Is online interaction draining for you?

[Judge]

Sometimes. Though it's usually more a matter of what such a discussion entails than the personalities involved.

 

[Sarah S]

It can be, like I get fed up of having to report/block idiots on Facebook who flame me for both my Political views and views on Star Wars movies, like I voted remain for Brexit because I have no quarrel with immigrants, and I thought The Last Jedi was decent.

Yeah in my case i learnt a long time ago to keep my mouth shut and DONT reply in there.

Oh and i should also ad me and so called " social media " NOPE Only reason im in FB =Facebook is cause i can have contact with a few of my friends via messenger and also a few interest selling groups. (and even in those i stay silent and if a deal i will use messenger)

Side note to Mr Allen i have to admit the new run of Star wars is actually not to shabby

 

[Crossbreed]

In forums where I have a strong common interest, no.
They include:

• Autism,
• Christianity,
• Intellectualism/logic,
• All things 1:6 scale,
• Figurative art,
• Wide swathes of linguistics,
• Zoology & more...

In forums where I do not, they can be more tedious.

 

[George Newman]

Why am I shocked by the results of this questionnaire so far?

Over half of respondents say online communication is sometimes stressful. 68% of respondents say online communication is sometimes or always stressful.

Are we lumping the chat room with the forum? I find the chat room intimidating and a bit stressful but had blamed that on being over 40 years old ..... okay, OKAY! ... almost 50. I had not connected chat room discomfort to my autistic traits. I am more comfortable in this forum than I am in a face-to-face scenario.

So the other day another VIP here on the forum shot me a note about an unrelated subject.

After a bit of discussion back and forth I told this person that I really enjoyed the discussion and that I wondered why he didn’t comment or post more. His response relates to this topic and may very well represent many others here on the forum.

He said that he didn’t post or comment more because thoughtful communication takes time and that he simply was not in the position to make the time to thoughtfully and carefully contribute. He went on to say, “it stresses me out that I have value to contribute but not the time.” I would venture many feel the same way as my friend does.

Is the online communication stressful because we are fearful of not taking enough time to develope thoughtful communication?

I’m interested in the why the absolute most neutral form of communication is sometimes or always stressful.

Great thread! It has indeed taken an unexpected turn. One I would not have guessed.

Cheers!

 

[Nightingale121]

I voted "Other".

Not really. I can dip in/out of a conversation on a forum or chatroom far more easily than offline. It's also easier to get out of a negative interaction with someone.

I agree with this in general.
However, there are situations when I can't "escape" that easily, for example when it comes to business conversations/emails. These aren't usually "negative interactions" but rather formal and professional, but they can be draining in a way anyway and I can't just "walk away" even though it's online.
I think this also relates to this point:

it depends on the person i'm communicating with or what I'm communicating about so I put other

In general it's still less draining than offline social interaction though and I can handle far more business emails than phone calls with these people, for example. Plus, even if I can't avoid an interaction forever, there's still the advantage that I can take a break, calm down and reply later when I feel more capable of doing so.

In forums where I have a strong common interest, no.

This is a good point, too.
It doesn't only apply to text based interaction for me though. Conversations about interests are less draining and easier for me in general.

There is another aspect of text based interaction that is both an advantage and a (draining) disadvantage for me: It's possible to re-read and edit a text several times before actually posting or sending it.
It's good because thinking about a statement for a while and trying to figure out whether it's appropriate and understandable can be helpful to minimize the risk of misunderstandings.
However, I often overthink my texts in this process too much and edit them again and again, which can be draining at the end. The longer the text is the worse this gets obviously.
It can take me quite some time to write and edit a forum post because of this, especially because they often tend to be rather long due to my tendency to overexplain things.

This forum is probably the only place in which I worry less. I know there's no malicious sub-context, people just talk honestly and openly. I still try to explain things clearly so as not be misunderstood, but, it's not hard when I'm not being shady anyway.

I worry less here than anywhere else as well.
In fact, this is the place on the internet where I'm the most social in my free time. I visit other forums and sites as well, but don't participate that much.

