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I would... If I Were...

I'd get very tired of being there.

If I were writing a book for children, I'd...
 
I would surf the light waves while eating photo-plankton.

If I was wearing a paper bag....
 
People would compliment me on the improvement in my wardrobe.

If I were really excited about planting the garden, I would....
 
Wear magnetized gauntlets with attachments for hoes, rakes and shovels.

If I was a sculptor but then again no, or a woman who makes potions in a....
 
...in a traveling show, I would have my recipe pages laminated.

If I were a vagabond, I would...
 
know where all the best dumpsters were and sleep nearby.

If I say there's meat in the meatballs, when they are vegetarian and he can't tell the difference,
 
I would live there forever, swimming, exploring and never surfacing again, I'd miss coffee though.

If I could find a place to live on a warm deserted island......
 
I would be very busy trying to survive.

If I were ready to dispose of every thing that I don't need, I would...
 
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