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Featured Is online interaction draining for you?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by the_tortoise, Jan 4, 2019.

  1. Yes, always

    8 vote(s)
    15.7%
  2. Yes, sometimes

    27 vote(s)
    52.9%
  3. Yes, rarely

    8 vote(s)
    15.7%
  4. No

    5 vote(s)
    9.8%
  5. Other

    3 vote(s)
    5.9%
  1. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

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    Many of us find offline socializing to be very draining/difficult, I am curious if anyone else finds online socializing to also be draining/difficult.

    And if yes, is it to the same degree?

    Are the reasons the same or different?

    For me the reasons for it being draining and difficult are largely the same, the only reason unique to online socializing is the lack of nonverbal information (like tone of voice and facial expressions....which I use to help me understand certain things when words alone won't do it or I can't understand the words.)

    For me, online socializing can be less draining or more draining than offline socializing...it really depends on the specific interaction.
     
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  2. Monachopia

    Monachopia ...spiral out... keep going. V.I.P Member

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    I responded with "Yes, sometimes". Thinking up any response, whether verbal or text-based, to make sure it sounds coherent and not offensive in any way, is actually quite tiring. Analysing whether there's sub-text to what someone said or the possibility of saying something and that something being a 'touchy' subject for the other person is another thing I'm aware of. Then analysing whether I'll come across as a doofus is another worry. Social anxiety kicks in, if something is said more publicly, in group chat or a response to a public post.

    This forum is probably the only place in which I worry less. I know there's no malicious sub-context, people just talk honestly and openly. I still try to explain things clearly so as not be misunderstood, but, it's not hard when I'm not being shady anyway.
    The only time I may find it draining/difficult to 'socialise' here is when I feel like I need to reply to a lot of people; say if I make a thread, which I don't do often for this reason. I like reading people's replies, but, I freak out not knowing whether I'm meant to reply to everyone somehow, whether it'll be rude if I don't, even though I still appreciate the time they took to respond... so instead I hide away because that thought process is difficult in-and-of itself.
     
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  3. Sarah S

    Sarah S Active Member

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    As oh id say 99 ,8 % of my social network is online 0,1 % by phone and the rest 0 , 1 % reel life i voted no i rather socialize on the net then having to do it in rel life al the time actually
     
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  4. Lysander

    Lysander Well-Known Member

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    Any form of interaction can be draining sometimes. It depends on whether you have something you want to say, or if you're bored, or if you're trying to keep a discussion going. Your reason for interacting makes a difference. It's always different .
     
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  5. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    it depends on the person i'm communicating with or what I'm communicating about so I put other
     
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  6. Sid Delicious

    Sid Delicious Balloon animal safety control

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    Not really. I can dip in/out of a conversation on a forum or chatroom far more easily than offline. It's also easier to get out of a negative interaction with someone. But generally I don't find it draining at all.
     
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  7. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I said yes, sometimes. I love the threads. I've been on the chat before and gotten very stressed - I'm thinking, do I need to keep the conversation going? Do I need to talk less? Am I leaving someone out? Am I upsetting someone? How long do I stay on here? How do I get off here? Same as if someone sends an instant message or text and keeps the conversation going. I feel obligated to give immediate responses and keep it short while trying to be clear. It's the same as being with the person or people and is very quickly draining and stressful. I don't know how to excuse myself from a conversation. But with the threads, I enjoy it - because I can say as much or as little as I want and take my time thinking about the subject.
     
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  8. Sarah S

    Sarah S Active Member

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    To clarify this forum yes , Pm in said forum Yes. Chat were ever NO i cant even begin to have a snowballs chance in gods green earth to be able to keep up with al at the same time al over the place (like you Pats im stressed of my ..... in Chats )
     
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  9. techteach

    techteach Captain Oblivious

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    Hi @Pats, Hey @Sid Delicious. Really enjoy reading your posts!
    I answered yes it is extremely draining. Too many memories of the past are dredged up. I read The Forum everyday when I am drinking my coffee. I am learning a lot but it is so much easier not to contribute. So many people here have helped me. Thank you everyone.
    @Autistamatic videos are outrageously good.
     
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  10. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    Thank you :)
    And thanks for the post on my profile too.

