Is online interaction draining for you?

[Pats]

Lol
No. Er. Maybe?
What I envision may not even be feasible, in this setting.
I'll search through old threads, and see if there's anything like what I'm thinking.

Do you feel like you've just been called on by the teacher? LOL (sorry - had to go there).

 

[George Newman]

Yup.
That pretty much covers it!

Please forgive my inexperience.

Hang in there, sidd851. Ask for what you would like to have and don’t apologize. It will probably make it a better experience for us all. You and Loren have a good idea. Run with it as far as possible. Big smile.

 

[BraidedPony]

I find that chat is less stressful for me than threads. I ‘allow’ myself to post in chat without worrying too much about contributing anything useful. That takes a load off my shoulders.
In chat, If someone misunderstands something I say, then I can correct it right away.
And if chat gets stressful I can leave, again, I allow myself to just leave without worrying what the other members will think.

 

[Aru]

Offline i get drained super super quick and need to retreat to a place without people asap, I guess online is a little different because i feel i can escape easier if that makes sense, You can simply just log out or 'be right back' anytime you want on most things and a lot of the time you don't need to give a reason, Doing that in person is a lot harder and feels more awkward because people will usually ask why or see where you go, I do get drained if someone is constantly messaging me but as long as i have the freedom to leave it's not as bad and that's why i spent most hours on the internet in my life, I know i'm more safe here

 

[Otenba]

It usually is, yes, but it's also my preferred way for me to interact with others too.

 

[Echo]

I find my social anxiety extends to online interactions. (I voted "sometimes," but it's not a rare occurrence.) Some of it is my obsessive need to make sure what I'm saying is "connecting" with others, makes them feel good about the exchange, and not unheard or neglected in anyway. That is, I put a hell of a burden on myself to make sure everyone feels seen.... so, before long, it overwhelms me.

I left a forum over a year ago because I was overwhelmed, and I meant to go back... I mean i miss some of those folks... but now I'm afraid. I don't know what to say.

Oddly enough, I enjoy the chat here for the most part. If it were a group of people talking, face to face, I'd have a harder time hearing the various threads of conversation, but having things in print makes it much easier to follow.

 

[Noelle]

What a cool question/topic! I've never even thought about this, but yes -- online interaction can be as draining as face to face interaction for me. I teach college writing and have students emailing en masse (usually in a panic) around midterm and finals week, and even that is less draining than trying to socialise online at times. I don't have any social media accounts; and now I wonder if this may not be part of the reason why...

Really great question. Some insightful replies here too. Thanks, OP

 

[Thinx]

I said No. I'm not anxious usually. But I don't chat, that would be difficult for me. I really enjoy reading what ya'll say, thanks!

 

[Nightingale121]

It's not necessarily ridicule or rejection that concerns me.
It is more the quality of what I am about to say that concerns me.
I value this community a great deal.
I've made connections here, frequently, that are rare or non-existent IRL.
Other people just aren't interested in subjects that interest me...
or thinking in general.
You kind people are the best conversationalists that I have ever met.

And so I am usually very careful about the quality of what I am about to share.

I agree with you about this community and also about the concern regarding the quality of posts.
However, I basically have these quality standards in most forums or written conversations. It's not only about the others and how much I value them, but about myself and my own "inner quality standard" as well for me. To meet this standard can be stressful and time consuming at times when I edit a text again and again until I'm finally satisfied enough with it to hit the "Post Reply" or "Send" button at last.

I find that chat is less stressful for me than threads. I ‘allow’ myself to post in chat without worrying too much about contributing anything useful. That takes a load off my shoulders.
In chat, If someone misunderstands something I say, then I can correct it right away.
And if chat gets stressful I can leave, again, I allow myself to just leave without worrying what the other members will think.

I agree with you about worrying less about the usefulness of my contributions in chat. This makes the chat less stressful in a way for me too.
Depending on how fast-paced a specific conversation in chat is it can get stressful for me anyway though because although I don't worry too much about the usefulness of a particular message I still want to make sure to write properly and not to make too many spelling or grammar errors in the first place despite the existence of the edit option to fix this later.
Plus, it sometimes feels to me as if I can't express and explain everything I would like to say properly in chat because the chat is rather suited for short messages and flows so quickly. It limits me in a way. Due to this I sometimes switch to PMs with someone eventually to take more time to explain my point and write it all down in one longer text instead of dividing it in several chat messages.

