I like strong and independent women!

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

EDIT: I guess what I am trying to say is that I want a woman who's got herself together and knows what she wants in life. I could care less if they have Aspergers. I have HEAVILY edited this post from the way it was originally.

I've only had two girlfriends in my life and both were Aspie. The first one I met in college in 2013, and we bonded over a love of cars. She was 19 and I was 24. However, she was a bit more lower-functioning than me. She was nice enough, but also came across as an arrogant know-it-all. A few of my friends did not like her very much. She remained in my circle of friends until her family moved to Florida.

The second one unfortunately still lives with her parents within walking distance of my house. We were introduced by my friend and neighbor. She was 22 and I was 29 when we met. She initially seemed to be a perfect fit, but the fact she did not have any of "The Big Three" should have been a red flag; For me "The Big Three" is:

1. Driver's license
2. Steady job
3. Either has a degree or in college

I have all three of those things, and if a potential date does not have at least two of them, I probably won't be interested.

The second girl was just a basketcase, who tried to say that I forced myself on her. This girl seemed to be so mentally screwed up that I serious moral reservations about dating her. On the advice of my parents, my cousin (who is like a sister to me), numerous friends, and my longtime psychologist, I cut ties with her. The awkward part is that she lives just outside my neighborhood.

There is a girl with Aspergers in my closest circle of friends. She is six months younger than me and quite attractive; She did not go to college that I'm aware of, but she drives and has her own car, and she has a really good job. She is dating one of my best friends (also an Aspie). She is the exception to the rule, but like I said she is dating somebody.

 

[tree]

And your point is, what?

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

And your point is, what?

I just want other peoples' take on it. Am I being too hasty?

 

[tree]

Other people's take on what?
Your limited experiences?
ASD females, in general?

What is it you are trying to ask about?

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

Other people's take on what?
Your limited experiences?
ASD females, in general?

What is it you are trying to ask about?

ASD females. Honestly, I'd prefer to date someone who isn't an Aspie, but if I really liked them I'd make an exception. I just haven't had the best experiences with the two Aspie females I've been with.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

I've only had two girlfriends in my life and both were Aspie. The first one I met in college in 2013, and we bonded over a love of cars. She was 19 and I was 24. However, she was a bit more lower-functioning than me. She was nice enough, but also came across as an arrogant know-it-all. A few of my friends did not like her very much. She remained in my circle of friends until her family moved to Florida.

The second one unfortunately still lives with her parents within walking distance of my house. We were introduced by my friend and neighbor. She was 22 and I was 29 when we met. She initially seemed to be a perfect fit, but the fact she did not have any of "The Big Three" should have been a red flag; For me "The Big Three" is:

1. Driver's license
2. Steady job
3. Either has a degree or in college

I have all three of those things, and if a potential date does not have at least two of them, I probably won't be interested.

Within five minutes of me picking this girl up on our first date, she blurted out that she was raped when she was eighteen. This story would later change to "he forced me to give him oral sex". We kissed and fooled around, and than a few weeks after we started dating, she starts acting as though I forced her to kiss me. I immediately broke all contact with her, and it took six months for her to stop stalking my Facebook page!

The girl from college had Aspergers, but the girl from my neighborhood just seemed to be straight-up autistic. I told her that I had Aspergers the day we met, but when I asked her if she was on the spectrum she said she did not think so. She said she'd been in special ed when in school, but did not seem to know what her diagnosis was.

There is a girl with Aspergers in my closest circle of friends. She is six months younger than me and quite attractive; She did not go to college that I'm aware of, but she drives and has her own car, and she has a really good job. She is dating one of my best friends (also an Aspie). She is the exception to the rule, but like I said she is dating somebody.

And there's one Aspie woman I met online who I forgot to mention. I've never met her in person, but I absolutely love her. She just turned 52, and was not formally diagnosed until she was 47! She's bisexual, she's into BDSM, and I guess you call her a lifestyle dominant. She is also a special ed teacher!

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

@BraidedPony

When you think about though, is a schoolteacher really that much different from a dominatrix?

 

[Kalinychta]

If you date two blonde girls and have bad experiences with both, would you then become wary of blonde girls? That would be irrational. No one should be stereotyped as an “Aspie girl.” You will find just as many pleasant and unpleasant people without autism as you will with it.

Also you seem to have high and quite specific expectations, so don’t be surprised when women fall short of them. Maybe also examine your own shortcomings (I think it’s a touch hypocritical, for example, to tell someone on a first date that you’re autistic but to criticize a woman for telling you that she was sexually assaulted).

 

[BraidedPony]

@BraidedPony

When you think about though, is a schoolteacher really that much different from a dominatrix?

 

[GadAbout]

ASD females. Honestly, I'd prefer to date someone who isn't an Aspie, but if I really liked them I'd make an exception. I just haven't had the best experiences with the two Aspie females I've been with.

We haven't heard what you yourself have brought to these "relationships." You seem to be implying that if you were only more selective in your dates, you'd be better off. But are you in a position to be more selective?

@BraidedPony
When you think about though, is a schoolteacher really that much different from a dominatrix?

Wow.

You make some very expansive generalizations from limited knowledge. That's only one of the many traits I think you bring to a relationship.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

If you date two blonde girls and have bad experiences with both, would you then become wary of blonde girls? That would be irrational. No one should be stereotyped as an “Aspie girl.” You will find just as many pleasant and unpleasant people without autism as you will with it.

Also you seem to have high and quite specific expectations, so don’t be surprised when women fall short of them. Maybe also examine your own shortcomings (I think it’s a touch hypocritical, for example, to tell someone on a first date that you’re autistic but to criticize a woman for telling you that she was sexually assaulted).

