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Introduction from

jtab7800

Member
I'm a little nervous about introducing myself, but here goes...I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2002, when I was a few days away from my 28th birthday. It was only recently that I found out that in 2013, experts stopped calling it Asperger's, and started referring to it as ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).

I was on the wrongplanet.net website for a time, but sometimes, I felt like I was on the wrong planet whenever I went to that site...everything just dried up for me there. I hope this place is different. I've been trying for a long time to do things with my life, but it's turning out to be virtually impossible for a guy like me.

I can't get any woman interested in me, online dating has been a nightmare for me, and I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. I live with my mother and brother, and I don't know how to drive, so the only time I can go out anywhere is when my mother drives me. That's why I'd love to learn how to drive. I help my mother take care of my brother, who is in a wheelchair, and is on dialysis. Hopefully, he can get a kidney transplant.

I have a hard time keeping friends once I make them, and the biggest culprit in it is the fact that we've moved around so often, but we've cut down drastically on moving, and I have a few friends that I've known for a while. They also have disabilities.

I've been around people with disabilities since I was 3-years-old. For a time, when I was a kid, I had a friend with Down Syndrome, and I never thought anything bad about it. To me, he was my friend. But when we moved out of state, I never saw him again. Another friend that I had when I was a kid passed away from a severe asthma attack when we were both 12-years-old.

After I was diagnosed, my father started understanding me better, and he didn't get angry at me anymore. After only seven years of enjoying a better relationship with my Dad, that ended when he passed away in 2009. God, I miss him...I'd love to be able to talk with him about some things. I still have my mother and my brother, but they seem more difficult to speak with.

It can definitely be said that my family and I have been through a lot. All I've ever wanted in my life is to actually have a life. I write songs, I do vocals, and I'm learning to play guitar, but I'm still trying to adjust to playing guitar in front of people with my instructor -- it gets slightly better each time.

I hope to turn my songs into something good. Most of what I write is based on my own life experiences, such as a song about my experiences in being bullied for so many years during my school years. Sometimes, I'll be inspired by something else, such as a news story that I read about domestic violence rising sharply since the start of the pandemic, which inspired me to write a song called "Angel with a Broken Heart." It's a song that basically tells people to not let the arms of love become the hands of rage, and to just love and be loved. That's one of the things I want most in my life -- to love and be loved.

Anyway, I'm sorry that this message is so long. I guess I'm a bit detailed -- there are people with autism who can be a lot more detailed than other people. Not too long ago, I decided to give Autism Forums a try. I hope it'll be a safe place for me, and I appreciate that I'm welcomed to the site.
 
Welcome!

Sorry about your experiences. I'm glad you have an outlet (music) for expressing yourself as it's nice to ensure that we don't bottle everything up inside.
 
Hello. Like you, I am new here too. But I wanted to say, keep being you and someone will show up for you when you last expect it.
 
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HI and welcome @jtab7800

Do hang around a bit and follow some threads. There is a lot of personal history shared in here so do have a look around and read the experience of others.
 
Hello - Nice telecaster , Vox and Fender amp on your profile picture.
Hey. I hadn't realized that I actually clicked the send button while typing my message. I thought I'd lost what I was typing, and I didn't realize until today that I had actually sent the message. What you see in my profile pic is supposed to reflect my love for music, and the fact that there are a lot of waterways, including beaches, in the state I live in. I actually have a Marshall amp to go with the two electric guitars I have. I also have an acoustic guitar, so I've been coming up with a lot of musical ideas. I hope I can make them sound good.
 
Hey. I hadn't realized that I actually clicked the send button while typing my message. I thought I'd lost what I was typing, and I didn't realize until today that I had actually sent the message. What you see in my profile pic is supposed to reflect my love for music, and the fact that there are a lot of waterways, including beaches, in the state I live in. I actually have a Marshall amp to go with the two electric guitars I have. I also have an acoustic guitar, so I've been coming up with a lot of musical ideas. I hope I can make them sound good.

I understand, the picture is really cool! Sounds like you have some good gear to make great music .
 
I'm a little nervous about introducing myself, but here goes...I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2002, when I was a few days away from my 28th birthday. It was only recently that I found out that in 2013, experts stopped calling it Asperger's, and started referring to it as ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).

