I’m new around here. I have to say that my life has not been easy and a lot of horrible things have happened to me so be prepared if I vent about anything from my past for some pretty terrible things and hurt emotions. For starters I was severely bullied in high school and the school refused to help me because I didn’t want to be like everyone else. The kids did so many awful things to me from throwing garbage at me to saying some pretty racist things. The worst was how no one ever let me say anything and would always tell me, “Shut up! No one cares!” It got to the point that I basically stopped talking to most kids because I didn’t want to hear them say that anymore and if they did talk to me, I would yell at them to leave me alone because I didn’t know if it was going to be some sort of joke where they tell me to shut up as soon as I tried to say anything. At work last year I actually snapped at a girl that was basically doing the same thing to me and I was trying to tell her to stop it because it was a major trigger for me and that it was rally making me angry and I didn’t want to cause a scene but she kept shushing me and I actually got up angrily and punched out because our shift was basically over and she tried to give me this fake apology and explanation that it was just a “joke” even though my face was clearly showing that it wasn’t a joke to me. I refused to talk to to her ever again and even refused to be in the same room as her because she showed me how little she saw me as a person. I didn’t have that choice back in high school.
What made things even worse for me is the fact that my sister was valedictorian of her graduating class and went to Harvard while I struggled for years with being undiagnosed with Asperger’s and being taught math and science in ways that didn’t make sense to me. I kept feeling like teachers were judging me for not being like my sister. I had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to keep up. I don’t blame my sister at all for this but people don’t realize what kind of stress and pressure that can put on a kid. I actually began to think that I wasn’t good enough to get accepted in any college and so I barely filled out any applications because I didn’t see what the point was if I was just going to be rejected by all of them just as I seemed to be rejected constantly in school. No one cared even a little when I had a major cry for help and almost tried to end it all in class by hurting myself. I will tell more about what happened to me in school that really traumatized me and was made worse by an evaluation the school psychologist did on me at a later po8nt in time.
What made things even worse for me is the fact that my sister was valedictorian of her graduating class and went to Harvard while I struggled for years with being undiagnosed with Asperger’s and being taught math and science in ways that didn’t make sense to me. I kept feeling like teachers were judging me for not being like my sister. I had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to keep up. I don’t blame my sister at all for this but people don’t realize what kind of stress and pressure that can put on a kid. I actually began to think that I wasn’t good enough to get accepted in any college and so I barely filled out any applications because I didn’t see what the point was if I was just going to be rejected by all of them just as I seemed to be rejected constantly in school. No one cared even a little when I had a major cry for help and almost tried to end it all in class by hurting myself. I will tell more about what happened to me in school that really traumatized me and was made worse by an evaluation the school psychologist did on me at a later po8nt in time.
