I wonder also the other way round to the teaching, I still have a degree to finish and I might do a postgraduate degree or a course in the future as well. Namely, if I want to talk to the professors about difficulties I've been having. I got overstimulated again, so I don't feel like going anywhere if I don't need to. I spent a lot of time a few days ago trying to write an email explaining my difficulties and asking for some support, but I feel like I list all the symptoms of autism without saying the name autism, and on one hand it's easy to get a feeling from the email that there is a common reason behind all this and it has to do with mental health, so it could leave someone wondering, which isn't neccesarily good. It kind of does bring to my mind concerns of autistic people. Also I have the concern that my email is unclear and someone might get confused reading it as for what I exactly expect from them, my main concern is that they would think I'm looking for emotional support or for simplistic solutions. People tend to see sensory issues as less severe than they really are and offer advice such as "just eat" or "just focus in this noisy environment". To a degree, it's true that I strive for emotional support, reassurance. On the other hand, I think it would be better to be more specific in what I'm asking for but my problem is that I don't know what I should be asking for and in what form. I tried to write an email, because I'm not feeling okay recently and I have trouble leaving my flat, especially to commute, not just be in my neighbourhood which is relatively peaceful and I can fulfil all the basic needs within walking distance. I have zero idea how I should be communicating with the profs and it's hard to get heard in class, and when I'm tired it becomes too much. I can't just walk up to them and talk, I'm sorry, I don't always know how to interact face to face, especially when I'm not feeling fine. It's kind of hidden behind the fact that most of what I do is doing things on a computer. I wish there was someone to help students with disabilities, but I don't know of anyone like that. I'm ashamed to talk to random people at the university and wave the autism flag (as mentioned, most people don't even know what it actually means). Some of the time, someone is being hostile and I don't even know why. In retrospect and with the help of friends and family, I know later that maybe they were hostile, because they perceived what I said as too direct. But I can't help it in the given moment. I'm going to say something possibly wrong or not say anything at all. I think it's better to not give up. You can't overthink 100% of what you say, it's impossible. I mean, I wish there was someone who is less fussy. There is one proffessor with whom I get along and who is open to talking about problems, but I don't want to make fuss and bother her and take up her free time and put responsibility on her that she might not be able to or prepared to handle. It would be much better to not discuss such things in writing, but I can't hear through the phone well and I don't feel good enough to commute and then try to initiate a conversation IRL. When I'm not fine, I suffer from all kinds of communication problems, go nonverbal, miss all the cues, can't coorditane body language and facial expressions. I have a feeling like it might not appear to a professor that if usually this behaviour means I just hang out in class and want to be there but not actively interact (I frequently get tired and zone out to talk very enthusiastically later), that on a different occasion it might mean something completely opposite. She thinks I'm very social, but family members are used to the fact that I go nonverbal a lot of the time, it's not all that unusual or strange for me. I don't think it's a bad thing by itself, not everyone has to be a salesman, but I feel burdened by the assumptions that some professors are making and by how they portray what "normal" communication consists of. I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking it and worrying too much, but the act of sending an email only builds up anxiety. Or in general haveing to walk up to someone and make fuss. I hate being the center of attention and I worry a lot about being misunderstood. It also can look like a lot of things without a torough diagnosis.