It's not what she said, it's the way she said it; Specifically, it's more that she changed her story a day later. First it was rape, then it was forced oral sex but no penetration, so she couldn't get her story straight. A couple days after we started dating, she said that she wanted a certain part of me inside of her. She was all over the place!

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

We haven't heard what you yourself have brought to these "relationships." You seem to be implying that if you were only more selective in your dates, you'd be better off. But are you in a position to be more selective?

I took them out to movies, out to dinner, to car shows, to parties with friends...

I gave up on the first girl within a year because...

• Several of my longtime friends (both Aspie and non-Aspie) did not like her very much and thought she was arrogant and know-it-all.
• She was very inexperienced and never wanted to go beyond first base, even after two or three months.

Seriously, one time I brought her to a good friend's birthday, and she complained because they were serving sandwiches instead of pizza for dinner (never mind there were two cakes, mass quantities of beer, and a crapload of junkfood).

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

Wow.

You make some very expansive generalizations from limited knowledge. That's only one of the many traits I think you bring to a relationship.

I was making a joke. I'm sorry if you didn't find it funny.

Obviously teachers don't tie people up (at least not in this country), whip people (again at least not in this country), and dress in black leather outfits, but they do order students around and punish them for not doing as they're told.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

Exactly.

 

[Mia]

What do you bring to a relationship, that's so special? What is it that you have to offer?

You must realize that in coming to site where there are aspie women and indicating that you don't like them, as the result of two relationships, annoys aspie women here. You can't be that clueless.

Noticed that you have dated aspie females much younger than you, an age difference of five years in one relationship and seven years in another. I assume from your choices you like younger females so that you can be more in control, rather than someone who's nearer your age who is likely more self-assured.

Side note: While mentioning aspie women in previous relationships, I doubt that either of them would like you detailing the private things said in your relationship's and detailing them online. It's a breach of their privacy, keep that in mind in the future.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

If you date two blonde girls and have bad experiences with both, would you then become wary of blonde girls? That would be irrational. No one should be stereotyped as an “Aspie girl.” You will find just as many pleasant and unpleasant people without autism as you will with it.

Also you seem to have high and quite specific expectations, so don’t be surprised when women fall short of them. Maybe also examine your own shortcomings (I think it’s a touch hypocritical, for example, to tell someone on a first date that you’re autistic but to criticize a woman for telling you that she was sexually assaulted).

We haven't heard what you yourself have brought to these "relationships." You seem to be implying that if you were only more selective in your dates, you'd be better off. But are you in a position to be more selective?

Wow.

You make some very expansive generalizations from limited knowledge. That's only one of the many traits I think you bring to a relationship.

@Mia

I will admit that I'm guilty of making generalizations at times. I apologize for that. Also, the best way I can describe is that one of my biggest turn-on in a woman is when she has her you-know-what together. I have my own vehicle, a good job, and some money. I am currently living with my parents while I save up to buy a house. I've met two Aspie women I would date; One of them is a friend of mine dating another friend of mine. The other lives clear across the country, but while I would readily date her, I would never settle down with her because she is in her early fifties and obviously not having any kids.

I want a woman who is going to shoulder some of the load and not leave me to support the family on my own.

A driver's license is one of the big ones because in my experience, people who don't drive despite living in the suburbs, and not having disability or impairment of some sort that would keep them from driving, are unappealing to me. I know both men and women in their 30s who have lived in the city their whole lives and have never gotten a driver's license.

One of my friends has spina bifida and has used a wheelchair her whole life. She has a driver's license, and a specially outfitted van with hand controls. She also has a college degree and a job, and I do believe she lives on her own! The girl I dated in 2018 was 100% able-bodied but doesn't drive, doesn't have a job, and never went to college. Whether she's autistic or not, those traits just are not appealing to me.

Maybe I misspoke about Aspie girls, and I guess what I should have said is that I prefer women who are fiercely independent.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

What do you bring to a relationship, that's so special? What is it that you have to offer?

You must realize that in coming to site where there are aspie women and indicating that you don't like them, as the result of two relationships, annoys aspie women here. You can't be that clueless.

Noticed that you have dated aspie females much younger than you, an age difference of five years in one relationship and seven years in another. I assume from your choices you like younger females so that you can be more in control, rather than someone who's nearer your age who is likely more self-assured.

Side note: While mentioning aspie women in previous relationships, I doubt that either of them would like you detailing the private things said in your relationship's and detailing them online. It's a breach of their privacy, keep that in mind in the future.

I'm changing the title...

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

Side note: While mentioning aspie women in previous relationships, I doubt that either of them would like you detailing the private things said in your relationship's and detailing them online. It's a breach of their privacy, keep that in mind in the future.

I didn't share their names...

 

[Mia]

I didn't share their names...

No you didn't. What if they belonged or eventually joined the site? And found something they said to you indicated here? They would be horrified.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

Noticed that you have dated aspie females much younger than you, an age difference of five years in one relationship and seven years in another. I assume from your choices you like younger females so that you can be more in control, rather than someone who's nearer your age who is likely more self-assured.

Quite the opposite...

I thought I wanted someone younger, and it certainly was NOT because I wanted to be the one more in control! I prefer women my age and older now. One my friends (non-Aspie) is 30 and married to a 36-old woman. He says that older women are better because they generally have their act together. I'm 30, and my only reservation about marrying a woman over 36 down the road is that getting pregnant without complications could be an issue. Working at a bar in a college town for 4 years has more or less turned me off to women under the age of about 25 because of their antics (even when sober)! There are exceptions to every rule, but I try to stay away from women under 25.