    I'm a sometimes voter. Overall I find online communication much more easy and relaxed, but it does depend on who I'm interacting with. There are a few people here and especially on Twitter who are quite infuriating at times but can be interesting at others.
     
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  11. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thank you Techteach. This is encouraging. Maybe you should join in more often. :)
     
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  12. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Sometimes.
    The advantage of the forum is that I can choose what to read and respond to and I have time to think about my answer, can edit and articulate myself more clearly and concisely than in a real time conversation.

    The things I find tiring/draining are:
    -I don't always understand what people mean. I need things spelled out or I won't understand, I'm not good with metaphors and abstract thinking, and I can't fill in all the gaps.
    -I find it hard to read and understand posts with a lot of typos, no punctuation or ones where there are no paragraphs, or each sentence is on a separate line, like a poem. These are generally more hard work to understand.
    - I often don't understand acromyms or cultural references and often I don't understand a post because of this, and have to spend a lot of time just looking things up. It would help a lot if people remembered that it's an international forum and these are not going to be understood by everyone, and take the trouble to write them out.

    As for the chat, my communication style doesn't suit the chat, I can't think, react and type fast enough and get confused when there are multiple conversations going on in parallel. I often don't understand what people are saying, and usually don't have much in common -(edit) conversations are often about things that aren't part of my life or personal experience so I can't contribute, so I don't know what to talk about. I also have social anxiety. I have the same kind of difficulties I have in real life, so I rarely go there.
    -
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2019
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  13. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    I tried the chat once, and it wasn't for me either.

    As regards the local idioms & cultural references, I know I've been guilty of that but it's largely because I've not realised it was something local to my country or that that particular reference was not as widely understood as I thought. I know for me that if anyone asks me nicely, I'll explain or provide links. I find myself looking up references that I don't understand all the time and it doesn't bother me, I do it anyway even watching TV.
    For future reference - if I ever say something anyone doesn't get, a polite enquiry will always elicit a courteous and informative response :)
     
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  14. Monachopia

    Monachopia ...spiral out... keep going. V.I.P Member

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    @Progster I always value your input whenever you post, among a few other people :D Never be afraid to ask for clarification, honestly, I don't think anyone would get offended here as we all understand how difficult communication can be!
    My university lecturers always said, if you don't understand something, never be afraid to ask the question, as chances are, there's probably someone else who didn't understand it too. :)
     
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  15. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I voted yes, sometimes.

    On a forum like this I can read and re read and read again if I’m trying to understand another’s point of view.

    At the same time as there being no time limit for an answer, there’s also no tone of voice or body language.
    (Apart from my own, in my head, with my accent...
    ...doesn’t matter where in the world you all dwell, as I read your words, you all sound like me, in my head)


    For me, the draining part is trying my best to make sure I’ve understood correctly when there may be some parts of the text that I don’t understand.

    - usually personal experiences, unless I’ve experienced something similar.
     
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  16. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

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    I voted 'sometimes draining', but I am somewhere, between 'sometimes' and 'always', for the same reasons that Monachopia and techteach have expressed, and, perhaps, the fact that I am still, somewhat, hyper-vigilant, as the result of a negative experience I had on a forum I was a member of, prior to joining, here, and the fact that a member on this forum, somewhat, covertly, antagonizes me, from time to time, and has stated on a number of occasions his disdain for 'emotional people'. I, quite, enjoy, and feel the most relaxed in the music and games sub-forums, and tend to spend most of my time, there.
     
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  17. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    That's sad, because we're all emotional people by definition. Even disdain is an emotional response.
     
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  18. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

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    So much of what you have described, is what I tend to experience. But, could not have put into words, so coherently.
     
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  19. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Progster said everything I would have!

    The only other tiring thing is that whenever I get an Alert or message, my brain's first thought is something like, "oh no, what did I do wrong..." which I realize makes no sense because that's never happened here.
     
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  20. Mr Allen

    Mr Allen Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It can be, like I get fed up of having to report/block idiots on Facebook who flame me for both my Political views and views on Star Wars movies, like I voted remain for Brexit because I have no quarrel with immigrants, and I thought The Last Jedi was decent.
     
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