 

[TempeFan]

I thought online would be less stressful, that perhaps I could relate and explore my uniqueness in the comfort of my own home with like minded people who would be willing to overlook my cluelessness and see me, not just my Aspergers, and accept me for who I am and see all the good stuff I have to offer instead of just rejecting me for my lack of social savy. On or off line, history just repeats itself again. I am welcomed warmly until I let my guard down and Whammo! Same drain.

I tried online group therapy. When it was my turn to speak and tell my personal story about my major milestone moment that changed my life for the better, I made one tiny little mistake by quoting verbatim what I had been told when I joined this forum. The person in charge of the group session, himself an HFA who I liked and trusted and whose job it was to help autistics feel safe and protectd, immediately and sternly cautioned me that I would have to think more like an NT if I wanted to particpate in his group. Then he started a long rant accusing me of thoughts I never thunk and deeds I never did because according to him, he ASSUMED I meant the opposite of what I said which I never do.

There is no place where an HFA like me can be understood and accepted, not even here. I am shunned by the powers that be for being too unusual to fit into a predominantly NT world.

 

[techteach]

@TempeFan

So sorry.

 

[WildCat]

@TempeFan sheesh. Just when I got over a stressful day at work, I had to read what happened to you in your post. I can say my feathers are ruffled once again.

I am truly sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Danno]

"Yes, sometimes"
If it is someone you rarely/never see for whatever reason, it's easier to maintain a friendship/acquaintanceship with them rather than lose contact completely.

It's also a way to meet and interact with new people who (even for NTs) you wouldn't normally get a chance to do so with, but for those on the spectrum who may feel less comfortable than most at putting themselves "out there" to meet new people in person, it offers a relatively safe space. It's easier to quit an online conversation at a natural end point than it is to physically walk away from someone too early, or stay there trying to figure out if you've outstayed your welcome or if the conversation is still being maintained.

Also for me, a written conversation is much easier to keep track of, and tell who's turn it is to say something! Mainly because you can retype before submitting it, and also because the words don't necessarily appear "real time" at the same time the other person is typing.

 

[TempeFan]

No need to be sorry. It happens everyday. Online is not as scary as being bullied IRL. When the person in control, with the power to terminate your life or your livelihood, is in your face threatening you with harm, it's a major meltdown. In an online setting, one can just log off. I'm more miffed at myself for not expecting it, but glad I at least now know what to expect. Knowledge is a good thing. One can make better decisions.

It's amazing what a person can get used to. At this stage, such bad behavior doesn't phase me much anymore.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

I said yes, sometimes, mainly because I worry way too much about what I should write. I can spend an hour re-reading and tweaking something short before posting it, worrying that it might be unclear or too long or that I don't even have a right to be participating in the conversation because surely everyone else is part of some unknown group that they'll think I'm pretending to belong to or any number of other ridiculous concerns. Then, after posting it, I'll look at it again and go through the same worries all over again, but also with the embarrassment of having put it out there for everyone to see what a stupid, ridiculous, presumptuous thing I must have said. And all this over a silly online reply that probably doesn't even have anything wrong with it. On that note, I'll go ahead and post this now instead of spending an hour staring at it.

 

[Creep]

Yes, sometimes. It can be tedious. The expectation from others of always “being connected” can also be tiresome. But my reading comprehension is better than my listening comprehension. Plus it’s helpful to have a record to refer back to.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Real time online interaction moreso than forums, but even some threads move too fast on some forums, too fast for me to find the words or say what i want to say without missing things out. same with emails. Not as draining as face to face communicaiton though.

 

[Apleba]

I voted 'always'. While face-to-face communication is exhausting, scary and causes huge anxiety, online communication is less 'scary', but very draining as well in other ways. I have OCD tendencies, so every email or post that I write, I read millions of times, and it also causes anxiety because I don't know how the person will react.

Phone calls are the worst, because I don't see the person. I am already poor in reading people's body language, but when I can't see the person, I am absolutely frustrated. I always think that I make them angry for some reason or that I will interfere with whatever they are doing.