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Featured I think I’m going to lose my job

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Doomedtorepeat, Dec 17, 2020.

  1. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    I have been at my job for a long time and my only boss recently retired. I have a new boss and things have not gone well. I have a problem with repeating myself since I am not sure people understand what I am saying.

    I rub my hands a lot when under stress and have to be very careful to not let my coworkers catch me doing it. Recently I over heard a coworker talking about me and mentioned me being a spaz as she saw me rubbing my hands one day.

    My new boss has mentioned that I need to be able to manage priorities on things my old boss use to assign for me. I don’t do well with all the new things he wants me to do as I can’t keep up as once I start on something I have a hard time stopping to work on something else.

    Im pretty sure I’m now failing at what I’m doing and will lose my job since I am not on an improvement plan. My boss has recently told me I don’t need to repeat myself so much and that my new coworkers find it hard to work with me since I don’t collaborate and am invisible.

    If think if I could stop repeating myself that would be one step to help me not be invisible as I avoid conversations so people don’t think I just keep taking about the same thing.

    Is there a plan to follow to stop repeating myself?
     
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  2. Finder

    Finder Active Member

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    Does your employer know that you have ASD? What are the employment laws in your country for those with ASD? These can be hard conversations, but you need to know what you can ask for, accommodations and such, and what your employer must do. I would look at the companies EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity) policies or whatever the equivalent is in your country.

    As far as immediate help, try to make stopping one task and switching to another part of your routine. Just add the step to switch. Try to ask a question once and wait for a reply before following up again. I know this becomes hard when you have this added stress. As far as your co-workers harassing you, make notes of each time it happens. You should not have to put up with abuse.

    I also keep a note book where I record interactions. Part is to document the bad stuff, and part is to evaluate how I am doing. It is kind of a work journal by day and time.

    I am really sorry you are in this situation.
     
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  3. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Its very common to have difficulties and personnal changes when a new boss comes in. Sort of the nature of the beast. If it was me, I would would try and let the new boss know I would work on meeting their expections and show effort and that I was a concientous worker. I might even know I couldn't do some parts but the main thing is to show you try and perhaps the new boss will modify things to meet you half way. It might not work, but all's you can do is try.
     
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  4. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    My company does know I have ASD but until now I’ve not had problems as my boss assigned me things to do and I’ve also had good reviews. My repeating problem I know is bad so I avoid conversation as much as possible.

    I have been using my sick and vacation time because the new group I work with is very outgoing and I’m not. One lady is the worst and makes me uncomfortable. In the morning when I go to my desk if I don’t say good morning she makes comments about how anti social I am. I can’t handle having that kind of attention on me and gets me stressed out.

    In my new position the group sends a lot of emails and does a lot of after hours gatherings. I know I will just end up getting stuck on a topic and repeating myself and it never goes well so I avoid it. I don’t even want to look at my email there are so many I just stop replying.

    I will talk to my HR but when they gave me my review and my boss gave me the improvement plan they stated I needed to be able to interact with my peers. I think I’m in trouble and will lose my job.
     
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  5. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    My boss gave me an improvement plan with things my job has never required me to do before. He said I’m the only one that he has to micro manage on what needs to be done. He also said I need to learn to work on a team. I don’t think my boss likes me and if I talk and repeat things to him he will just get mad.

    When I focus on not repeating myself then I stop being able to understand a conversation. I’m so stressed out as I’ve tried so many times to avoid repeating myself but it happens over and over.

    My stress has been so bad I’ve been having stomach aches and having to take time off and now my boss says my attendance is poor. Maybe I should just quit and try snd find a new job.
     
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  6. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

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    In Dr. Temple Grandin's memoir Thinking in Pictures she mentions a situation where a new boss didn't seem to understand her, but then by putting together a portfolio / summary of the work she's done, that the boss ended up appreciating her and even gave a raise.

    Something that many of us on the spectrum aren't good at is selling ourselves. We're relatively humble and honest, and not ones to brag. In the labour market, those traits tend to be self-defeating, as noble as they are.
     
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  7. Finder

    Finder Active Member

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    Please start looking for a job. But don't quit this one.

    Please speak to someone in HR or someone else in the company that you trust. If people are harassing you in the office, they should know. Find out what your company's discrimination policy is. If you had this position for sometime and your were able to perform, the problem is not just with you. Asking for help is not bad. Keeping quiet and trying to cope might not be the best way forward. Obviously, your co-workers are hostile. In the US this would be obvious discrimination--please take notes: who, what, and when.
     