The only time I may find it draining/difficult to 'socialise' here is when I feel like I need to reply to a lot of people; say if I make a thread, which I don't do often for this reason. I like reading people's replies, but, I freak out not knowing whether I'm meant to reply to everyone somehow, whether it'll be rude if I don't, even though I still appreciate the time they took to respond... so instead I hide away because that thought process is difficult in-and-of itself.

I can relate to this.
If I don't know what to reply to a reply, but want to show my appreciation in some way anyway, I usually try to find an appropriate rating ("like", "friendly" etc.) and rate the post. Then I hope that this is good enough and that people don't think I'm rude because of a lack of written replies to their replies.

The only other tiring thing is that whenever I get an Alert or message, my brain's first thought is something like, "oh no, what did I do wrong..." which I realize makes no sense because that's never happened here.

For me it's usually the opposite.
I worry more if I don't get any alerts because if there is no reply, I won't know whether I did something wrong and maybe upset a person, so they don't reply anymore, or overwhelmed everyone with a long post. Even if I did something wrong, I would prefer to know about it to learn and possibly avoid this mistake in the future.
So I am actually looking forward to further replies. Furthermore, I sometimes ask questions within a thread and am interested in a reply because of this as well.

 

[Loren]

...Is the online communication stressful because we are fearful of not taking enough time to develope thoughtful communication?

I’m interested in the why the absolute most neutral form of communication is sometimes or always stressful.

Great thread! It has indeed taken an unexpected turn. One I would not have guessed.

Cheers!

I take as much time as needed, and would, even, block out periods of time, to build on my communication skills. My anxiety/'fear' lies in various insecurities and some inabilities/deficits I possess. I have progressed in many ways, but, as you mentioned, further up the thread, or, within a different thread, our past experiences can, also, account for some of our fears, even, on a subconscious level. Im rambling, but, those are some reasons I hold back/ become reluctant.

 

[Monachopia]

Is the online communication stressful because we are fearful of not taking enough time to develop thoughtful communication?

I’m interested in the why the absolute most neutral form of communication is sometimes or always stressful.

Your observations on the topic were interesting You would think that being out of sight and having time to collect our thoughts and put them down would make communication easier and less stressful for us... But, I guess it's not always the case. As @Loren said, past experiences can account for our fears and insecurities. I know that I am too critical over everything I write/say and have fear of rejection and ridicule. Social anxiety makes it all difficult, no matter what form it takes.

Regardless of these things, it seems both @Nightingale121 and I (and I'm sure many others) feel more comfortable here than anywhere else, so that's at least a bonus.

 

[Major Tom]

I voted yes, rarely. Only because if I'm feeling drained by a person or situation, I can always just leave or press the blessed ignore button. In real life there is no ignore button, and often leaving isn't an option either.

 

[sidd851]

Your observations on the topic were interesting You would think that being out of sight and having time to collect our thoughts and put them down would make communication easier and less stressful for us... But, I guess it's not always the case. As @Loren said, past experiences can account for our fears and insecurities. I know that I am too critical over everything I write/say and have fear of rejection and ridicule. Social anxiety makes it all difficult, no matter what form it takes.

Regardless of these things, it seems both @Nightingale121 and I (and I'm sure many others) feel more comfortable here than anywhere else, so that's at least a bonus.

It's not necessarily ridicule or rejection that concerns me.
It is more the quality of what I am about to say that concerns me.
I value this community a great deal.
I've made connections here, frequently, that are rare or non-existent IRL.
Other people just aren't interested in subjects that interest me...
or thinking in general.
You kind people are the best conversationalists that I have ever met.

And so I am usually very careful about the quality of what I am about to share.

Edit: I also voted yes, rarely.

 

[the_tortoise]

Is the online communication stressful because we are fearful of not taking enough time to develope thoughtful communication?

For me, the answer is "no".

I'm not sure why my last post was rated 'funny', but, perhaps this is a good example of what I, personally, could be helped with, if we were to have a thread where I could ask, and my question would be answered. This, in itself would relieve some uncertainty and anxiety, to a large extent.

It could be unintentional -- sometimes people click on an icon beside the one they were aiming for.

 

[sidd851]

edit- I wonder if it would be productive to have a thread, specifically, for the purpose of developing social communication. Im not sure how it would be set up, but, perhaps, simply a place to express our thoughts on various, random topics, with a willingness to be constructively critiqued, and the ability to openly and honestly help others where they might be able to use it. Another thought, is, a place where one could post about their personal difficulties in understanding, or, how to, effectively, get a point accross in a particular thread, possibly limiting the fear of making mistakes, being judged, or whatnot.

Bang!

I just asked this exact question in PM, not 3 min. ago.
I like this idea very much.
Something a little more substantial than the chat room, but not as rigid as a thread topic.

Not chat, not discussion, but something in between, a little more natural seeming, to me.
I'm down.
(Can I vote for something else, entirely?)

 

[Loren]

For me, the answer is "no".



It could be unintentional -- sometimes people click on an icon beside the one they were aiming for.

Thank you!

 

[George Newman]

Your observations on the topic were interesting You would think that being out of sight and having time to collect our thoughts and put them down would make communication easier and less stressful for us... But, I guess it's not always the case. As @Loren said, past experiences can account for our fears and insecurities. I know that I am too critical over everything I write/say and have fear of rejection and ridicule. Social anxiety makes it all difficult, no matter what form it takes.

Regardless of these things, it seems both @Nightingale121 and I (and I'm sure many others) feel more comfortable here than anywhere else, so that's at least a bonus.

My apologies, Loren. I manage aspiesfirums.com from my iPhone. The rating icons are very small.

Almost every time I unintentionally select the wrong one. I meant to click “agree”. Instead I clicked the funny icon.

It’s my bad and you were right to call it out. I normally catch the error but I guess I was in a hurry. I apologize for the mistake. I didn’t mean to select the wrong icon. I have the utmost respect for your comments.

 

[Loren]

My apologies, Loren. I manage aspiesfirums.com from my iPhone. The rating icons are very small.

Almost every time I unintentionally select the wrong one. I meant to click “agree”. Instead I clicked the funny icon.

It’s my bad and you were right to call it out. I normally catch the error but I guess I was in a hurry. I apologize for the mistake. I didn’t mean to select the wrong icon. I have the utmost respect for your comments.

Please don't be sorry, as I should have considered that to be possible, and, I had thought perhaps, I had written something that could have been perceived as funny. But, it wasn't upsetting to me. Thank you, however, for your kind words, and for letting me know that you had done it mistakenly. : )

 

[tree]

Bang!

I just asked this exact question in PM, not 3 min. ago.
I like this idea very much.
Something a little more substantial than the chat room, but not as rigid as a thread topic.

Not chat, not discussion, but something in between, a little more natural seeming, to me.
I'm down.
(Can I vote for something else, entirely?)

But all threads are, ideally, for the purpose of communication.
What do you think people are doing when they are writing in threads,
if not communicating?

 

[sidd851]

@tree ,
My purpose was a little different.

I was looking for something more meaty than chat but lighter than a thread.
Something where the subject matter may be more fluid.


This is my first forum, though.

 

[tree]

Not all threads are profound (meaty) and not all Chat is frivolous.

Fluid subject matter sounds meandering and undirected, to me.
Do you want a stream of consciousness conversational thread?

 

[sidd851]

Not all threads are profound (meaty) and not all Chat is frivolous.

Fluid subject matter sounds meandering and undirected, to me.
Do you want a stream of consciousness conversational thread?

Lol
No. Er. Maybe?
What I envision may not even be feasible, in this setting.
I'll search through old threads, and see if there's anything like what I'm thinking.

 

[tree]

What you want sounds to me like a combination bull session
in the dorm, walk in the country side, visit to the museum/art gallery,
an opportunity to attend, as well as give, a lecture, all in the context
of a conversation thread.

 

[sidd851]

What you want sounds to me like a combination bull session
in the dorm, walk in the country side, visit to the museum/art gallery,
an opportunity to attend, as well as give, a lecture, all in the context
of a conversation thread.

Yup.
That pretty much covers it!

Please forgive my inexperience.