I was on the wrongplanet.net website for a time, but sometimes, I felt like I was on the wrong planet whenever I went to that site...everything just dried up for me there. I hope this place is different. I've been trying for a long time to do things with my life, but it's turning out to be virtually impossible for a guy like me.

I can't get any woman interested in me, online dating has been a nightmare for me, and I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. I live with my mother and brother, and I don't know how to drive, so the only time I can go out anywhere is when my mother drives me. That's why I'd love to learn how to drive. I help my mother take care of my brother, who is in a wheelchair, and is on dialysis. Hopefully, he can get a kidney transplant.

I have a hard time keeping friends once I make them, and the biggest culprit in it is the fact that we've moved around so often, but we've cut down drastically on moving, and I have a few friends that I've known for a while. They also have disabilities.

I've been around people with disabilities since I was 3-years-old. For a time, when I was a kid, I had a friend with Down Syndrome, and I never thought anything bad about it. To me, he was my friend. But when we moved out of state, I never saw him again. Another friend that I had when I was a kid passed away from a severe asthma attack when we were both 12-years-old.

After I was diagnosed, my father started understandings me better, and he didn't get angry at me anymore. After only seven years of enjoying a better relationship with my Dad, that ended when he passed away in 2009. God, I miss him...I'd love to be able to talk with him about some things. I still have my mother and my brother, but they seem more difficult to speak with.

It can definitely be said that my family and I have been through a lot. All I've ever wanted in my life is to actually have a life. I write songs, I do vocals, and I'm learning to play guitar, but I'm still trying to adjust to playing guitar in front of people with my instructor -- it gets slightly better each time.

I hope to turn my songs into something good. Most of what I write is based on my own life experiences, such as a song about my experiences in being bullied for so many years during my school years. Sometimes, I'll be inspired by something else, such as a news story that I read about domestic violence rising sharply since the start of the pandemic, which inspired me to write a song called "Angel with a Broken Heart." It's a song that basically tells people to not let the arms of love become the hands of rage, and to just love and be loved. That's one of the things I want most in my life -- to love and be loved.

Anyway, I'm sorry that this message is so long. I guess I'm a bit detailed -- there are people with autism who can be a lot more detailed than other people. Not too long ago, I decided to give Autism Forums a try. I hope it'll be a safe place for me, and I appreciate that I'm welcomed to the site.

That was a great introductory post. I mean in the one writing alone you showed not only your writing, detailed and organizational skills, but your compassion, empathy, love for music with abilities there, and your desire and readiness to show and give love for another too. As well, you seem to show personal ambition, some belief in yourself and a need to follow your dreams to successful resolution.

The more you show this side more, through the opportunities like this you initiated to feel heard, and the more you engage others to learn about them and to tell more about you, if not also to support others and share your wisdom, the more chances will follow you I feel. I mean, if I was a single female and looking, I certainly would want to learn more, as your interests and some of your abilities I relate to. I value things like that.
 
Hello. Like you, I am new here too. But I wanted to say, keep being you and someone will show up for you when you last expect it.
Hopefully. But sometimes, in my experience, that can be easier said than done, especially for someone on the autism spectrum.
 
Online dating is primarily focused on the shopping concept, but you will have more success abstaining from using that method to select a date.

Also keep in mind that a lot of online dating is known to cause depression and loneliness so don't put too much pressure on what happens or rather doesn't happen there.

Dating in itself is a difficult thing due to the first impression impact which has nothing to do with the person itself but has a lot of weight on someone's decision to follow up.

Being single is very common in the autistic community, the struggles of fitting in and communication people experience make it so much harder.
 
I'm learning to play guitar, but I'm still trying to adjust to playing guitar in front of people with my instructor -- it gets slightly better each time.
I learned guitar for a while a few years ago, and this was a problem I had. I went to a school to learn and the school held an event every year where the students played in front of an audience. I got nervous / overwhelmed and clammed up. I also felt that I wasn't very good at it and wasn't making enough progress so I gave up learning, but in retrospect, perhaps I should have persisted more, I surely would have learned more.
 