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  8. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Email or text this to your new supervisor at your job:
    This is hard to admit, but I am autistic. I have worked for this company for some time now, and the new routine is difficult for me, but I am committed to this job, and enjoy helping this company succeed. I look forward to working with you in the years to come. Please be patient with me for the next few weeks, I assure you, I will catch up.
     
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  9. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Maybe try finding a job that doesnt require so much interaction in order to perform your duties? It sounds like interaction being a necessity in the first place is the real core of the issue, and that sort of thing tends not to go away. Usually, it gets worse, particularly if the people around you are inherently hostile, and it rather sounds like they are.
     
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  10. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Sorry you are in this position, things sound tough. What type of job is it? What do you know to be your strengths at this job?Normally I wouldn't walk away from a job until I have another, but I have done once or twice, also found other work after redundancy.

    What actually stops you throwing out a general Good morning! As you walk in? It's a convention, and neurotypical people care about such things. Could you humour them, maybe also buy them cake? That's all I ever did in group offices. They like cake.
     
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  11. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    I will talk to HR today. During my review I brought up that my role has changed but she said I need to work with my supervisor on meeting expectations.
     
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  12. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    I have had a lot of counseling but I end up at the same point every time. I know my repeating is quite bad so the less I engage in conversation the more people don’t get annoyed by me.
     
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  13. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    This lady is so loud. A hello becomes a grand entrance and multiple people all talking in the morning and I cringe knowing I have to walk past her.
    Until my job was moved in the group it was just myself and one other person who handled the board layout. The number of conversations and interruptions gets to be overwhelming and I can’t focus.
     
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  14. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    I will try this.
     
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  15. artful_aspie

    artful_aspie Member

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    Yes, as many have suggested seek help. Depending on where you live there are laws to prevent discrimination that are more effective in certain places. Australian Governments in 1992 introduced laws to prevent exclusion of people with any form of disability from workplaces. However, I understand that is rare & if your boss does not understand ASD then you need an advocate. Look for support in a union, a local health clinic, & any AS support groups - good luck
     
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Think try to focus on if you are repeating. Then stop. Then breathe. Then maybe be quiet. Or ask if they understand. So try to get a response instead of repeating. This is referred to throwing the ball in their court.
    "this needs to be done this way because of a and b and c (you). Then say: do you understand or is there something unclear? Please let me know. This breaks your stance of repeating.
     
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  17. ✨Rosita

    ✨Rosita New Member

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    Um I think no, but you should listen to yourself and If you've said something many times, then its time to stop repeating it, lol! Don't be so hard on yourself, I don't think people can be fired so easily, unless you don't do your work...then that is grounds for firing. Be more confident, and try to engaged with your coworkers, you don't have to be best friends, just professionally engaged with them. If you feel that you appear as weird, then just walk away and speak until someone speaks to you. Everyone is weird, your normal is someone else's weird, someone else's normal is weird to you.
     
  18. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    They only put people on improvement plans they plan to fire. I sent the message someone suggested above to my boss and HR but have not heard back.
    I know I can’t handle this new way of my boss having to answer all the questions people ask it’s overwhelming.
    So many times going to counseling and exercises to improve me conversation skills but I always end up finding a topic I get stuck on. I’m better off not speaking or my repeating shows up and saves me and everyone else a lot of grief.
    My hand rubbing has gotten so bad I hurt my upper back yesterday. I think I waited too long to do anything and will get fired in the next couple weeks.
     
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  19. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    This sounds difficult, do you have a union rep who could help? I am not sure what country you are in, they generally have to help you to achieve the skills they want, as you have been in the job a long time. Could you point out you have been working well for them a good while, and ask to be redeployed to quieter backroom work?

    If you did leave the job, what would you want to do? A similar job, or something different?
     
  20. Doomedtorepeat

    Doomedtorepeat Active Member

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    I have no idea other than look for another job but would be better than what I’m dealing with now.

    My boss said he should not have to micro manage all my tasks and so all the emails from the different engineers come to me and it’s impossible to keep up and everyone expects things to be done immediately. This is completely different than how my old boss managed me and my coworker.
    My coworker is nice and understands if I’m running my hands means I’m getting stressed out and will help me. He also said this new change is hard on him. We have worked together for 11 years. I think my boss does not like me as most of the group is outgoing and I don’t fit in. I also don’t think he understands fully what my job is. The whole thing seems like it’s more trouble than it’s worth now and I need to start looking for another job.
     
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