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Is it wise to "cross that bridge when we get to it"?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Gift2humanity, Mar 6, 2021.

  1. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I really hope someone gets this post, it's about anticipating and hoping to prevent problems.
    "Cross that bridge if/when you get to it"
    That is sometimes said to me.
    It feels disorganised and ill prepared.

    Do we pitch our tent when we arrive, so we are nice and dry when the rain comes?
    Or
    Do we go with the flow and pitch the tent when it starts raining?

    I hope I am making some sense.
     
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  2. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes I think I see what you mean. It's a saying isn't it, it's supposed to get someone who's maybe a bit anxious to chill and not worry, but I can see it can seem just ill preparedness. But it means, first things first, take things a day at a time, don't worry about that yet...
     
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  3. Aneka

    Aneka Well-Known Member

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    I pitch the tent when it starts to rain. I live far too much in the present because my life has proven unpredictable. Things rarely turn out as anticipated. My younger self had imagined a far different future for myself. I try to work hard in the present and only will think about plan B in case I fail. Maybe it's a coping mechanism I adopted in challenging times to function.
     
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  4. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Plan A, B, and Z failed. So now l tell myself, l am a survivor, even if it's thru failure. I still survived. I pitched my tent, but it has holes in it. Yet, l decided to be happy.l decided to survive because l have excellent memories and now it's time to retire.
     
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  5. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes you've got it, it's a paradox.
     
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  6. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think cross that bridge when you come to it is appropriate sometimes but other times living for the day is not being prepared and I have trouble finding that balance.
     
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  7. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    I can understand what you mean, but I think the moral of that phrase is to not worry about the future so much and to focus on the present. At least that's how I take it.
     
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  8. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    Unless it's a bridge too far. :)

    When I hear "cross that bridge when we get to it," I have to dig into context and look at what I know about the person and situation to know what it really means. They may be procrastinating or merely asserting their authority. Any complex task can have sections where multiple things have to be done serially, in parallel, or in some combination.

    It can mean that other tasks must be performed first. It can mean we could be doing this in parallel but I can't deal with, or don't have the resources to do, more than one thing at a time. It could mean this task is less important and I don't care very much if it gets done. It could mean the task is extremely difficult and I'm afraid to tackle it until I absolutely must. Or relatively easy and I want to tackle the difficult stuff first. Or I want to hold off on this because conditions may change and make the effort irrelevant. In the end, you may never need to cross the bridge

    It might even be they want to do "B" first simply because you want to do "A" first and they want to assert their dominance.

    In any event, they are probably disputing your prioritization of tasks.

    Similar to: one step at a time, first things first.

    Weather doesn't sneak up on you so quickly that if it is warm and sunny now, you can't wait to put the tent up a bit. Maybe eating or collecting water or starting a fire is more important. In a complex project within an organization, you may not have the luxury of doing things in the convenient or the most logical sequence. Your supervisor gets to decide.
     
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  9. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    I do also think we should prepare for some things though most definitely. For example, I live in an area prone to natural disasters, so I always have a few bug out bags ready at all times. Supplies in my van too. I more prefer hope for the best, but prepare for the worst kind of mentality, that's more wise in my opinion.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2021
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  10. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    I struggle with balancing being prepared or 'rolling with it'.
    Can't seem to find a happy medium.

    Like these are two different mind sets, requiring two different sets of skills so I can do one or the other.
    Can't do both at the same time.

    In my own case, being ultra prepared for most all eventualities served me well raising three children,
    but I didn't 'switch it off' or taper it off as the children got older and more independent. (late teens-ish)
    I fine tuned and developed it instead.

    When I asked the question,
    "What's wrong with having 3 alternate ways of getting from A - B should that bridge be in need of repair when I get to it and therefore uncrossable?"
    That (in addition to other things) earned me a dx and meds for OCD.

    I thought it absurd people would just roll up to this metaphorical bridge without having a least one plan of action should they be unable to cross.

    Much eye rolling, mild belligerence and tutting at a therapist over time revealed I was making myself quite ill with my perception.

    Old habits die hard.
    I launched headlong and full tilt into avoidance of metaphorical bridges instead, rather than give up being prepared :)
     
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  11. Amphilyke

    Amphilyke Member

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    Sometimes you just can't find the tent. And you may end up getting rained on as a result. But you just have to focus on the things you can accomplish now, and then maybe later other things will be, or can be made, possible. Or maybe you could start pitching the tent now, but by the time you are finished you will be too tired to build a fire and it is getting very cold very fast. What if it rains? We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Build the fire now, then you can rest and have energy left over for the tent along with a source of warmth. Sometimes the problems you anticipate are less severe than the problems you have now. Certainly if they can be anticipated, then they are not currently in effect. So the problem of the present need to take precedence. You might not even get to the future or its problems without first solving problems in the present.
     
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  12. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    "Crossing the bridge"

    To me it has simply there is a task that has to be done, but you can see the potential for a future problem with taking on the task... But you still you have go ahead with the plan, and if that problem does crop up, then you have deal with it, and try to anticipate how you might solve the problem...
     
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  13. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

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    The saying kind of aligns with the concept of wu wei in Taoism and Confucianism and also stoic thought.

    Sometimes it's best not to worry too much about what-ifs that may not arise.

    And if you've got a proverbial ace up your sleeve, such as a a 2-second tent you need not worry about the weather forecast or setting up the tent beforehand.
     
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  14. SimonSays

    SimonSays A work in progress

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    The term implies that it may not even happen, therefore worrying about something that may not happen does a number of things...

    1. You worry about something, then it doesn't happen. You've worried for nothing. Made yourself feel bad.
    2. You worry about something, then it does happen. You have to deal with it, but have effectively dealt with it twice. Worrying instead of being in the present first, then dealing with it as you experience it.

    In each case you have used energy you didn't need to use. Reinforced negative habits and patterns making it more likely you will do it again, and it becomes easier to worry about minor, even meaningless things in a similar way.

    It all comes out of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of a future you can imagine but don't prefer. Focussing on what you don't want actually makes it more likely you will experience it. Law of attraction is impartial. What you put out is what you get back.
     
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  15. SimonSays

    SimonSays A work in progress

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    Pitching your tent is a practical choice. If you're going to need it, get it done and relax, or start a fire first, then pitch and relax. Or another variation on this theme. If you leave it and it rains you will get wet. You will dry eventually. Some people don't mind getting wet. Ultimately none of it matters.

    But no point worrying that it could rain and then not pitch your tent before it does. Pitch it first or don't, but don't worry. If it rains and you get wet putting it up, you'll probably make pitching it your first task next time.
     
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Or forget the bridge, tent, stay at the Hilton before the bridge, and then go home.
     
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  17. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    Look at bridges on the internet and find a 'Glamping' Pod :)
     
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  18. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's good to focus on the present, however I have made errors because I have not planned for the future in my life.
     
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  19. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I used the tent pitching as an analogy, and your post makes great sense but I dont know how to apply it to my current problems.
     
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  20. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Yes same here, hence my second post.
     
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