Is it normal or unusual to be apathetic toward the rest of humanity?

[Kouzai]

I was never told I had Aspergers all my life until I got a slip of paper a few years later with my diagnosis. As such, I don't know how other Aspergers or Autism people react or feel at all. I only know how I feel.

Simply put my feelings to the masses are like this: As long as my few loved ones (friends, family, acquaintances, pets) are safe, happy and content the rest of the world can burn. Hell, I would even strike the match most days.

I don't feel (or have the energy to feel) for met people so I remain polite, smile and move on. I smile a lot because it serves as a mask for me. If some one got hurt I would laugh (mostly because they were doing something foolish). I don't like physical violence just because, but I will admit to having some favoritism toward emotional and mental manipulation.

I view most people as idiots, disgusting wastes of space, and so on but it is more dull or muted than anything. I suppose one could call it apathy or indifference to their existence. In a way, a part of me sees my close relationships as an offshoot of my own being. Hence why I am so protective and concerned for them?

On the other hand, I can connect to others on a one by one basis or in a small group. It's just viewing the world and it's population as important to me personally is impossible.

I never told anyone this before because I was constantly being judged or watched, but now I wonder if it is truly hard to emotionally connect with others. Or if this was more common than I thought?

How about you guys? Is it easy to connect to people (as a whole) or at least understand where they are coming from or is it a difficult task?

 

[DudBomb]

I'm 39, and just now getting diagnosed with aspergers. I can relate to most of what you wrote except the people being idiots part. I only get that when I'm in a certain bad mood. It feels like everyone wants to be rewarded for stupidity, and everything they do makes me cringe. I want to tell them to their face, the extent of their stupidity. I know I'm not wrong "every" time either, lol.

For instance, my niece, getting me a neon yellow, tight fitting, stretchy polyester, shirt I'm 6'5" 380 pounds. Could you imagine, LOL. Still a li'l salty over that one. I felt like calling her out in front of everyone. It wasn't the first time. My other niece said well its the thought that counts. I was like, WTF, she didn't think that's the problem. Felt like she just grabbed the first thing she could find. All the while everyone else is opening, at least, semi thoughtful gifts, from her. Sorry, apparently I needed to get that off my chest. No pun intended.

I use humor to ease frustration and anxiety. At times the part in my brain that says this is inappropriate malfunctions. If the anxiety is too much from this, there is a chance I will never talk to the person again, if possible.

Talking to some people drains the energy out of me. I think it is more than just anxiety but also trying to reconcile their emotional responses with logic. I guess that is what they mean by an emotional vampire. They feel better but I feel worse. Trying to reconcile stupidity can also cause this though.

My lack of the physical symptoms of empathy, does not discriminate, by measure of love or hate.

Every where I go I feel I am being judged or watched and lack of empathy, I feel it has escalated, due in part, to my parents warped sense of Christianity.

---Trigger warning---
Christianity and atheist in the same paragraph!
Not an attack on either, but the ignorance of individuals!​

Speaking of Christianity, I have my own beliefs, but When atheists try to disprove the bible by misquotes, taking things out of context, etc and when Christians, so called do the same to justify their actions. This is also a type of emotional vampirism. To get a reaction so they can say see, look how this so called christian reacts to the "truth". Draining your energy to fuel their ego,hate, and indifference.

Like I tell my mom it's not always what you are trying to say, but how you say it. That gives away your intentions. I can barely distinguish love in people, but I can spot a bully from a mile away.

I don't like physical violence or verbal abuse, but don't get me wrong. Under the right circumstances I can unleash holy-hell, both mentally and physically, and feel right as rain afterwards. Truth cuts like a knife and an inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil. I haven't gotten violent in 25 years. It did feel good to get that out though.

I have also been told I give too much information.

Just my thoughts. I'm gonna cut this off before I wind up offending anyone, if I haven't already.

 

[MrSpock]

I don't take pleasure in the pain of others, and I hope that I'm not usually so manipulative. I do find that I'm being slightly manipulative at the moment, a rare moment in which I am struggling to improve communication with someone who is reluctant to do this and who is hurt by our poor communication.

I don't go around and think 'idiot', 'idiot', 'idiot' as I pass people on the street, unless they're obviously driving stupidly or some such thing. I won't think that even in conversation, unless they show a clear lack of reasoning, which I must admit is frequent. I do care about humanity as a whole, and used to want to write a book that would teach people critical thinking skills and popularize them such that running a corrupt government would have to be done in the face of popular opposition. I despair that such a book is possible, that the vast majority are simply incapable of thinking well for themselves. The older I get, the more I think that as a whole we're pretty screwed. I do care, but don't lose much sleep over it, personal stuff and those very close to me does this much more, I do lose sleep over a select member of the fairer sex for sure.

It's not that I feel an emotional connection to the whole rest of humanity, rather I think that we each have our strengths and weaknesses, and it's part of the social contract to apply our individual talents to the world for the betterment of all. "Philosophers and ploughmen, each must know his part, to sow a new mentality, closer to the heart" - Rush. We're living the lives we do in part thanks to many who have gone before us and done this. Not sure that so many are deserving of the efforts of relatively few, but there will be those who are deserving in the future, and I don't begrudge any improvements I might make for those who aren't deserving, that would be a bonus. It's not like I really believe that the book is likely any more. I'm leaning more in the direction of helping those who I am close to, but choose those with care and believe that helping them improves the world as a whole. If I could not believe that about them, I'd not want them close to me.

BTW interesting topic, pithy, probably took some guts to post this, good for you. We're told that it's impolite to talk about religion and politics, but it seems to me that those are some of the more interesting topics and the world would be a better place if we were to talk about them openly, honestly and while feeling obliged to reason well.

 

[DudBomb]

One things about politics and religion is that there are as many interpretations as there are people. Another is they both need good and evil to survive. Same with Doctors, in a world of greed how can you truly trust someone who makes more money if you continue to be sick.

 

[When In Rome]

I think that the answer to the question should not be a generalisation as it may be specific to a condition.

However, it's possible that anyone can feel apathy or misanthropy and it's often said that there's a bit of autism in everyone.

So unusual? Perhaps. Normal? What is that really?

 

[pax]

I wouldn't say I'm apathetic towards the rest of humanity, but I certainly care less about it than I used to. That's borne from bad experiences more than neurology though - I used to care what everyone thought of me and would overcompensate to avoid upsetting someone accidentally. I am now resigned to the fact that some people will not like me or will treat me badly regardless of how nice I am, some people will be nice to my face and turn around and stab me in the back. Some who are particulrly cruel and manipulative don't wait tht long.

So some people's opinions don't count. I do my best to stay away from them. If I can't I do what I can to maintain my safety and wellbeing, not theirs. There are of course good people, and I find the more crap people I get rid of, the more nice people I'm finding.

 

[Kouzai]

Thanks for the responses everyone. I feel a bit better about how I perceive things. The idiot comments were mostly in my youth when I was put in the elementary to high school division with trouble makers, fighters, hooligans and the like so whenever I saw them plotting.

Didn't help when I was grasping obscure concepts and talking to them at an early age.

As for religion, I'm actually quite open minded about different practices and cultures. I, myself, am more agnostic and earth based despite growing up with some understanding of Baptist practices of Christianity. The earth based part is due to connecting to nature and animals more than most people. Then again, I do have some uncommon beliefs in history and the Bible so I try not to bring it up.

Really, I only hurt people when they harm or bother one of my friends. The truth is what I tend to go for at first, since many people I've noticed burrow their heads in the sands when something threatens their world view.

 

[WildCat]

That almost sums me up save for the everyone else being idiots part. Everyone has their skill sets, struggles and so forth, so for me it's not a matter of "everyone else is an idiot", more just "everyone else". Might be a harsh reality for some to accept, but it's the truth - there's always that someone willing to swap places with you, and that someone who pities and laughs at you. Fair enough in my book.

As far as the rest of humanity goes, I'll be damned if I'm going to just blindly toss myself out in the world for them head over heels. Between being apathetic or shallow and just pretending to care, I think the former is the better route.

 

[Riley]

You are NOT alone in this, Kouzai. I, myself, have a major empathy problem. The first time I heard about Sharon Tate's death, I merely shrugged. I used to read books where pregnant women dropped like flies. So...One dying in real life didn't really bother me.
I heard a story where a nurse made a pair of twins sick. One died, while the other survived but was handicapped. My thought: "Did her parents keep her? WHY would they keep her? Who'd wanna raise a kid like that?"
I came across a satirical news article that claimed Batman & Robin was the favorite movie of shooter James Eagan Holmes and, as such, the inspiration behind his massacre. I was offended...Not because of lives lost (It's Colorado. They knew the risks), but because I loved that movie. I also see this article as MORE offensive than the video games Super Columbine Massacre RPG! and V-Tech Rampage.

Sometimes, my apathy can turn into downright cruelty. I constantly say Amanda Todd deserved to die. My reason? She was a Canadian. After witnessing the bullying behavior of fictional character Chloe (Miraculous), I insisted that Paris deserved its bombing. Not to mention my tendency to victim blame. Whenever I used to read "Let's Not Meet," I saw it as '****-shaming' how the narrators never slept with the eager men. One such story had a women in a buraq almost ran off the road and killed (Alongside her toddler) by a racist Southern man. Response? I said it was her fault, that doing anything 'unAmerican' is the equivalent of blaring "The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun" anywhere in Colorado; You're askin' for trouble by doing so.

I also tend to crack jokes/make rude observations:

• I jokingly said that Adam Lanza was a fan of Batman Returns and he intended to kill only firstborn children at Sandy Hook as 'revenge' for whatever reason. Then he got lazy and said "kill 'em all and let God sort it out."
• I constantly joke about Colorado and its perchance for death/destruction/shootings. I once said Trump should build a wall around IT instead of Mexico. I lost any empathy and respect for the state after learning about "Killdozer." To me, it's Florida's tragic sibling who's in a abusive relationship.
• My stance on the Isla Vista killings: "I'm pretty sure those girls were the next Chanels."
• To me, James Eagan Holmes is both a moron and a prophet.

 

[goraidders]

Many of your comments remind me of things my daughter says. She says things like that and truly believes every word she says. And it really bothers her that she doesn't "care" about other people. But the reality, for her at least, is she does care about others. She does not connect to them like many people, but she cares. I know she does because I can see it in her when she gets upset watching the news. When she gets mad at how strangers have been mistreated. When she was very young and cried when the children at the elementary school were killed. We almost never watched the news when she was little because it was too much for her. I think she came up with a coping mechanism, "Whatever, I don't care.", because she just can't handle "caring". It is too much for her.

Have know idea if this applies to you or not. But the fact that you are concerned over it makes me think you do care.

 

[Judge]

Many of your comments remind me of things my daughter says. She says things like that and truly believes every word she says. And it really bothers her that she doesn't "care" about other people. But the reality, for her at least, is she does care about others.

That's a reality for many of us. That it isn't that we simply don't have such traits or behaviors, but rather that we are unable to project them in a way that is meaningful or identifiable to Neurotypicals.

So sadly it's often presumed we lack them when it's really not true.