• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Introducing an alien

O

Oblio

New Member
Hello,
I am 43 years old, live in British Columbia. I go by the name Oblio here. Have you ever heard the story? It is about a child born with a round head, in a pointed world. When I was small, I would reach a point in the story and sob, and turn it off. In the story, Oblio discovers that everybody has a point. Check it out on YouTube. It is very retro.

Some behaviours I displayed when younger:
-walked on toes
-tactile defensive (dislike clothes)
-inappropriate speaking volume so my ears were checked
-crying and putting a hole in my page if I got a question wrong
-as a new student, I followed my classmates and baaaaaed like a sheep because they all seemed the same and to follow each other and it annoyed me
-among other things

I do not have an ASD diagnosis, and am not sure if I have always felt like an alien due to trauma or biological neuro diversity. I'm okay with being an alien, and don't want to wrongly appropriate neurodiversity. Maybe I am just undiagnosibly defective? This is why I am anonymous. I am generally terribly open, having been described as "the girl in the glass house begging all of the other children not to throw stones". I just fear being more exposed right now.

While I am okay with being an alien, I am struggling with seeing my daughter suffer socially. At 12, she is a beautiful soul, with many gifts. She is kind, honest, accepting, creative, and never bored. At school, she is quite socially isolated, and it hurts to watch. She also does not have a diagnosis. Her language skills are good. She's just a little odd.

Her teacher suggested social skills training, and I kind of cringed. At times I have successfully pretended to be other than I was. I fit in, sort of, but it wasn't a happy experience. The happiest times are always when I can be authentic with other people, and they are also authentic and interesting. I do not think she should be expected to conform, I just wish she had like minded peers at school.
 
Oblio said:
Hello,
I am 43 years old, live in British Columbia. I go by the name Oblio here. Have you ever heard the story? It is about a child born with a round head, in a pointed world. When I was small, I would reach a point in the story and sob, and turn it off. In the story, Oblio discovers that everybody has a point. Check it out on YouTube. It is very retro.

Some behaviours I displayed when younger:
-walked on toes
-tactile defensive (dislike clothes)
-inappropriate speaking volume so my ears were checked
-crying and putting a hole in my page if I got a question wrong
-as a new student, I followed my classmates and baaaaaed like a sheep because they all seemed the same and to follow each other and it annoyed me
-among other things

I do not have an ASD diagnosis, and am not sure if I have always felt like an alien due to trauma or biological neuro diversity. I'm okay with being an alien, and don't want to wrongly appropriate neurodiversity. Maybe I am just undiagnosibly defective? This is why I am anonymous. I am generally terribly open, having been described as "the girl in the glass house begging all of the other children not to throw stones". I just fear being more exposed right now.

While I am okay with being an alien, I am struggling with seeing my daughter suffer socially. At 12, she is a beautiful soul, with many gifts. She is kind, honest, accepting, creative, and never bored. At school, she is quite socially isolated, and it hurts to watch. She also does not have a diagnosis. Her language skills are good. She's just a little odd.

Her teacher suggested social skills training, and I kind of cringed. At times I have successfully pretended to be other than I was. I fit in, sort of, but it wasn't a happy experience. The happiest times are always when I can be authentic with other people, and they are also authentic and interesting. I do not think she should be expected to conform, I just wish she had like minded peers at school.
Click to expand...

"you've got a point there!" I remember this from my childhood :) Welcome to the mothership fellow alien!

I like the baaaing! My equivalent was in Junior High School they showed us Rocky IV. All of the boys stood and put their hands over their hearts for the Star Spangled Banner.... I stood up for the Soviet National Anthem and sang "Союз нерушимый республик свободных..."(The unbreakable union of the free republics.)
such a weird geek that I actually knew the words. They booed me :)

They were such sheep!
 
Yes! That is what I want for my kid. To own her geekdom and stand proud, in a way I wasn't always brave enough to. I don't want her to be socially trained and de-geeked, but to live in a world where people other than her mother realize how cool she is.
 
Oblio said:
Yes! That is what I want for my kid. To own her geekdom and stand proud, in a way I wasn't always brave enough to. I don't want her to be socially trained and de-geeked, but to live in a world where people other than her mother realize how cool she is.
Click to expand...

I have a friend at work who brought in her daughter... I could sense right away that she was on the spectrum. After talking with her mom, I learned that she indeed had the developmental delays and the behaviors that I had as a child. She is 11 and she just had the first close friend tell her that she didn't want to be her friend anymore because she was "too much". It crushed my heart... this kid is absolutely amazing and cool! I hate that she will feel that she needs to change herself just to fit in.

Luckily she has a wonderful mom... unfortunately her mom does not understand autism... It will be a slow process educating her :(

NT parents feel like their world is crumbling down when their kids are so "different".

Your daughter is so lucky to have you as her mom!
 
Oblio said:
-as a new student, I followed my classmates and baaaaaed like a sheep because they all seemed the same and to follow each other and it annoyed me
Click to expand...

Now this here is the sort of sarcasm I can truly respect.

A rare talent. Would have been highly amusing to see.
 
Hi and welcome, I hope that you enjoy it here. I hope you find some useful discussions and resources here, that may benefit you and your daughter.

:seedling::herb::palmtree::evergreen::leafwind::cactus::turtle::crocodile::deciduous::bug:
 
Spocktacular you are here. Beam me up as there is no intelligent life form here. We are all friends here and embrace quirkiness. No need to hide.
 
This is the place!
Aliens are welcome and get along well with us. :D
little-green-alien-gesturing-peace-25277771.jpg
 
Welcome.

You seem very concerned for your daughter. ASD is genetic. I was diagnosed at the age of 56 and it was such a transformative experience because it put my whole life into perspective and gave me a frame work to use to cope. I would suggest that you consider seeking a diagnosis for both yourself and your daughter. It might also be something else--ASD shares traits with other things.
 
I read the book Bright, Not Broken, which compares diagnostic criteria of Autism, Giftedness, and ADHD. The main idea was that the criteria are words that mean the same things, but with different connotations. My biological father was also a seriously detached individual. I always thought I was weird due to trauma, but I've done my best to shield my kids from any trauma, and they have similar difficulties. I will look into diagnosis, but it is a lengthy process here.
 
VictorR said:
@Oblio
Welcome!
Have you considered some books like
Been There. Done That. Try This!: An Aspie's Guide to Life on Earth
Asperger's and Girls
Asperger's Rules!: How to Make Sense of School and Friends
Even if not on the spectrum, they would make good reads. I definitely wish when I was younger that I was aware of such resources so I could better find my way in the world.

@Ursus Chainus
I'm impressed. I only learned the English interpretation, and even then I only recall the first line.
Click to expand...
I haven't read any of those books. I've read lots of clinical stuff about autism, but no practical school survival guides, which would probably be more useful.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom