want to have to explain or feel any judgement, so i am going to keep the subject very private,) i feel like i drain her when i bring it up. and i feel guilty.

That above, plus just generally feeling crappy. i am not quite in the miserable section of depressed but i dont want to get there either. Someone called me a pig today on the internet and that didnt help much even though it really shouldnt bother me since it was completely annonymous. Maybe its because of lack of sleep and possibly over thinking the phone laat night. My noise sensory is putting me slightly on edge rhis morning also. it could just be this.

i was wondering too, if anyone ever felt this way with their friends. i am probably the weirdest of autistics and i dont feel like i can say why out in public on here. Unrelated to the subjext of discussion on tje phone, i need therapy really bad but its hard to find anyone in my area thats willing to help an adult. Thats the part of autism that i hate, not being able to get proper help as an adult. Does anyone become enraged knowing that too?
It was suggested from someone on here to find an occupational therapist and i am going to try that out next.
i get exhausted looking for help and need breaks from being rejected and denied over and over for always some seemingly ******** reason.

 

[garnetflower13]

I have gone through this many, many times where a friend seems to suddenly get distant and I wonder what I have done wrong, etc etc. Sometimes people just don't know how to express how they are feeling to you, or don't feel comfortable expressing how or what they are feeling, so they just opt to not say anything at all. And of course this leaves you feeling cut adrift, abandoned and in the wrong. I don't have any advice to offer you, maybe others here will have some, but I just wanted you to know that I have spent half my life wondering what I had done wrong. It may be that you did nothing wrong, it is just that your friend didn't know how to express herself at that moment. Take care!

 

[deathgrip]

I have gone through this many, many times where a friend seems to suddenly get distant and I wonder what I have done wrong, etc etc. Sometimes people just don't know how to express how they are feeling to you, or don't feel comfortable expressing how or what they are feeling, so they just opt to not say anything at all. And of course this leaves you feeling cut adrift, abandoned and in the wrong. I don't have any advice to offer you, maybe others here will have some, but I just wanted you to know that I have spent half my life wondering what I had done wrong. It may be that you did nothing wrong, it is just that your friend didn't know how to express herself at that moment. Take care!

it really helps to have others to relate on this with. advice is one thing.
maybe youre right and she didnt know how to react. i am also here for ideas from other perspectives so youre more helpful than you know. Feeling like i did sonething wrong all the time is aonething i do a lot of also. relating with other people,makes me feel closer to being human and less alone as im sure it does for others also.

 

[Tom]

I know I have a strong tendency to talk too much about my favorite subjects. Its usually with those closest to me, not just aquaintences, etc. People do get turned off by it, because they don't feel it is interactive or real anymore and that I am just talking at them. They have gotten to the point where they will just be curt and end it.

So I have made that a focus of self-improvement. Monitoring the conversation to make sure the other is actively engaged and looking very carefully for hints or body language on their part that tell me they are loosing interest. Then I stop and try to revive it by asking something about them.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I'm also struggling with finding adult support. The only thing available is ABA, and I don't like their approach. Challenge for me is trying not to take it too personally that my problems didn't matter as a child, and they don't matter now, except to me.

I'll say this: I've been known to drop the phone if I have to use a bathroom and can't wait any longer. Also been known to say, "I have to go" because I feel very tired or sick, and don't want to trigger a whole new conversation about how I'm feeling. So one of my metrics is "how long have I been talking?" And then, "do I know what matters to my friend today?" The latter question is more important than the former. Somehow I've managed to keep this friend for a decade.

It might be a good idea to ask if the subject is draining her, not just the amount of time you spend on it? I dunno.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Length of conversation does it in for me. One reason why my mom and I chat when she drives home from work is because it gives us a time limit to have our say without pushing the other past their limits. Sometimes I mentally assign different friends and relatives with different topics based on their preferences. I can talk about psychology to my mom, technology to my grandfather, math to both, and mechanical things with my dad and husband. It's not that I care about any of them less for not discussing certain topics to them, it's that I know it bores or confuses them. Maybe your friend is in a similar boat where she is not the right friend to discuss that thing with?

I'm pretty secretive too. There is a LOT of stuff I've wanted to say, but ended up closing the browser. Some things I won't even so much as hint at with the most obscure metaphor.

 

[deathgrip]

I know I have a strong tendency to talk too much about my favorite subjects. Its usually with those closest to me, not just aquaintences, etc. People do get turned off by it, because they don't feel it is interactive or real anymore and that I am just talking at them. They have gotten to the point where they will just be curt and end it.

So I have made that a focus of self-improvement. Monitoring the conversation to make sure the other is actively engaged and looking very carefully for hints or body language on their part that tell me they are loosing interest. Then I stop and try to revive it by asking something about them.

i understand this. i thought that could have been it, too. maybe i was talking too much. I have learned to ask about them and their day or etc, and then get to nyself because i tend to talk a lot about my favorite stuff for quite a long time. or something thats currently going on.

 

[deathgrip]

UPDATE:

well it indeed was a morning depression thing. i talked to my friend again today and everything was fine. i feel a bit silly now honestly.
i am going to go to her house tomorrow and maybe i am too excited now. we have been friends for ten years and i am very comfortable with her. i dont do things very often. i am good at make up,and all that but i dont like going to places where you require wearibg it (not required but would make you feel better if you had done some) tomorrow will be an ok day, i am happy to report.

 

[Greg]

There are a lot of times that I feel extremely depressed in the mornings and just want to stay in bed all day. I don't do this every day luckily. I have found for me that I just make myself get up and go. For the most part that works.

 

[watersprite]

That is what I try to do as well. Like Greg said. Although with me, for every day in which I get a lot of things done, there are several days in which I do not accopmplish anything on my list.