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I would... If I Were...

I would be scared of cats.

If I were seeing a hamster paddling a miniature canoe in my kitchen sink •••
 
Have a very sore head.

If I were able to lose sixty pounds...
 
I would practically be a skeleton.

If I were able to run as fast as a cheetah •••
 
I would still just amble along slowly.

If I were a world famous juggler, I would…
 
juggle the silverware when I washed dishes.

If I were able to talk to animals •••
 
… I would be a better friend to them.

If I were going to the moon tomorrow, I would…
 
… I would build a small home right in the middle of it so I had a very large buffer zone between me and all other humans.

If I were able to breathe underwater, I would…
 
... It would make me feel all sorts of confusion about what I want or don't want to see, indecision how much time to devote towards traveling, and disappointment when, as in many theories about this ability, I couldn't do anything to change the past.

If I were a world-famous celebrity...
 
I would get embarrassed constantly, because it would be like everyone is watching me.

If i were a cat..
 
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