Hello,
I'm glad you have a way to express your struggles because you don't deserve to suffer.
you mentioned domestic violence. Your response to it was to encourage love on a personal level. I want to point out that broader systemic issues contribute to domestic violence. The pandemic is one example. If the United States had a better approach to the pandemic, that would in turn improve our relationships and make us happier. I wonder if some people were eager to stop staying at home because of domestic violence.
in my case the opioid crisis and war on drugs contributed to domestic violence. it was a complete nightmare. There are several changes that need to be made to the federal policy on drugs. Right now the way people think about drugs is far too black and white. They were taught that all drugs are bad and it is immoral to use them. Some drugs have medical benefits that we are not using which includes the anti addictive properties of psychedelics. Rehabilitation could be more effective if it minimized relapse which In turn leads to domestic violence.
legalizing marijuana would also help border security. It is for the same reason legalizing alcohol stopped drug traffickers from smuggling alcohol over the border. It is much more cost effective than building a wall.
A common trigger for domestic violence may be fights over money. Minimizing domestic violence therefore requires addressing economic issues. This includes the minimum wage, wage theft, wage discrimination, worked unions, chronic pain from working, the cost of medicine, the cost of living, the housing crisis, student loans, and many others. I dislike consumer culture because people spend thousands of dollars on things they need like electronics and extra fancy clothing. Compulsive buying is a problem.
stress from work is commonly displaced to our relationships. A bad day at work can make you irritable with your spouse, creating a plausible trigger for domestic violence. Improved working conditions should help a little.
In order for a relationship to be sustainable, both parties should try to avoid economic co dependence by each being able to stand on their own. Otherwise, it opens the door for toxic behaviors like leaving your boyfriend with all the bills that he can't pay. He could lose his house over this, go homeless, and starve because of a bad break up.
I hope that you are starting to see the big picture. Domestic violence is more than individuals failing to love each other. There are broader social issues which overlap with domestic violence. I find it interesting to see how complicated issues over lap and are not really separate. There is more to it, but this is a start.
 
Hello,
I'm glad you have a way to express your struggles because you don't deserve to suffer.
you mentioned domestic violence. Your response to it was to encourage love on a personal level. I want to point out that broader systemic issues contribute to domestic violence. The pandemic is one example. If the United States had a better approach to the pandemic, that would in turn improve our relationships and make us happier. I wonder if some people were eager to stop staying at home because of domestic violence.
in my case the opioid crisis and war on drugs contributed to domestic violence. it was a complete nightmare. There are several changes that need to be made to the federal policy on drugs. Right now the way people think about drugs is far too black and white. They were taught that all drugs are bad and it is immoral to use them. Some drugs have medical benefits that we are not using which includes the anti addictive properties of psychedelics. Rehabilitation could be more effective if it minimized relapse which In turn leads to domestic violence.
legalizing marijuana would also help border security. It is for the same reason legalizing alcohol stopped drug traffickers from smuggling alcohol over the border. It is much more cost effective than building a wall.
A common trigger for domestic violence may be fights over money. Minimizing domestic violence therefore requires addressing economic issues. This includes the minimum wage, wage theft, wage discrimination, worked unions, chronic pain from working, the cost of medicine, the cost of living, the housing crisis, student loans, and many others. I dislike consumer culture because people spend thousands of dollars on things they need like electronics and extra fancy clothing. Compulsive buying is a problem.
stress from work is commonly displaced to our relationships. A bad day at work can make you irritable with your spouse, creating a plausible trigger for domestic violence. Improved working conditions should help a little.
In order for a relationship to be sustainable, both parties should try to avoid economic co dependence by each being able to stand on their own. Otherwise, it opens the door for toxic behaviors like leaving your boyfriend with all the bills that he can't pay. He could lose his house over this, go homeless, and starve because of a bad break up.
I hope that you are starting to see the big picture. Domestic violence is more than individuals failing to love each other. There are broader social issues which overlap with domestic violence. I find it interesting to see how complicated issues over lap and are not really separate. There is more to it, but this is a start.
I agree with you on a lot of things. And I would never inflict domestic violence on anyone, because that's not who I am. What I said, though, was that I wrote a song that's against domestic violence, and it encourages people to love instead of hurting each other. The song was inspired by a disturbing news article I read about the sharp spike in domestic violence incidents during the pandemic.
 
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